by Traci Vogel

OPENING THIS WEEK

THE CARPENTERS: UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE TO YOU · Cabaret de Paris

*DRUMMING · On the Boards

KRAKEN · Theatre Babylon & Tantrum

LES MIS:RABLES · 5th Avenue Theatre

MAN OF MODE · Meany Studio Theater

SHORT BUT NOT SWEET · Theatre Babylon

ONE WEEK ONLY

*DAVID SEDARIS · Meany Theater

MOVIMIENTOS · On the Boards

PAUL TAYLOR DANCE COMPANY · Meany Theater

CLOSING THIS WEEK

THE BACCHAE · Vagabond Productions

CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF · Theater Schmeater

OLIVER · Civic Light Opera

ORPHANS · Stepping Stone Productions

STRINGS OF WONDER · NW Puppet Center

TWILIGHT ZONE LIVE ON STAGE · Theater Schmeater

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

ALL MEAT SHOW

Meat themes abound in this selection of six short plays written and performed by local playwrights and actors, produced by A Theatre Near You. There's sure to be something for everyone, except vegetarians. The Parlour Room, 163 S Jackson, Third Floor, 287-1900. Fri-Sat Oct 22-23; Wed-Thurs Oct 27-28, at 8. $8.

THE BACCHAE

Vagabond Productions presents Euripides' classic drama of lust-driven women who abandon their homes and families to follow Dionysus -- this time set in the swinging '60s! Northwest Actor's Studio, 1100 E Pike, 324-6328. Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, through Oct 23.

BARTLEBY

Melville's pivotal story, in which a young man finds that he serves only as a symbol. "In his reverence for the original text and the trust he shows his actors, Paul Budraitis shows promise as a playwright and director. Unfortunately, his clunky staging ends up greatly detracting from the show's narrative momentum and keeps Melville's strident ambiguity from being grounded in a compelling context. Bartleby rests squarely in the gap between good intentions and effective art." (Tom Spurgeon) Annex Theatre, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. Thurs-Sat at 8; Sun at 7, through Nov 6. $10.

CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF

"This fringe production sinks Williams' extravagant grace in bombastics and miscasting. Nearly all of the actors engage in the howling, mad-eyed gesticulations of a lowbrow farce, which pushes the proceedings dangerously close to camp." (Steve Wiecking) Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. Thurs-Sat at 8, through Oct 23. $12.

DEAR LIAR

Sally Smythe and the fabulous Laurence Ballard star in Jerome Kilty's play documenting the saucy correspondence and hot romance between George Bernard Shaw and some lady. Intiman Playhouse, Seattle Center, 269-1900. Tues-Sun through Nov 20. $10-$39. Call for showtimes.

*DEFLOWERED IN THE ATTIC

Those perverts at Re-bar molest V. C. Andrews in this world premiere parody of everyone's favorite incestuous adolescent fiction. "This winning spoof directed by Ed Hawkins begins in High Camp gear and goes gamboling over the top again and again for the rest of the night. Some foreknowledge of the Flowers in the Attic series is ideal, but there is plenty here to cause your spleen bodily harm even without it." (Steve Wiecking) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. Fri-Sun at 8, through Nov 21. $12.

THE GOLDEN CHILD

Tradition and trendiness clash in David Henry Hwang's family planning play. "David Henry Hwang wants to say something about the claims of history and family and, oh, a couple of other things, too, but based on Golden Child, he's more than a little unclear on all of it. The talented man who wrote the intriguing M. Butterfly here displays none of the thoughtful, and sorely needed, ambiguities that powered that Tony Award-winning play." (Steve Wiecking) Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, Second & Mercer St, 443-2222. Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun at 2, through Oct 30. $10-$29.

HAPPY?

Seattle's finest experimental performance troupe, the Compound, present their latest work, written and directed by Kristin Newbom and John Holyoke, commissioned by and performed at Consolidated Works. Consolidated Works, 410 Terry Ave N, 860-5245. Thurs-Sun at 8, through Nov 28. $16.

JANE EYRE

Brainy Book-It Theater presents Charlotte Brontë's classic tale of a young girl's spooky journey to womanhood. ACT's Bullitt Theatre, Kreielsheimer Place, Seventh Ave & Union St, 216-0833. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, through Nov 7. $10-$15. See review this issue.

KRAKEN

How do you beat a housing crunch? You live where you work, as the artists in Kraken do in this serial dramedy that promises soap operatic tension -- if they can make the rent. Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. Fri-Sat at 10:30, through Nov 12. $5.

LES MIS:RABLES

The musical based on Victor Hugo's saga sweeps into Seattle, bringing the fugitive Jean Valjean and his little band of miserables. The $4.2 million production promises even bigger piles of junk! 5th Avenue Theater, 1326 Fifth Ave, 292-2787. Times and prices vary, through Nov 13.

THE MAGIC FLUTE

Seattle Opera teams up with L.A. Opera to present one of Mozart's best-loved works, originally performed under the filthy title, Die Zauberflöte. Seattle Center Opera House, Seattle Center (duh), through Oct 30. Call for showtimes, 389-7676. $30-$103.

MAN OF MODE

A British comedy in which social grace, snobbery, and gossip are made fun of -- imagine! Come for the fop. Meany Studio Theater, 15th NE & 41st NE in Meany Hall, UW Campus, 543-4880. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, through Nov 7. $7-$10.

MOVIMIENTOS

It's international multimedia madness, as Ecuador's Artes No Decoratives, Birlibirloque Dance, and Nelson Garcia team up to create Movimientos, a performance which involves musicians, dancers (guest dancers Amii Le Gendre and Crispin Spaeth), film, scenery, and lighting. The photos from the press packet look lush and spacious; this could be an inspiring event, or it could be... madness. On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. Mon-Tues Oct 25-26 at 8. $15.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

The Seattle Shakespeare Festival trots out this sharp-tongued comedy by Generation X's favorite playwright. Ethnic Cultural Center, 39th & Brooklyn, 286-0728. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 2, through Oct 31. $18-20.

OLIVER

A touching musical about a malnourished orphan child sent through the grueling London underground where, aside from lice, he also picks up pickpocketing tips. Added dramatic bonus: Audience members get to cross a picket line of striking Civic Light Opera musicians! It's scab-tastic! Jane Addams Theater, 11051 34th NE, 363-2809. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2:30, through Oct 23. $16-$20.

ORPHANS

Two brothers, Treat and Phillip, live an edgy existence, parentless in a mean, mean city. When the brothers kidnap drunk businessman Harold, they find a parent figure who "heralds encouragement and hope." Partial proceeds of this Stepping Stone Production benefit the Seattle Children's Home, Peace for the Streets by Kids from the Street, and Camp Opportunity. Freedom Hall, 3815 Fifth Ave NE, 841-2521. Thurs-Sat at 8; Sun at 7, extended through Oct 23. $12 ($2 off with donation of a pair of clean socks or clean blanket).

RANCHO GRANDE

The ambitious Northwest Asian American Theater presents Eugenie Chan's dark comedy blending Chinese mythology and American Wild West iconography to tell the tale of a Chinese American girl's sexual awakening. Theater Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave 340-1049, Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, through Nov 7. $10-$12. See review this issue.

*THE ROYAL FAMILY

A stage family from Broadway's golden age brings nostalgic fun to the Intiman, in this revival of George S. Kaufman and Edna Ferber's theatrical classic. Intiman Playhouse, Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. Sun, Tues, & Wed at 7; Thurs-Sat at 8; Sat-Sun 2 pm matinees, through Nov 14. $10-$39.

*DAVID SEDARIS

The funniest little elf there ever was graces Seattle once again, for an afternoon reading. Sedaris, whose short stories in Barrel Fever and Naked nip you in the ass while you're laughing, is sure to draw a crowd, so reserve your tickets quickly. Meany Theater, NE 41st St & 15th Ave NE, UW campus, 543-4880. Sun Oct 24 at 3. $22/$18.

SEVENTY SCENES OF HALLOWEEN

Seattle's Hyperion Theater presents Jeffrey Jones' surreal comedy chronicling a couple's Halloween night spent sitting on a couch. Freehold's East Hall Theater, 1529 10th, 675-2945. Fri-Sat at 7:30 and 10, Sun at 8, though Oct 31. $10-$12.50.

SHORT BUT NOT SWEET

Seven plays under 20 minutes twinkle across the stage in Theater Babylon's showcase of local talent. The plays range thematically from dwarf-tossing to poker, and none of them are long enough to be all that bad, right? Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 860-7726. Thurs-Sat at 8, through Nov 13. $9.99 (Thurs pay what you will).

STRINGS OF WONDER

The photo accompanying the press release for Strings of Wonder shows leading Chinese marionettist Huang Yi Que in a white suit, invigorating a very charming looking monkey wearing a yellow Communist scarf. Huang is renowned worldwide for his abilities; now nearly 80, he himself may be the wonder. Northwest Puppet Center, 9123 15th Ave NE, 523-2579. Fri at 7:30, Sat-Sun at 1 & 3, through Oct 24. $6.50-$8.50.

WIT

A Donne scholar who has spent her life dissecting poetry suddenly finds herself on the other end of the 'scope when she is diagnosed with cancer. Margaret Edson's award-winning script tries to find the human side to analysis. With Megan Cole as Vivan Bearing, Ph.D. Seattle Repertory Theatre, Second St & Mercer, 443-2222. Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun matinees at 2, through Nov 20. $29-$42.

DANCE

*DRUMMING

Anna Teresa De Keersmaeker and her 12-member Rosas are highly sought after by dance audiences who love the sight of complex technical movement performed by a large company. Rosas, based in Brussels, makes a rare appearance here, presenting a piece that has already gotten lots of favorable attention. On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. Wed-Sat Oct 27-30 at 8. $15.

PAUL TAYLOR DANCE COMPANY

Now in its 45th year, the agile Mr. Taylor and his Company continue to produce critically acclaimed new modern dance. The program features Cascade to music by Bach, and Eventide and Le Sacre Du Printemps, set to Stravinsky. Meany Theater, NE 41st St & 15th Ave NE, UW campus, 543-4880. Thurs-Sat Oct 21-23 at 8. $32.

FESTIVALS, CABARETS, & COMEDY

CAMPFIRE!

Those wacky improvisers at Unexpected Productions present a long-form improv based on chilling campfire tales -- and inspired by actual audience occurrences with the occult! Market Theater, Pike Place Market, 781-9273. Fri-Sat at 8 through Oct 30. Special Halloween performance Sun Oct 31 at 7. $10.

THE CARPENTERS: UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE TO YOU

Real-life brother and sister comedy team David and Lisa Koch take on everyone's favorite bulimic drummer in this "uncomfortably close" parody, complete with note-perfect songs. Cabaret de Paris, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. Thurs at 8, Fri-Sat at 8:30, through Nov 20. $16. Dinner is also available; call for times and prices.

Julie Cascioppo Experience

Songs and characters you may grow to love. The Pink Door, Pike Place Market, 1919 Post Alley, 443-3241. Tues at 8:30 & 11. No cover.

FEEL YOU UP

A self-help seminar parody: Humor is the best remedy, you know. Ensemble improv with audience participation. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Wed at 8, through Oct 27. $5.

*TEATRO ZINZANNI

Three hours of fancy food and thrilling spectacle, presented in an antique European dance hall imported from Belgium for the occasion. Now featuring body-juggling brothers from France and the jaw-dropping Kevin Kent. Seattle Center, 222 Mercer St, 281-7788 ext 700 or 292-ARTS. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 6:30, extended through Dec 31. $88.

*THREE DOLLAR BILL

Seattle's original gay/lesbian/bisexual stand-up comedy night is still standing in its second year. Comedy Under-ground, 222 S Main St, 324-8025. Tues at 8. $6.

LATE NIGHT

THE A.M. CABARET

Amoral entertainment for insomniacs; promising naked poetry, music, strippers, and drag queens. You may think you're dreaming. Coffee Messiah, 1554 E Olive Way, 860-7377. Sat from 2-4 am. $5.

THE HABIT

Your fix is back, and this sketch comedy troupe has a whole new bag of tricks, from musical oddities to TV commercial parodies. Annex Theatre, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933.Fri-Sat at 11, through Oct 30. $5.

Jet City Improv

Improv comedy and music based on audience suggestions. Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. Fri-Sat at 10:30.

Theater Sports

Improv comedy with a competitive edge, brought to you by Unexpected Productions. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Fri-Sat at 10:30, $9. Sun at 7, $5.