OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

ARMS AND THE MAN

Closing. Famous play about love and war by George Bernard Shaw. You should remember it from junior high school. Intiman Playhouse, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $27-$42. Tues-Thurs & Sun at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through June 8.

DIRTY BLONDE

Opening. Mae West is the unlikely muse in this comedy about a struggling actress. Originally performed by Claudia Shear (who co-wrote it) on the other Broadway. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $32.50-$44. Sun-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, matinees June 9, 13, 16, 22, 23, 29, and 30. Through June 30.

FULLY COMMITTED

Solo show about an unemployed actor taking reservations for an ultra-chic restaurant. Now with David Scully. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $24.50-$29.50. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Open run.

G-D DOESN'T PAY RENT HERE

A one-woman show, featuring Judy Gold, about the travails of being a Jewish mother. Directed by Allison Narver. The Empty Space Theatre, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $22-$30. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm, some matinees Sat-Sun at 2 pm (call for dates); no performances June 21-23. Through June 30.

HOLES

Young boy unjustly sentenced to hard labor; sneaky warden has a secret agenda. Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $21.50-$24.50 adults, $14.50-$17.50 for kids/seniors. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 & 5:30 pm. Through June 23.

HOWARD'S END

Opening. E.M. Forster's lovely, perfect novel about the nuances of British uppercrust-ness, adapted to theater time. Book-It Repertory Theater at Seattle Center House Theatre, 305 Harrison St, 325-6500. $19. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 30.

* THE KILLING OF SISTER GEORGE

Closing. A 1967 play by Frank Marcus, directed by Maureen Moran. "There's tons of inherent humor and pathos in this campy little dykefest, and director Maureen Moran made the perfect choice in having the actors play characters, not caricatures. Sister George seems to have done almost everything just right." (Adrian Ryan) A Theatre Under the Influence at Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 325-6500 or 720-1942. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 8.

LYSISTRATA

This week only. This comedy by Aristophanes should be seen by every would-be peace protester as a primer on what really works: A town's women decline to sleep with their husbands until they stop the war. Seattle Central Community College Drama Department at the Little Theatre Off Broadway, 1524 Harvard Ave, 352-6500. $15. Wed-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 3 pm. Through June 9.

MAKING HISTORY

Brien Friel's play about Hugh O'Neill, the last Earl of Tyrone. Northern Lights Productions at Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 729-6977. $14. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm; Mon June 10 at 8 pm. Through June 15.

RECKLESS

A woman flees the hitman her husband has hired to kill her. Oh, and it's Christmas. By Craig Lucas, author of Prelude to a Kiss and The Dying Gaul. Next Step Theater at Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 3931 Brooklyn Ave NE, 232-0198. $12 suggested donation. June 6, 7, 8, 13, 14, 15 at 7:30 pm; Sun June 9 at 2 pm.

SLEUTH

Anthony Shaffer's award-winning mystery, originally starring Sir Laurence Olivier, who is currently unavailable. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $18-$26. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun matinee at 2 pm. Through June 22.

TEATRO ZINZANNI: DINNER & DREAMS

The most expensive dinner theater of all time--three hours of gluttony, lust, and eye candy. Teatro ZinZanni, Sixth & Battery, 805-0015. $89 Wed-Fri & Sun, $99 Sat (includes dinner, but not beverages or gratuity). Wed-Sat at 6:30 pm, Sun at 5:30 pm. Open run.

THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

A talky play by talky William Saroyan, directed by Rita Giomi. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. $12-$18. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, matinees June 9 & 23 at 2 pm. Through June 29.

UNCLE VANYA

Chekhov, with buffet. Steeplechase Productions at Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 935-8420. Dinner and show $29, with a limited number of $15 show-only tickets. Fri-Sat dinner at 6:30 pm. Through June 15.

THE WHOLE FAMNDAMILY

Reviewed this issue. GREX at Open Circle Theatre, 429 Boren Ave N, 985-1019. $10-$12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 15.

DANCE

THE BATTLE OF SEATTLE

This week only. Hiphop and breakdancing, including works choreographed by Daniel Cruz and performed by his group Cruz Control. Rainier Beach High School Theater, 8815 Seward Park S, 621-7378. $10-$12. Sat June 8 at 2 pm and 8 pm, Sun June 9 at 8 pm.

MIXER

Closing. New works by the Crispin Spaeth Dance Group, Juliet Waller and Alan Pruzan, and Lingo dancetheater. Chamber Theater, Oddfellows Hall, 915 E Pine St, 325-2322. $11-$12. Sat-Sun June 8-9 at 8 pm. Through June 9.

SD PRISM DANCE THEATRE SPRING SHOWCASE

This week only. An excerpt from Othello, presented with Jewels of Harlem, Untitled, and Sporadic Moments. With opera-style music from Ellaina Lewis. SD Prism Dance Theatre at Seattle Art Museum, 100 University St, 448-2625. Pre-performance Fri June 7 at 3 pm, free; Sat June 8 at 7:30 pm, $20.

SONG & DANCE

Closing. With Donald Byrd's Seven Deadly Sins, Lynne Taylor-Corbett's Ballad of You and Me, and Kent Stowell's Hail to the Conquering Hero. Pacific Northwest Ballet at Mercer Arts Arena, 363 Mercer St, 292-ARTS. $15-$100. Thurs-Sat 7 pm, Sat matinee at 2 pm. Through June 8.

* THE VIVIAN GIRLS

This week only. It's a work in progress, but a good one at that--based on The Story of the Vivian Girls, in what is Known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion, a 15,000-page novel with mural-sized illustrations by the probably crazy recluse Henry Darger. Darger's work has spawned a whole mini-industry: poems, fashion, rock bands, and now dance. Pat Graney Company at Velocity MainSpace, 915 E Pine St, 329-3705. Pay what you can. Sun June 9 at 2 pm.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY

12 MINUTES MAX

This week only. Six brave new works in dance, theater, and music, curated by Scott Davis and John Kaufmann. On The Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $7. Sun-Mon June 9-10 at 7 pm.

FALLEN WOMEN FOLLIES

Opening. With a different mix of performers each night. You might be lucky enough to catch the erotic trapeze act... foxy, as always. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 22.

HOKUM'S VAUDEVILLE REVUE

Closing. With singing and juggling and stuff. Hokum Hall, 7904 35th Ave SW, 937-3613. $14. Fri-Sat 8 pm. Through June 8.

IMPROVISED SHAKESPEARE

Like Shakespeare, but made up. The new trend in improv. Unexpected Productions at Market Theatre, Post Alley, 781-9273. $10. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Open run.

KAFTAN!

A cabaret that sends itself up. (Hey... wait a minute.) With It's Mark Mitchell, Kurt B. Reighley, Paula!, and guests. "The shtick seems to revolve around Mitchell and Reighley's decorous and 'exotic' shirts and Paula's flowing blue Middle Eastern gown. . . The song selections also hinted at some elaborate conceit from Reighley's campy cross-referenced brain. The pianist, Victor Noriega, was flawless--playing with deceptively lazy precision." (Josh Feit) Swedish Housewife at ING, 1530 Bellevue Ave, 329-5388. Free. Sun at 9 pm. Ongoing.

LA MOME PIAF: THE LIFE AND SONGS OF A FRENCH LEGEND

Opening. The life and work of Edith Piaf, with dinner, unless you say "je ne mange rien." Cabaret at Crêpe de Paris, 1333 Fifth Ave, 2nd floor, 623-4111. $45 for dinner and show, $20 for show only. Fri-Sat at 8:30 pm. Through June 29.

LATE NIGHT

IMPROV SURVIVOR

Opening. Theater games with a nasty voting-off-the-island twist. Comedy Court at Odd Duck Studios, 1214 10th Ave, 442-2044. June 8, 15, 22, 29 at 10:30 pm.

NIGHTCAP COMEDY IMPROV

Following Friday-night performances of Sleuth. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $5. June 7, 14, 21 at 10:15 pm. Through June 21.

KARAOKE CABARET II

This week only. The rift between professional karaoke performers and the rest of us grows ever wider: This cabaret gives you an opportunity to see just how bad the rest of us are--with an open mic afterward. ArtsWest Playhouse, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $7. Fri June 7 at 10:30 pm.

SPIN THE BOTTLE

This week only. With Gregory Hischak, Heidi Schreck, Richard LeFebvre, Scott O and Jen Moon, Gillian Jorgensen, and Josef Krebs. Annex Theatre at Velocity MainSpace, 915 E Pine, 2nd floor, 728-0933. $7. Fri June 7 at 11 pm.

LONG RUNS

CABARET: THE ResERECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.

JET CITY IMPROV at ArtsWest, 938-0339; at the Ethnic Cultural Theater, 781-3879.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at ACT Theatre, 292-7676.

QUEER AS A THREE-DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, 800-992-8499.

THEATERSPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.