* CLAUDIA KELLY'S 500 HATS
The return of Donna Rae Davidson's (Women with Balls) Fringe Fest crowd-pleaser about a woman with an obsessive compulsion to purchase, own, and wear hats. The Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 325-6500. $16-$22. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through July 12.
BREATHING LESSONS
Book-It takes a trip into the matrimonially mundane with an adaptation of Anne Tyler's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel. Book-It at Seattle Center House Theatre, 305 Harrison St, 216-0833. $19-$22. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 29.
CARDENIO
Shakespearean tragedy, with maidens. Directed by Melanie White. A Theatre Under the Influence at Union Garage Performance Center, 1416 10th Ave, 720-1942. $12-$14. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 6 pm. Through June 28.
FREEHOLD'S ENSEMBLE TRAINING INTENSIVE PRESENTS SHAKESPEARE
Opening. In the culmination of Freehold's concentrated theatrical training course, the Ensemble Training Intensive presents The Tempest and Twelfth Night. ETI at Freehold Studio/Theatre Lab, 1525 10th Ave, 323-7499. $10. See www.freeholdtheatre.org for specific dates and times.
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY
Final week. "The almost eye-rollingly broad theme of 'relationships' isn't the freshest of ideas, but still, some smart people here took this potential minefield of clichés and transformed it into a unique and curious something that was decidedly not cliché. " (Adrian Ryan) In-g Productions at Northwest Actors Studio Cabaret Space, 1100 E Pike St, 938-1100. $12. Fri-Sat June 20-21 at 8 pm. Through June 21.
* GONE ARE THE DAYS...
Final week. "It seems like several brilliant people spent too little time on too big a project, giving us a really stellar work in progress. Gone, despite its rough edges, carries a bright promise, pushing performance in an inventive new direction. " (Brendan Kiley) Consolidated Works, 500 Boren Ave N, 325-6500. $12-$15. Fri-Sat at 8 and 10 pm. Through June 21.
IN FLAGRANTE GOTHICTO
Armed with an award-winning script by former Annex all-stars Jillian Armenante and Alice Dodd, Empty Space shreds the gothic romance classics, tapes the whole mess back together, and sets it to a laugh track. Empty Space Theatre, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $25-$40. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm. Through July 20.
IN THE WAKE
Final week. "In the Wake is a big piece of crap. Steaming. With a plastic cherry on top. " (Brendan Kiley) Golden Fish Theatre at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 325-6500. $10-$15. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 21.
IPHIGENIA
Poet's Theater presents a modern adaptation of two plays by Euripides. The Poet's Theater at Center House Theatre 4, Seattle Center, 335-5132. $8. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through July 5.
* LIGHT IN THE PIAZZA
See review this issue. See Stranger Suggests. Intiman, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $35.50-$45. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm. Through July 19.
LUDIKER
Opening. Comic actor Fred Knipe ("the speaker of choice for the nation's largest law firms!") presents his debut solo show, as Merlin F. Ludiker, a self-help lecturer and misguided "expert on all things." Solo Voce Productions at the Leo K Theatre, Seattle Center, Mercer St at Second Ave, 325-6500. $20. Opens Fri June 20, runs Wed-Sun at 7:30 pm. Through July 13.
MAMMA MIA!
The girl-meets-boy musical wedding extravaganza, set to the greatest hits of ABBA. Yes, you have died and gone to Heaven. Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St, 628-1414. $31-$65.50. Tues-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm. Through June 29.
MURDER AT CRAGGY ROCK
A Wild West musical-mystery-comedy set to steak, featuring characters with names like Slappy, Hap Hazard, El Gatito, and Fifi. Northwest Murder Mysteries at Crepe de Paris, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. $45-$47. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 2.
* ONDINE
Final week. "Concerning the doomed love of a water sprite for a hunky, if stupid, knight-errant, Ondine skewers human cruelty, lust, power relations, social conventions, and class snobbery--and this excellent, original adaptation of Ondine by director Sean McEnaney deftly negotiates the textual tension between Giraudoux's punchy wit and elevated language. Go see it." (Brendan Kiley) Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. $15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through June 21.
QUICKIES VOL. 4
See review this issue. Live Girls! Theatre, 620 Alaskan Way, second floor, 568-1985. $15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Mon at 8 pm. Through June 29.
SABOTAGE
One night only. Annex Theatre plays pimp in a celebrity date auction with a twist-a dating game manipulated by the pocketbooks of the audience. Featuring the willing flesh of Evan Mosher, Sarah Rudinoff, Reggie Watts, Nick Garrison, and the Stranger's own editorial minx Min Liao. Get it while it's cheap. Get it while it's hot. Annex Theatre at Union Garage Theatre, 1418 10th Ave, 728-0933. $10. Fri at 9 pm.
SAME TIME, NEXT YEAR
Bernard Slade's indestructible romantic comedy about a 26-year-old illicit indiscretion. The Edmonds Driftwood Players at Wade James Theatre, 950 Main St, Edmonds, 425-774-9600. $16-$18. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 29.
* THE SEAGULL
"Swapping Russian vodka and horses for Californian pot and SUVs, local playwright Wayne S. Rawley and his stellar cast inject some funny into this generally glum classic devoted to theater's three Fs--false love, frustrated ambition, and fucked-up family. " (Brendan Kiley) Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $12-$15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 28.
* STARBALL
Solo performer John Kaufmann returns with his stab at combining Jungian theory, astronomy, and dramatic performance in this act of planetary spectacle. John Kaufmann at Pacific Science Center's Smith Planetarium, Seattle Center, 634-9018. $8-$12. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 8 and 10 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through July 13.
YANKEE DAWG YOU DIE
Final week. Philip Kan Gotanda's race riff on the dilemma facing Asian actors forced to sacrifice their ethnic integrity for a paycheck. Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 543-4635. $7-$12. Wed-Sun at 8 pm, except Sun June 22 at 2 pm. Through June 22.
FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY
* BAT-N-ROUGE
One day only. God knows we don't have a sports section in this fine rag, so with the lack of a better place to shove this, it ends up in the theater section: It's the Drag Queens vs. the Dykes in the softball battle of the summer! Bobby Morris Playfield, 11th Ave and Pine St. $5. Sun June 22 at 1 pm.
* BFL: TV SHOW
Final week. "This is a terrific cast--Evan Mosher, Kirk Anderson, Ian Bell, and of course Peggy [Gannon] and Karen [Gruber]--who provide as much frantic and furious funny as a good episode of SNL." (Adrian Ryan) Bald Faced Lie at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030. $10. Fri-Sat at 10:30 pm. Through June 21.
THE BROADS OF BROADWAY
Though it's not clear if Broads is a drag show, the presence of divas belting show tunes clearly has its target audience pinned. Thumper's Cabaret, 1500 E Madison, 328-3800. Sat at 9 pm. Through June 28.
CHINA DOLLS
"A revue that indulges your persistent and inexplicable desire to watch strident, self-congratulatory drag queens and drama-school dropouts belt out show tunes without a trace of irony." (Tamara Paris) Wait... what? Productions at Standard Lounge, 527 S Main St, 605-6033. $18-$25. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, late-night performance Sat at 10:30 pm. Through June 29.
COMEDY COURT
Improv comedy in a courtroom setting. Motion denied. Comedy Court at Odd Duck Studios, 1214 10th Ave, 442-2044. $10. Sat at 8 pm. Through June 29.
* THE EXORCIST
This week only. See Stranger Suggests. Bald Faced Lie at Re-bar, 1114 Howell St. $10. Mon-Wed June 23-25 at 8 pm.
A FAIRIE HOME COMPANION
Dos Fallopia's Lisa Koch leads the Seattle Lesbian and Gay Chorus through an evening of unabashed gayness by way of what is perhaps the nexus of all homosexuality--the cabaret. The Seattle Lesbian and Gay Chorus at Plymouth Congregational Church, Sixth Ave and University St, 860-7542. $12-$16. Fri at 7:30 pm. Through June 27.
THE HABETTE
"I'd be a jerk if I didn't point out that The Habette offers a modicum of amusement. These actresses boast both comedic talent and well-above-average booty-dancing skills. They just haven't worked out their chemistry. Or their baritones. " (Adrian Ryan) The Habit at Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $11. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 28.
MATERIAL GIRLS COMEDY SHOW
One night only. Standup without the kickstand, as an array of comediennes volley for the slim laughs of a minimum-drink-fueled audience. The Comedy Underground, 222 S Main St, 628-0303. $6. Tues at 8:30 pm.
* THE NEW GAY SHOW
One night only. Little Theatre rings in this year's pride celebration with something a little left of the Abercrombie & Fitch crowd--an evening of "the New Gay," with performances by Eva Los Vegas, members of Olympia's brilliant dyke rap duo Scream Club, and the oddly iconic Nomy Lamm. Little Theatre, 610 19th Ave E, 329-2629. Sliding scale. Wed at 8 pm.
RAZZLETOWN UNLIMITED CABARET
A loose-knit vaudevillian cabaret directed by Keith Dahlgren. Rendezvous, 3220 Second Ave, 441-5823. $12-$15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 4 pm. Through June 29.
SUMMER CAMP
One night only. The monthly performance-art cabaret Prostituting Genius rolls out the bug spray and awkward adolescence in a tribute to the most torturous of experience of every childhood, featuring appearances by Chris Mathews, John Ackerman, and the Fuzzy Monkeys. Thumb on Forehead Productions at Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 442-2044. $8. Fri June 20 at 8:30 pm.
TRAIN OF THOUGHT > AIRPORT
Final week. Seattle's latest sketch comedy troupe, Train of Thought, joins forces with Wing-It for an improv set about, um, airports. Wing-It Productions at the Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 240-6937. $7-$8. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 21.
DANCE
* INTIMATE STAGE
This week only. Dappin' Butoh Artistic Director Joan Laage performs confrontational dance works in a living room near you. Intimate Stage at a home in Green Lake, 2353 N 64th St, 526-5756. $12. Sat June 21 at 8 pm, Sun June 22 at 7 pm.
* 2003 GUEST ARTIST SERIES
One week only. Local gals 33 Fainting Spells square up with Los Angeles choreographer Victoria Marks in this year's installment of Velocity's artist-in-residency series--focused on the medium of dance film. Velocity MainSpace Theater, 915 E Pine St, second floor, 325-8773 ext 2. $10-$14. Fri-Sun June 20-22 at 8 pm.
WAIT, HUMM
This week only. With the aid of experimental light and sound design composed of the theater's natural light and surroundings, choreographer Sheri Cohen explores sensory reception and perception in her latest. Sheri Cohen at Chamber Theater, 915 E Pike St, fourth floor, 914-4161. $14. Fri-Sat June 20-21 at 8 pm and 10 pm, Sun June 22 at 8 pm.
LATE NIGHT
THE TWILIGHT ZONE
The cash cow returns... and it's thirsty for blood! Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $10. Thurs-Sat at 11 pm. Through June 28.
LONG RUNS
* THE HOKUM SHOW at Hokum Hall, 937-3613.
JET CITY IMPROV at Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 781-3879.
TEATRO ZINZANNI See review this issue. 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015.
