OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS


* CLAUDIA KELLY'S 500 HATS

The return of Donna Rae Davidson's (Women with Balls) Fringe Fest crowd-pleaser (hell, even Adrian Ryan liked it) about a woman with an obsessive compulsion to purchase, own, and wear hats. Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 325-6500. $16-$22. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Sat at 2 pm June 21-July 12. Through July 12.

BREATHING LESSONS

Book-It takes a trip into the matrimonially mundane with an adaptation of Anne Tyler's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel. Book-It at Seattle Center House Theatre, 305 Harrison St, 216-0833. $19-$22. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 29.

CARDENIO

Shakespearean tragedy, with maidens. Directed by Melanie White. A Theatre Under the Influence at Union Garage Performance Center, 1416 10th Ave, 720-1942. $12-$14. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 6 pm. Through June 28.

GOD'S MAN IN TEXAS

Final week. "With the dramatic sensibilities of a good episode of Highway to Heaven, God's Man in Texas explores the sin many of us have committed at one time or another--ambition. Despite some good performances (Jeff Berryman's, in particular), the show provides absolutely no surprises. With its all-too-pat setup buried under so many safe Christian jokes, overly long examinations of Bible passages, and jokes about former President Bill Clinton (!), the show ultimately offers little beyond disappointment." (Gregory Zura) Taproot Theatre, 204 85th St, 781-9707. $16-$26. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through June 14.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

"Tossing together a mess of random scenes (I counted seven) under the almost eye-rollingly broad theme of 'relationships' isn't the freshest of ideas, and threatens to produce a night of theater as boringly predictable as a bag of bricks. Still, some smart people here took this potential minefield of clichés and transformed it into a unique and curious something that was decidedly not cliché." (Adrian Ryan) In-g Productions at Northwest Actors Studio Cabaret Space, 1100 E Pike St, 938-1100. $12. Fri-Sun June 13-15, 20-21 at 8 pm. Through June 21.

* GONE ARE THE DAYS....

See review this issue. Consolidated Works, 500 Boren Ave N, 325-6500. $12-$15. Fri-Sat at 8 and 10 pm. Through June 21.

IN FLAGRANTE GOTHICTO

Opening. Armed with an award-winning script by former Annex all-stars Jillian Armenante and Alice Dodd, Empty Space shreds the gothic romance classics, tapes the whole mess back together, and sets it to a laugh track. Empty Space Theatre, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $25-$40. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm. Through July 20.

IN THE WAKE

"In the Wake is a big piece of crap. Steaming. With a plastic cherry on top." (Brendan Kiley) Golden Fish Theatre at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 325-6500. $10-$15. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 21.

IPHIGENIA

Opening. Poet's Theater presents a modern adaptation of two plays by Euripides. The Poet's Theater at Center House Theatre 4, Seattle Center, 335-5132. $8. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through July 5.

THE LARAMIE PROJECT

Final week. Moises Kaufman's popular documentary theater piece, chronicling the journey of an intrepid group of actors to the American Midwest, where they annoy the locals by doing vocal warm-ups in the parking lot of Sizzler. Seattle Central Drama Department at the Little Theater off Broadway, 1524 Harvard Ave, 325-6500. $10-$15. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 3 pm. Through June 15.

LIGHT IN THE PIAZZA

Opening. See preview this issue. Intiman, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $35.50-$45. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm. Through July 19.

MAMMA MIA!

Opening. The girl-meets-boy musical wedding extravaganza, set to the greatest hits of ABBA. Yes, you have died and gone to Heaven. Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St, 628-1414. $31-$65.50. Tues-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm. Through June 29.

MURDER AT CRAGGY ROCK

Opening. A Wild West musical-mystery-comedy set to steak, featuring characters with names like Slappy, Hap Hazard, El Gatito, and Fifi. Northwest Murder Mysteries at Crepe de Paris, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. $45-$47. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 2.

* ONDINE

See Stranger Suggests. Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. $15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through June 21.

QUICKIES VOL. 4

Opening. As the titular double entendre suggests, Quickies is an evening of short plays, which all happened to be authored by members of the fairer sex. Live Girls! Theatre, 620 Alaskan Way, second floor, 568-1985. $15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Mon June 23 at 8 pm. Through June 29.

* THE SEAGULL

"Visualize Chekhov. What do you see? Droning dialogue? Delicate dramatic splendor? Either way, ditch the theater-major clichés and hustle on down to Theater Schmeater for some reeducation. Swapping Russian vodka and horses for Californian pot and SUVs, local playwright Wayne S. Rawley and his stellar cast inject some funny into this generally glum classic devoted to theater's three Fs--false love, frustrated ambition, and fucked-up family." (Brendan Kiley) Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $12-$15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 21.

THE SHAKESPEARE STEALER

Final week. Based on the children's novel, director Rita Giomi's presentation of an Elizabethan tale of friendship and theft. Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St, 441-3322. $12-$26. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30 pm. Through June 15.

* STARBALL

Solo performer John Kaufmann returns with his stab at combining Jungian theory, astronomy, and dramatic performance in this act of planetary spectacle. John Kaufmann at Pacific Science Center's Smith Planetarium, Seattle Center, 634-9018. $8-$12. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 8 and 10 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through July 13.

YANKEE DAWG YOU DIE

Opening. Philip Kan Gotanda's race riff on the dilemma facing Asian actors forced to sacrifice their ethnic integrity for a paycheck. Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 543-4635. $7-$12. Wed-Sun at 8 pm, except Sun June 22 at 2 pm. Through June 22.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY


12 MINUTES MAX

This week only. Now in its 24th year, On the Boards' artist-friendly, time-sensitive performance showcase 12 Minutes Max has grown into a veritable rite of passage for up 'n' coming Northwest performers--be they writers, dancers, or wonderfully entertaining freaks. This month's installment offers Stephen Fandrich, Annie Lareau, Joe Von Appen, Shawna Wilson, and Lisa Sanphillippo, among others. On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $7. Sun-Mon June 15-16 at 7 pm.

* BFL: TV SHOW

"To be frank, the shit ain't Shakespeare, and it's not supposed to be. It's supposed to be quick, surprising, and clever. And Bald Faced Lie got most of that right. This is a terrific cast--Evan Mosher, Kirk Anderson, Ian Bell, and of course Peggy [Gannon] and Karen [Gruber]--who provide as much frantic and furious funny as a good episode of SNL." (Adrian Ryan) Bald Faced Lie at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030. $10. Fri-Sat at 10:30 pm. Through June 21.

THE BROADS OF BROADWAY

Opening. Though it's not clear if Broads is a drag show, the presence of divas belting show tunes clearly has its target audience pinned. Thumper's Cabaret, 1500 E Madison, 328-3800. Sat at 9 pm. Through June 28.

CHINA DOLLS

"Hmmm... you're a middle-aged, middle-class, middlebrow closeted homosexual in town for business, and you'd like to find a revue that indulges your persistent and inexplicable desire to watch strident, self-congratulatory drag queens and drama-school dropouts belt out show tunes without a trace of irony. Well, fasten your seat belt--have I got a show for you!" (Tamara Paris) Wait... what? Productions at Standard Lounge, 527 S Main St, 605-6033. $18-$25. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, late-night performance Saturdays at 10:30 pm. Through June 29.

COMEDY COURT

Opening. Improv comedy in a courtroom setting. Motion denied. Comedy Court at Odd Duck Studios, 1214 10th Ave, 442-2044. $10. Sat at 8 pm. Through June 29.

THE HABETTE

See review this issue. The Habit at Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $11. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 28.

TINA KIM

One night only. Tenacious comedienne Kim presents an evening of standup with a range of topics including "growing up in America and wanting to be white," "karaoke obsessed parents," and "meeting dumb guys." Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 325-6500. $15. Wed June 18 at 8 pm.

RAZZLETOWN UNLIMITED CABARET

A loose-knit vaudevillian cabaret directed by Keith Dahlgren. Rendezvous, 3220 Second Ave, 441-5823. $12-$15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 4 pm. Through June 29.

SOLO SHORTS

This week only. VIA Play Lab presents an evening of the longwinded, with contemporary monologues by up-and-coming regional playwrights such as Vanessa DeBolf, Yussef El Guindi, Stephanie Timm, and Amy Wheeler, among others. VIA at R.E.D. Performance Space, 89 Yesler Way, third floor, 405-1612. $7. Thurs-Sat June 12-14 at 8 pm.

STORY SLAM

One night only. Theatrical storytelling featuring "the stories that you search for at dinner parties," whatever that means. Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. $4. Mon June 16 at 7 pm.

TRAIN OF THOUGHT > AIRPORT

Seattle's latest sketch comedy troupe, Train of Thought, joins forces with Wing-It for an improv set about, um, airports. Wing-It Productions at the Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 240-6937. $7-$8. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 21.

DANCE


BENEATH THE SKIN

Final week. A bunch of dancers--with their dancer bodies--trying to tell me how beauty is only skin deep. XODO Dance Productions at Chamber Theatre in the Odd Fellows Building, 915 E Pine St, fourth floor, 972-3396. $10. Thurs-Sun at 8 pm. Through June 14.

DOUBLE DOWN

Final week. See review this issue. Crispin Spaeth Dance Group at Velocity MainSpace Theatre, 915 E Pine St, second floor, 325-6500. $12-$16. Fri-Sun at 8 pm. Through June 15.

LATE NIGHT


THE TWILIGHT ZONE

The cash cow returns... and it's thirsty for blood! Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $10. Thurs-Sat at 11 pm. Through June 21.

EVENTS


GEMINI PARTY

This week only. Celebrating the sign of the season, Steeplechase presents a cabaret of staged scenes with dinner. Steeplechase Productions at Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki SW, 935-8420. $29. Fri-Sat June 13-14 at 6:30 pm.

* OTB RUMMAGE EXOTICA SALE

This week only. On the Board cleans out the attic for a three-day fundraiser/crap-fest full of vintage stuff and other junky delights. (Last time they had one of these, a friend of mine got a whole box of bow ties for $10.) On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 317-9886. $10 on Fri, 6-9 pm. Free Sat, 10 am-4 pm, and Sun, 10 am-2 pm.

LONG RUNS
BROADVILLE CARNIVAL at Cafe Venus, 624-4516.

CABARET: THE ResERECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.

* THE HOKUM SHOW at Hokum Hall, 937-3613.

JET CITY IMPROV at Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 781-3879.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at ACT, 292-7676.

QUEER AS A THREE-DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, 800-992-8499.

TEATRO ZINZANNI at 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015.

THEATRESPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.