BULLSHOT CRUMMOND • Taproot Theater ESCOBAR • Theater Off Jackson MILLENNIUM CIRCUS • UMO Ensemble TARTUFFE 2000: T2K• Hyperion Theater

CLOSING THIS WEEK

*EVERYTHING IN THE GARDEN • Union Garage

*GOBLIN MARKET • ACT

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

BULLSHOT CRUMMOND--A "zany comedy" with a title that's almost a swear word, Bullshot parodies a 1930s detective serial--in the opening scene alone, an airplane crash, parachute escape, and kidnapping ensue. Taproot Theater, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. Wed & Thurs at 7:30, Fri at 8, Sat at 2 & 8, through Aug 7. $16-$22.

THE COMPLETE HISTORY OF AMERICA-- "The Complete History of America is billed as a 'completely unhinged, completely skewed, and completely hilarious' chronology of American events, beginning with Columbus' voyage and leading up to the present state of the union. What this really amounts to is wacky sketch comedy. With such a wealth of information to draw upon, and such a powerfully talented cast--Burton Curtis, Jonathan Hochberg, and Jeffrey Treadwell--I expected more. Maybe in the end American history just isn't that funny, no matter how many dick jokes and drag queens you toss in." (Adrian Ryan) Empty Space Theater, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun at 2, extended through Aug 8. $16-$25.

ESCOBAR--A dying Vietnam vet haunted by memories is visited by a young soldier who claims to be his long-lost son in this romantic "magic realist" play by Steven Barron. Escobar marks a reunited collaboration between Barron and director Victor Janusz. With Ben Di Gregorio, Diedre Kilgore, Jason Phillips, and Carter Roy. Theater Off Jackson, 409 7th Ave S, 405-2388. Wed-Sun at 8, through July 17. $14. See Calendar Box.

*EVERYTHING IN THE GARDEN--"Living far above their means in a New York suburb in the late '60s, Jenny and Richard feel the pressure mount as they learn how expensive the American Dream can be. When a mysterious woman appears, offering a quick solution to their dilemma, they must decide just how far they'll go. This is my favorite kind of theater experience--it promises little and delivers a lot. The script--written by Pulitzer Prize-winner Edward Albee--is not merely well written, but is wickedly charming, and disturbing. The cast, led by Amy Fleetwood and James Venturini, breathes life into the script, creating sympathetic and recognizable characters." (Adrian Ryan) Union Garage Performance Space, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. Thurs-Sat at 8, through July 3. $10.

FOR LORNE--Playwright Ed Hawkins, "veteran of re- invention," serves up a pastiche of TV transcripts and original dialogue centered around Bewitched''s Marion "Aunt Clara" Lorne. "I barely remember Lorne as the muddled Aunt Clara in Bewitched, but neither does Ben Stevens, our modern-guy link through the sometimes surreal but always well-threaded story of Lorne's life. Sappy, but with a humorous flamesair." (Brendan Kiley) Annex Theater, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, through July 17. $10.

*GOBLIN MARKET--Two sisters relive their youth in this ghostly adaptation of a 19th-century poem by Christina Rossetti. "Goblin Market is a shamelessly indulgent feast for the senses, with strings and lush voices, curtains of saturated light, billowing fabric and burbling water, dances to the cadence of uneven meter, and the persistent, over-determined images of cherries strung around virginal throats and ripened fruit poised at hungry young lips. This production, further enriched by strong performances from Beth DeVries as Laura and Rachel Luttrell as Lizzie, is unabashedly theatrical, and a welcome response to the 'talking head' performance trend." (Tonia Steed) The Falls Theater at ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, some matinees, through July 4. $10-$40.

THE LAST NIGHT OF BALLYHOO--By the author of Driving Miss Daisy, another heart-warming commentary on social hierarchy, this time set among prosperous Jews in 1939 debutante Atlanta. "The Last Night of Ballyhoo is basically a Southern-fried, politically aware Brighton Beach Memoirs, which is to say it's funny, warmly familial, and wears its intentions brightly on its sleeve (where a play with more depth might have woven darker colors into the fabric). It's mass-market social consciousness, which bothers some people but is just fine by me; if large, moneyed groups of people are enticed to spend an evening considering the difficulties of being different, then a theater is doing its job." (Steve Wiecking) Intiman Theater, Seattle Center, 269-1900. Sun, Tues, Wed at 7, Thurs-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun at 2, through July 10. $10-$39.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM--And the nun goes on. Somebody really likes cute Catholics. This is an evening of audience participation and interactive improv theater: think Sister Windy crossed with Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All for You. ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, extended for eternity. $24.50-$29.50.

*MILLENNIUM CIRCUS--40,000 square feet of hangar space inspires the UMO Ensemble's newest (and largest ever) creation, promising elements such as bungee jumping, a suspended aerial ballet, and flamesaming angels, surrounding the audience on all sides. Bring on the next century! Sand Point Naval Base, 463-2128. Thurs-Sun at 8, through Aug 15. $10-$15.

OF ME I SING, BABY!--Tom Orr is the clever-as-a-fox, nasty-as-a-porn-star lyricist behind last year's super-smash parody musical, Dirty Little Showtunes!. Now he goes it alone in this one-man musical revue. "For all of its homoerotic sexploitation and perhaps misplaced bravado, Of Me I Sing, Baby, is one heck of a fun show. With a blend of overwhelming confidence, lighthearted (and often lewd) anecdotes, and sheer force of will, Orr makes his life story entertaining enough to keep audience members firmly ensconced in their seats." (Adrian Ryan) Re-bar, 1114 Howell (at Boren), 323-0388. Fri-Sun at 8, open-ended run. $12/$10.

*POONA THE FUCKDOG--"Poona reinvents every social cliché as if it were a naughty and very funny joke told by an intelligent kindergartner. It is smart, bold, and insightful, poignant without being preachy, and meaningful without being sappy. Written by Jeff Goode and directed by Basil Harris, Poona the Fuckdog is two hours of theater magic that will go down in infamy." (Adrian Ryan) Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. Thurs-Sat at 8, extended through Sat July 17. $10/$12.

TARTUFFE 2000: T2K--Moliere's tale of obsession and swindling is reset for the millennium in Hyperion Theater's update, which casts TV evangelists, high-tech yuppies, and California movie producers in the traditional parts, and promises "pungent and satirical comedy." Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 781-0022. Tues-Thurs & Sun at 7:30; Fri-Sat at 8, through July 18. $12.50.

FESTIVALS, CABARETS, & COMEDY

JULIE CASCIOPPO EXPERIENCE--Songs and characters you may grow to love. The Pink Door, Pike Place Market, 1919 Post Alley, 443-3241. Tues at 8:30 & 11. No cover.

MY ROMANCE--Classic love songs by artists such as Leonard Bernstein, Lorenz Hart, and Cole Porter are presented with a twist--as sung to the same sex!--in this cabaret-style revue featuring local musical talent. On The Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. Wed-Sun at 8, through July 18. $23-$26.

THE PROM REUNION--The folks at Richard (Dick) Ultimate High School have decided to restage their 1970s prom, and you can be a part of it. Interactive theater in the style of Tony & Tina's Wedding, food included. Phinney Ridge Neighborhood Center, Community Hall, Lower Level, 6532 Phinney Ave N, 628-0888. Sat at 6:30, through the end of summer. $55/$45.

*TEATRO ZINZANNI--Three hours of fancy food and thrilling spectacle from the world over, presented in an antique European dance hall imported from Belgium for the occasion. Worth the price just to watch local wonder Kevin Kent work his jaw-dropping magic on crowds who've never set foot in a fringe theater. Seattle Center, 222 Mercer St, 281-7788 ext 700 or 292-ARTS. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 6:30, extended through Sept 8. $88.

LATE NIGHT

THE A.M. CABARET--Amoral entertainment for insomniacs; promising naked poetry, music, strippers, and drag queens. You may think you're dreaming. Coffee Messiah, 1554 E Olive Way, 860-7377. Sat from 2-4 am. $5.

THE HABIT--Addictive sketch comedy that mainlines musical oddities and parodies of commercials, fresh from the Fringe Festival. Annex Theater, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. Fri-Sat at 11, except July 2, through July 16. $5.

JET CITY IMPROV--Improv comedy and music based on audience suggestions. Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. Fri-Sat at 10:30.

SPIN THE BOTTLE--Annex's late-night performance is a slumgullion of juggling, dance, singing, and silhouettes, cultivated by the finely tuned Bret Fetzer. Annex Theater, 1916 Fourth Ave, 729-0933. First Friday of every month. No reservations. $5.

THEATER SPORTS--Improv comedy with a competitive edge, brought to you by Unexpected Productions. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Fri-Sat at 10:30, $9. Sun at 7, $5.

CALLS

BELLEVUE PHILHARMONIC--Auditions for the 1999-2000 season will be held in July for the following positions: Section Violin I, Section Violin II, Section Viola (4 positions), Section Cello, Oboe II, Clarinet I, Clarinet II, Bassoon I, Horn III, Trumpet I & III. Send resumes to: Personnel Manager, Bellevue Philharmonic, P.O. Box 1582, Bellevue, WA 98009-1582 or fax 425-455-9170.

CIVIC LIGHT OPERA--Children's auditions for Oliver to be held July 26 & 27 from 3-6 pm. Call 363-4807 to make an appointment.

PIECE OF MEAT THEATER--Looking for an experienced videographer/filmmaker to collaborate on an upcoming video project this summer. Call 860-3152 for more information.

PLAYBACK THEATER N.W.--Seeking improvisational actors. Men, people of color, those over 30 with heart and intuition are encouraged to audition on Wed July 7 and 14 from 9 am to 11:30 am. Call 726-1415.