OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

A TOUCH OF THE POET

Yank snobs rub boozing Mick the wrong way. Trouble follows. GreenStage at Sandpoint Magnuson Park, 7400 Sandpoint Way, bldg. 406, 748-1551. Donation suggested. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through March 23.

AIN'T MISBEHAVIN'

Last week. Stretching the definition of "light opera" to extremes with this revue of Fats Waller delights. Civic Light Opera, Jane Adams Auditorium, 11051 34th Ave NE, 363-2809. $12-$26. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2:30 pm. Through March 9.

* ASHES TO ASHES

Last week. One of Brit playwright Harold Pinter's most recent plays. "In Tobin Maheras' spare production, [the actors] turn these elusive sentences into vivid, jagged shards of consciousness." (Bret Fetzer) A Theater Under the Influence at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $12 (Thurs is pay-what-you-can). Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through March 10.

BRILLIANT TRACES

This week only. One of those two-people-in-a-room-emoting-their-hearts-out plays that actors just love. Freehold, 1525 10th Ave, 1st floor. $10. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm.

DANCING AT LUGHNASA

Opening. The joys and woes of five high-stepping Irish gals. Next Step Theater at the Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 3931 Brooklyn Ave NE, 425-746-6604. $12 suggested donation. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Closes March 23.

* DUMB TYPE

See Stranger Suggests. The astonishing dance-theater troupe returns with memorandum, another loud and visually stunning piece of work. On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $26. Thurs-Sun at 8 pm, this week only.

FULLY COMMITTED

Reviewed this issue. Solo show about an unemployed actor taking reservations for an ultra-chic restaurant. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $24.50-$29.50. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm.

GENOCIDE TRAIL

Opening. About the relations of European and Native Americans, with a title guaranteed to preach to the choir. The Little Theatre off Broadway, 1524 Harvard St, 325-6500. $15 general, $10 students/seniors. Tues-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 3 pm. Through March 17.

GIRL MEETS GIRL

Reviewed this issue. As the title suggests, lesbian romance. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 781-3988. Fri-Sat $20, Sun $15. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 5 & 8 pm, Sun at 3 & 7 pm. Through March 17.

INTO THE WEST

Two kids and a horse. What more do you need? Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St at Seattle Center, 441-3322. Adults $21.50-$22.50, senior/student/child $14.50-$15.50. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 & 5:30 pm. Through April 28.

THE LAST TRUE BELIEVER

"One of the most tedious, brain-numbing theater experiences of my life." (Bret Fetzer) Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $15-$44 ($10 for anyone under 25). Tues-Sun at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through March 24.

THE MAIDS

Last week. Two sisters get kinky in their mistress' bed. "The food is good; the production isn't." (Bret Fetzer) Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 935-8420. $29 (includes dinner), $15 show only (availability limited). Fri-Sat buffet opens at 6:30, show at 7:30 pm. EXTENDED through March 9.

THE MOST HAPPY FELLA

Opening. An old vineyard owner woos a young waitress who thinks he's a strapping young ranch hand. The 5th Ave Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave, 292-2787. $17-$58. Tues-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm. Through March 24.

MY MOTHER'S HAND

Opening. Subtitled, "And other things that burn." A one-woman show by one of the performers in Girl Meets Girl. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 419-9182. $12. Sat at 2 pm, through March 16.

NEW WORKS

This week only. Excerpts from works by Kate Hart, Dickey Nesenger, Andy Mayo, and others. Seattle Public Theater at the Greenlake Bathhouse Theater, 7312 W Greenlake Dr N, 418-1444. $5 suggested donation (or nonperishable food items for Street Survivors project). Sat at 7 pm.

THE PRISONER OF SECOND AVENUE

This week only. Middle-aged guy loses his job, rails at the world, and has a nervous breakdown. A Neil Simon comedy. Theatre 4 at Seattle Center House, 4th floor, 325-6500. Fri-Sat $12 ($10 students/seniors), Sun $10 ($8 students/seniors). Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm.

RICHARD II

Capricious king ends up in the pokey, where he realizes he made some mistakes. Seattle Shakespeare Company at the Center House Theatre, Seattle Center House, 325-6500. $10-$24. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through March 17.

ROMEO & JULIET

Last week. Shakespeare's romantic potboiler, set on the border of China and Russia. Stepping Stone Productions at the Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 325-6500. $15 general, $12 students/seniors. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through March 9.

SAVAGE IN LIMBO

Bunch of thirtysomethings in a bar, moaning about life. By John Patrick Shanley. Theatre Babylon at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $12 (Thurs are pay-what-you-can). Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through March 16.

SCENES FROM AMERICAN LIFE

Reviewed this issue. All about some European immigrants and their descendents. One hopes it won't be as generic as the title. UpRoar! Productions at Open Circle Theatre, 429 Boren Ave N, 325-6500. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through March 16.

TIGER ON TIPTOE

This week only. The puppet tale of a hungry tiger and piece of dried fruit. Thistle Theatre at Langston Hughes Cultural Center, 104 17th Ave S, 524-3388. $6 children/seniors, $8 adults. Sat at 1 pm.

THE WAVERLY GALLERY

The Empty Space returns to their Fremont home with this Kenneth (You Can Count On Me) Lonergan play about an elderly woman losing her marbles. The Empty Space, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $22-$30. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm (select Sat-Sun at 2 pm). Through April 6.

DANCE

* DIRTY WORK

Opening; reviewed this issue. The newest dance/theater piece from 33 Fainting Spells. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 686-3243. $15 ($25 closing night). Thurs-Sun at 8 pm, also Sat at 10 pm. Through March 17.

* DUOMO

This week only. A dance/sound installation with Sheri Cohen and Corinna Befort. RED space, 89 Yesler Way, 3rd floor, 324-6780 (seating limited, reservations recommended). Thurs $8, Fri-Sun $10. Thurs at 7 & 8 pm, Fri-Sun at 8 & 9 pm.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY

BLOODSISTERS: CONVERSATIONS WITH APHRODITE

This week only. Back-to-back character monologues and belly-dancing from Felicity Artemis Flowers and Delilah, respectively. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $20 (includes coupon for a free belly-dancing lesson). Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm.

P.A.T.P. CABARET

This week only. A mix of performances to benefit the acting program at UW, featuring Hilda Guttormsen, David Russell, and more. Re-bar, 1114 Howell, 233-9873. $12. Sun at 8 pm.

SONG AND PANTS

This week only. The terrifying fusion of song and improv comedy that is Captain Smartypants. Seattle Men's Chorus at Benaroya Hall, Fourth Ave & University, 323-2992. $17. Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm.

LATE-NIGHT

VEGAS MARTINI SOCIAL

Last week. Sketch comedy, cocktail-style. Featuring Joey Kline of the Squirrels. Theatre on the Rocks at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 604-2722. $5. Fri-Sat at 11 pm. Through March 9.