* ABUNDANCE
Final week. On the Boards imports Marty Pottenger's "multimedia, community-based work" Abundance, exploring the prismatic question "What is enough?". On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $22. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Dec 6.
ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE
One night only. Wooden O Theatre Productions invites you to "hobnob with the hoi polloi" (I think they mean "literati," but who knows, you might have to be content with hobnobbing amongst yourselves) at this benefit for Shakespeare in the Parks. Youth Theatre Northwest, 8805 SE 40th St, Mercer Island, 931-3516. $20. Mon Dec 8 at 7:30 pm.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER
Opening. Two punks wreak good-natured havoc on a hidebound Christmas institution. Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 524-1300. $10-$18. Thurs-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 28.
BLACK NATIVITY
Intiman remounts its always-excellent production of Langston Hughes' beloved "gospel song play," directed by Jacqueline Moscou and starring the Total Experience Gospel Choir. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $10-$64. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat at 2 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm. Through Dec 28.
THE CARROLLS OF QUEEN ANNE
Taproot Theatre Company images Seattle as a site of Victorian sophistication. Taproot Theatre Company, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $18-$28. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through Dec 27.
* CAUCASIAN CHALK CIRCLE
See Stranger Suggests. A pared-down vision of Bertolt Brecht's King Solomon parable. Theater simple at Freehold's East Hall Theatre, 1529 10th Ave, 325-6500. $10-$15. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through Dec 6.
A CHRISTMAS CAROL
ACT remounts its always-excellent rendition of Dickens' Yuletide-learning-and-growing classic for the 98th year in a row. ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $14-$36. Fri at 7 pm, Sat at 2 and 7 pm, Sun at 1 and 4 pm, Tues-Wed at 6 and 8:30 pm. Through Dec 27.
* THE CRUMPLE ZONE
Final week. Buddy Thomas' Crumple Zone follows the confused love lives of five gay men in Staten Island. "Five lovesick fags come crashing together in a splashy/flashy/über-trashy holiday montage of ennui, ass-sex, and way too much tinsel on that ironic damn aluminum Christmas tree. And somehow all of this makes for an adorable night of theater. " (Adrian Ryan) Capitol Hill Arts Center, 1621 12th Ave, 568-8585. $12-$22. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Dec 6.
THE EIGHT: REINDEER MONOLOGUES
Opening. Don't come expecting Rudolph. From the writer of Poona the Fuckdog comes this holiday alterna-classic. Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 323-4250. $12-$14. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through Dec 20.
* FAR AWAY
Extended. See profile above. New City presents Caryl Churchill's tale of a woman coming of age. New City Warehouse, 2110 Airport Way S, 271-4430. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Dec 13.
THE GINGERBREAD BOY
Opening. The boy cookie is the father of the man cookie. Thistle Theatre at Crown Hill Elementary, 9250 14th Ave NW, 524-3388. $7-$9. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 1 and 3 pm. Through Dec 28.
GINGERBREAD MAN
A group of cleverly personified kitchen utensils face an ungodly, molasses-infused threat to their secure way of life. Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St, 441-3322. $12-$26. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30 pm. Through Dec 21.
HOLIDAY XXX
Opening. Last year, the Live Girls! fly-playwriting challenge yielded some good, some bad, and no real porn to speak of. Expect the same. Live Girls! Theater, 620 Alaskan Way, 568-1985. $10. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Mon at 8 pm. Through Dec 13.
* THE HOUSE OF YES
Final week. Wendy MacLeod's Hollywood quipfest of affluence, insanity, and murder. "The House of Yes was simply made for the theater (literally and figuratively); incest, raving lunatics in pink pillbox hats, loaded guns going off--there are more fabulous reasons to see this show live than you can shake a vintage magnum of Liebfraumilch at. " (Adrian Ryan) Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $12-15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 7.
THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE
An old wardrobe becomes a portal and Christ becomes a lion in this ambitious staging of C. S. Lewis' Jesus-freak classic. Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $12-$30. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30 pm. Through Jan 11.
LITTLE BASTARDS
Final week. Cornish alumni present a new play by Max Moore, chronicling the fantastic adventures of contentious white-trash siblings. Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 324-1062. Thurs at 8 pm, Fri at 9 pm, Sat-Sun at 8 pm. Through Dec 7.
OVER THE MOON
Final week. Steven Dietz (Go, Dog. Go!) adapts P. G. Wodehouse with a convoluted story of love, lies, and familial entanglements set in 1920s Greenwich Village. "Nestled in Over the Moon are a handful of crystalline moments, when a perfectly calibrated turn of phrase gets delivered with either effortless grace or surly aplomb, and you just have to laugh. Those moments are pretty great. There are, maybe, six or seven of them. The rest of this production is about as ham-fisted, overblown, and just plain clumsy as one can imagine." (Bret Fetzer) Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $15-$32. Thurs-Fri at 7:30 pm. Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm. Through Dec 6.
PARTY
The stupidest gay play ever. "Party is the long, drawn-out gay porn flick you never wanted to see, live. The production is lacking in almost everything, save clichés and predictability. " (Adrian Ryan) Gaydar Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 267-2750. $25. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 7 and 10 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through Dec 7.
* PULP VIXENS IN INNOCENT HEAT AND DERAILED DESIRES
Local comedy heroines Pulp Vixens bring two lesbian pulp-inspired comedies to the Re-bar. "Fantasy and reality intermingle in a clever, snappy, fun, and funny montage of Mystery Train meets Melissa Etheridge--somehow making boisterous breast-grabbing seem so fun, I almost wanted to jump up onstage and join in. Almost. " (Adrian Ryan) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $12. Sun at 8 pm. Through Dec 28.
RADIO CITY CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR
Final week. "It's difficult to isolate the point where this show stops being bizarre and enchanting, like an Old Navy commercial, and the suffering begins. " (Meg van Huygen) The Rockettes at Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St, 628-1414. $22.50-$59.50. Thurs at 1 and 7 pm; Fri at 1, 5, and 8 pm; Sat at 11 am, 2 pm, 5 pm, and 8 pm; Sun at noon, 3:30 pm, and 7 pm. Through Dec 7.
RED RANGER CAME CALLING
Opening. A new musical adaptation of Berkeley "Bloom County" Breathed's children's Christmas story, starring Stephen "Owen Meany" Hando! Book-It Repertory Theatre, Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 216-0833. $15-$26. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 28.
sCARRIE: THE MUSICAL
Plug. It. Up. "All of the elements for a rip-roaring good time have been dutifully checked off the list--so why was the whole thing such a snooze? The heaviest burden rests with a director and a cast having such a good time camping it up that they neglect to make the bits tight, the timing right, or the songs on key. " (Tamara Paris) Ghost Light Theatricals at Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. $17. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 8 and 10:30 pm. Through Dec 13.
A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE
Tennessee Williams' timeless classic of abusive Polacks, drunken whores, and love letters yellowing with antiquity. "The world has probably seen more compelling productions of A Streetcar Named Desire, but with adequate performances and a historical set, this version is a fine way to fill any lingering gaps in your education." (Brendan Kiley) Theatre Babylon at Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $10. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through Dec 20.
TWISTED OLIVIA
The esteemed Everett Quinton graces Seattle with his Dickens-twisting solo show Twisted Olivia. Empty Space Theatre, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $10-$40. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm, Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm. Through Jan 10.
VOICES OF CHRISTMAS
"The problem with overt multiculturalism in art is that it tends to produce work that is shallow and boring--all veneer and no substance. I bring this up because self-conscious multiculturalism is the only thing that keeps Voices of Christmas from being a more professional version of the Christmas carol revue you can catch at any elementary school. A song from South Africa, an anecdote from France, a Hanukkah medley--you get the idea. It's a well-executed bit of fluff with nice singing, nice anecdotes, nice actors. It's just a big ball of nice--warm, fuzzy, and bland. I would have preferred a whole show dedicated to Christmas in South Africa or Wales or Detroit, but this is the multi-culti production's 20th sell-out season, so what the hell do I know?" (Brendan Kiley) ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $10-$15. Tues-Sun at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 3 pm. Through Dec 24.
THE WIZARD OF OZ
Adapted from the movie, this new production features Laurence Ballard as the Cowardly Lion. 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave, 292-2787. $18-$64. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 1 and 7 pm, Tues-Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 21.
FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY
DECK THE HALL WITH BROADS OF BROADWAY
Talented people sing brassy Christmas numbers in a small room while you eat. Mad Dog Productions at Crepe de Paris, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. $55. Sun-Thurs at 8 pm, Fri-Sat at 8:30 pm. Through Dec 31.
HAUL OUT THE HOLLY
Now in its 25th year, the beloved Seattle Men's Chorus (every member of which is gay as a whistle) presents another shamelessly schmaltzy night of holiday songs. Seattle Men's Chorus at Benaroya Hall, 323-2992. $15.50-$50. Sun at 8 pm. Through Dec 23.
* AN INTIMATE DINA MARTINA CHRISTMAS
See Stranger Suggests. The worship-worthy chanteuse takes it down a notch with this intimate cabaret in the round. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $15. Wed at 8 pm. Through Dec 24.
DANCE
MIXER 2: SOLOS
One weekend only. A mini-festival of contemporary dance solos. Crispin Spaeth Dance Group at Oddfellows Hall, 915 E Pine, fourth floor, 325-2322. $10-$12. Program A (with Amy O'Neal and others): Thurs at 8 pm, Fri-Sat at 9:30 pm. Program B (with Amy Turner and others): Fri-Sun at 7:30 pm.
THE NUTCRACKER
The evergreen holiday classic, gussied up with Maurice Sendak's genius design. Pacific Northwest Ballet at McCaw Hall, 321 Mercer St, 441-2424. $17-$94. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 1 and 5:30 pm. Through Dec 28.
LATE NIGHT
BRENT OR BRENDA?
Opening. Scot Augustson penned this cheery Christmas story of a (you guessed it) transvestite named Brent--sure to warm the cockles like a fine mulled wine. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 352-1777. Thurs-Sat at 10 pm. Through Dec 27.
* CARLOTTA'S LATE NIGHT HOLIDAY WING-DING
Opening. The delightful alter ego of Troy Mink offers a sampling of holiday delights. Ursa Major Theatre at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, third floor, 325-6500. $8-$10. Fri-Sat at 10:30 pm. Through Dec 20.
GIRLS BENEFITING GIRLS
One night only. Bizarrely, you're going to have to choose between two all-female improv troupes this weekend (see below). NorthWest goga Theatre hosts this benefit for Live Girls! Theater, 620 Alaskan Way, 568-1985 ext 3. $7. Sat Dec 6 at 10 pm.
LIPSHTICK
One night only. They make it all up without smearing their makeup. All-women improv comedy at ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $5-$7. Sat Dec 6 at 10:30 pm.
TWILIGHT ZONE: LIVE!
Two of Rod Serling's finest episodes, in 3-D color. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $10. Thurs-Sat at 11 pm. Through Dec 13.
LONG RUNS
BUBBA AND BITCH at Bar, 322-1788.
CABARET: THE ResERECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.
* THE HOKUM HALL VARIETY SHOW at Hokum Hall, 937-3613.
JET CITY IMPROV at Historic University Theater, 352-8291.
LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at ACT, 292-7676.
TEATRO ZINZANNI 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015.
