THE EDUCATION OF RANDY NEWMAN

"Full disclosure: I left at intermission because I couldn't stand another moment of this affront of a show, which takes a huge body of songs from one of the rock era's most fascinating, prolific, underappreciated songwriters, strips them of all their soul, distills their lyrical complexity into a vague dramatic thread, and robs them of everything that makes them great." (Sean Nelson) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $37.50-$50. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun-Thurs at 7:30 pm, matinees Oct 31, Nov 3, 9, 10, 16, 17, 23, 24, 30, Dec 1 at 2 pm. Through Dec 1.

EUGENE ONEGIN

The Seattle Opera debuts its 2002/03 season with Tchaikovsky's aristocratic romance. Seattle Opera at Mercer Arts Arena, Seattle Center, 389-7676. $15-$109. Fri-Sat Nov 1-2 at 7:30 pm.

THE FOURSOME

Opening. Four former chums dye out the gray and squeeze their fat asses into their old size 31 jeans for a college reunion. Edge of the World Theatre, 9673 Firdale Ave, 542-7529. $17-$20. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm, with matinees Sat at 4 pm, no Thanksgiving performance. Through Nov 30.

THE GHOST DETECTIVE IN GOTH NOIR

Final week. Blood rites, ritual sacrifice, and big laughs over coleslaw. Mwahahahah! Northwest Murder Mysteries at Ivar's Salmon House, 401 NE Northlake Way, 491-6446. $50 with dinner. Thurs Oct 31 at 7:30 pm.

INVADERS FROM EARTH

Opening. Consolidated Works continues its multimedia exploration of duality with Invaders from Earth, Dawson Nichols' original adaptation of the eponymous pulp sci-fi novel. An interweaving triumvirate of narratives having something to do with space travel and deception. Consolidated Works, 500 Boren Ave N, 325-6500. $14. Fri-Sun at 8 pm. Through Nov 23.

KNEE DESIRES THE DIRT

See review this issue. Mirror Stage Company at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 325-6500. $10-$25. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm and 7 pm. Through Nov 10.

LES LIAISONS DANGEREUSES

Cruel Intentions, only in fancier pants. Marquise Productions at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 325-6500. $12-$15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through Nov 10.

* LOOT

See review this issue. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $27-$42. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm, 7:30 pm. Matinee Tues Nov 12 at 2 pm. Through Nov 12.

THE LOVER

Opening. Based on Ivan Turgenev's novel On the Eve, The Lover concerns the romance and revolution of young idealists just prior to the Crimean War. UW School of Drama at Meany Studio Theatre, University of Washington campus, 543-5140. $8-$12. Wed-Thurs at 7 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Nov 17.

MY LADY'S HAND

Opening. Penned by local playwright Tess Thompson Hardwick, My Lady's Hand finds a young novelist forced to cope with sudden paralysis and a collapsing marriage. Moonlight Productions at Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 325-6500. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Nov 23.

NOT IN OUR NAMES: STORIES OF RESISTANCE AND HOPE

This week only. Yes, it's as bad as it sounds--with the aid of audience stories (you provide the funny!) the Threshold Ensemble players use music, improvisation, movement, soliloquy, and pantomime (okay, I made that one up) to act out our nation's dissent. Threshold Ensemble at Seattle Waldorf School, 2728 NE 100th St, 781-3994. $10. Sat Nov 2 at 7:30 pm.

RASH

See Stranger Suggests. Lauren Weedman at Empty Space Theatre, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $10-$35, opening night $40. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun matinees at 2 pm. Through Nov 24.

DAVID SHINER IN THE ROUND

Opening. Currently in residence at ACT Theatre preparing a work for next year, Tony Award-winning professional jackass David Shiner dishes up some of the greatest hits and old standards of his popular repertoire. (Aka Now That's What I Call Shiner! Vol. 1.) ACT Theatre, 292-7676. $24.50-$29.50. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, with matinees Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through Nov 23.

THE STOPS

Opening. Tongue placed firmly in thickly blushed cheek, Dramaqueen (Seattle's new drag performance troupe) performs Eric Lane Barnes' comedy about three church organists touring the country in hesitant support of their recently outed mentor. Dramaqueen at Thumpers Oak Room, 1500 E Madison, 328-3800. $12.50. Fri-Sat at 8:30 pm. Through Nov 30.

THE TEMPEST

Opening. Shipwrecked sailors hallucinate sprites and ogres. Romantic high jinks ensue. Seattle Shakespeare Company at Seattle Center House, Seattle Center, 325-6500. $12-$24. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Nov 24.

* THE TROJAN WOMEN

Final week. Playwright Charles Mee's "adaptation" of the creepy old Greek tragedy, complete with "modern survivor stories" and show tunes. "A production pulled off with such grace and thoughtful consideration, the monologues from Holocaust and 9/11 survivors are almost indistinguishable from the original, hair-raising story. The resulting show is arty, unnerving, and completely salient. (Adrian Ryan) Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $12-$15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, matinee Sun Oct 27 at 2 pm. Through Nov 2.

* TO YOU, THE BIRDIE!

Final week. Anyone within a 200-mile radius with even a passing interest in brainy, large-scale postmodern performance would be a fool to miss To You, The Birdie! (Phedre) at On the Boards. Based on Racine's Phedre, the Wooster Group's newest is an incestuous love tragedy blending badminton, enemas, and Willem Dafoe with elements of Greek mythology and modern dance to create a show that had New York critics drooling all over themselves. Go. The Wooster Group at On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $12-$30. Fri-Thurs at 8 pm, no show Mon. Through Oct 31.

* TWO FOR THE SEESAW

"With fluid direction from Mark Dias, actors Kevin Brady and Jenna Hawkins excel in portraying this relationship in all its hollow loneliness. We see two people on stage actually creating warmth to chase off the cold absences in their lives." (Gregory Zura) IN-G Productions at Freehold's East Hall Theatre, 1529 10th Ave, second floor, 325-6500. $12. Oct 31, Nov 1, 2, 6, 7, 8 at 8 pm. Through Nov 8.

WHEN GRACE COMES IN

A senator's wife and an ex-painter's process of spiritual reawakening in the midst of a midlife crisis. "No, you're not imagining things--Heather McDonald's When Grace Comes In is confusing as hell. The imagery is thick, wet, and often sorely obvious, and at two and a half hours, the show is at least 30 minutes too long. Still, the poetry of the script and the undeniable elegance and ingenuity of its staging had me enthralled. I was drawn into the dreamy reverie and emotional urgency of [the] story, and charmed by this moving, deftly acted piece. Once I finally figured out what the heck was going on, of course." (Adrian Ryan) Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $10-$46. Sat-Sun at 2 pm and 7:30 pm, Tues-Fri at 7:30 pm. Through Nov 10.

* WHEN WE DEAD AWAKEN

A curried-goat-enhanced performance of Henrik Ibsen's final play. "With an expressionistic flair, the six actors move around on the tiny stage as if performing a modern dance--and I mean that in a good way. These playful elements, of a sort one rarely associates with Ibsen, succeed in creating a thoroughly satisfying evening of theater." (Gregory Zura) Steeplechase Productions at Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 935-8420. $29 with dinner and show, $15 show only. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, no dinner Thurs. Through Nov 9.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY


THE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO

Opening. World-renowned stringsmiths the Carter Family Marionettes play with their very expensive dolls to tell the story of the world's most famous puppet. Carter Family Marionettes at Northwest Puppet Center, 9123 15th Ave NE, 523-2579. $7.50-$9.50. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 1 pm and 3 pm. Through Nov 24.

THE CABARET OF DR. CALIGARI

One night only. I'm not too sure what a bunch of parlor magicians have to do with Robert Wiene's macabre German expressionist classic of 1919, but tonight's production features the talents of Czech magician Vaclav (alright, so he sounds a little creepy), Louie Foxx, and Professor Payne. Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. Sun Nov 3 at 7 pm.

* JELLO-A-GO-GO

Monkey Wrench Puppet Lab, the masterminds behind Suzy and Nice Nice and the ever-popular Drunk Puppet Nite, present their latest abomination of puppet theater. Monkey Wrench Puppet Lab at Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 463-4848. $4-$12. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 4 pm and 8 pm. Through Nov 9.

MACABARET

A self-proclaimed hit at this year's Fringe Festival, Macabaret revives its weary corpse for the holiday season with a song set that playfully tickles morbid fascination. Straight-Edge Theatrics at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, third floor, 632-9800. $8. Daily at 8 pm. Through Nov 9.DANCE


GROUNDWORK

This week only. A Day of the Dead-inspired collaboration uniting four local contemporary dance companies in a preview of current works in progress. BetterBiscuitDance, Birliroque, Locate, and Cheronne Wong at Chamber Theater, 915 E Pine St, fourth floor, 732-0525. $12. Fri-Sat at 7 pm and 9 pm, Sun at 7 pm.

LEFT-OUT

See review this week. Locust at Velocity MainSpace Theater, 915 E Pine, second floor, 621-9178. $12-$15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm.

SWAN LAKE

Final week. The only ballet you've ever seen in your life, remember? No, not the one with the fighting mice--the other one. Bolshoi Ballet at The Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St, 812-3284. $27-$100. Thurs-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 pm and 8 pm, Sun at 8 pm.

LATE NIGHT


MASKS CONFRONTING DEATH

This week only. A Seattle debut, the masked commedia dell'arte troupe Zanni Tutti perform improv comedy with a rib-tickling look at bereavement. Ha. Ha. Ha. Zanni Tutti at Union Garage, 1416 10th Ave, 720-1942. $5. Fri-Sat at 11 pm.

* MONEY & RUN HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

Final week. Wayne S. Rawley's serial returns in classic small-screen form. "With appearances by our familiar antiheroes, the town drunk, a mad scientist, local liquor-store khan Big Momma Bob, and fisticuffs with monsters--but description is futile. There's nothing you need to know about Money & Run except that it's reckless, raucous comedy for an appreciative clutch of devoted audience members, and you can bring your martini into the theater for a little sip-laugh-sip. Some bits fly, others flop, but nobody gives a damn. Everyone's in the house to hoot and holler late into the night." (Brendan Kiley) Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $10. Thurs-Sat at 11 pm. Through Nov 2.

SPIN THE BOTTLE

One night only. Annex Theater continues its tradition of Omnibus Monthly shows this month, featuring performances by Gregory Hischak, Valerie Mosley, Carl Sander, and many, many more. Spin the Bottle at Velocity MainSpace, 915 E Pine St, 728-0933. $7. Fri at 11 pm.