OPENING THIS WEEK

THE CHAIRS · Intiman Theatre

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS · Annex Theatre

ONE WEEK ONLY

JACQUES THE FATALIST AND HIS MASTER · Bluchaos Productions

OFF THE CUFF · Freehold Theater

CLOSING THIS WEEK

3 GUYS NAKED FROM THE WAIST DOWN · Theatre Off Jackson

LINGER · Speakeasy Backroom

MASS APPEAL · Taproot Theatre Company

SALTIMBANCO · Cirque du Soleil

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

3 GUYS NAKED FROM THE WAIST DOWN

The most pandering title of all time, except that it's about standup comedy, not homoeroticism. A rock musical. Fuzzy Bunnies, Ink at Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 292-ARTS. Thurs Aug 10 is pay-what-you-can. Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 7; $15, $10 student/seniors. Through Aug 13.

*ALL ABOUT MEDEA

An original comedy about backstage hijinks at a drag production of Medea. "The play is light, charming, smart, sexy, and always in the twilight of saying something profound or falling apart into laughter." (Charles Mudede) Re-bar, 1114 E Howell, 323-0388. Fri-Sun at 8; $12. Extended through Aug 20.

BETRAYAL

Harold Pinter's oft-produced play that examines a love triangle by starting at its end and traveling backward to its beginning. Theatre Paradox at the Chamber Theater, Odd Fellows Hall, Fourth Floor, 915 E Pine, 568-0631. Thurs-Sat at 8; $12, $10 students. Through Sept 9.

THE BOUFFANTS

Big wigs, pop songs. "You too might find the wigs and songs in this extended skit about three Caucasian gals in a Motown-era girl group amusing, especially if you've been curious about the films of John Waters but don't cotton to all that vomit." (Tamara Paris) Cabaret de Paris, second level of Rainier Square, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. Thurs at 8, Fri-Sat at 8:30; $16 for the show, $42 for dinner too. Through Sept 30.

THE CHAIRS

A hot young director (Kate Whoriskey, currently featured in Vogue!) and a new translation are going to try to invigorate this static chestnut of the absurd. Good luck. Intiman Theatre, Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. Previews Aug 11, 12, 13, 15; call for times. Opens Wed Aug 16; $23.50-$42. Through Sept 9.

DECADES

The history of America in popular song. Sort of like Forrest Gump, but without the stupid guy. American Cabaret Theatre at the Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 325-6500. Previews Fri-Sat Aug 11-12. Fri-Sat at 8; $20, $10 children. Through Aug 26.

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS

Fly-on-the-wall perspective on the lives of Michael & Lisa Marie, Pamela & Tommy, Frank's last days, and other moments of excruciating celebrity tabloid squalor. See Bio Box. Annex Theatre, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. Preview Thurs Aug 10. Opens Fri Aug 11. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7; $12. Added performance on Wed Sept 6. Through Sept 9.

*THE FANTASTICKS

"The show is being staged among the murmuring brooks and rustling leaves of the tranquil and charming Japanese Garden at the Washington Park Arboretum. Okay, maybe musical theater isn't your thing, but who could resist watching a kimono-clad girl tiptoe around a koi pond before she bursts into song?" (Tamara Paris) Northwest Asian American Theatre at the Arboretum, Washington Park, 2300 E Arboretum Dr, 340-1049. Wed-Sun at 7; $27.50, $22.50 students/seniors. No performance on Sat Aug 12. Through Aug 20.

HENRY IV, PART ONE

English politics filtered through a young king's relationship with a big, fat drunk. Greenstage, 748-1551. At Lincoln Park on Sat-Sun Aug 12-13; Volunteer Park on Sat Aug 19 & 26 and Sat-Mon Sept 2-4; all performances at 3 pm. Free.

JACQUES THE FATALIST AND HIS MASTER

A French Don Quixote, written by the French philosopher Denis Diderot. Trés, trés French. Bluchaos Productions at the Cabaret Theatre in UW's Hutchinson Hall, 977-8966. Wed-Sun Aug 9-13, 8 pm (2 pm matinee on Sun Aug 13); $5.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM

"While non-Catholics will find Sister's pathological disdain of chewing gum and broken rulers amusing, members of the faith will find it hilarious." (Adrian Ryan) A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2; $24.50-$29.50. Extended for eternity.

*LINGER

A solo show by John Kaufmann. "The show explores what 'being in the moment'--that slippery aspiration of acting teachers and 'love yourself'-types--might actually mean.... Often goofy, Kaufmann deftly avoids falling into the saccharine trap... linger is good. Really good." (Brendan Kiley) Speakeasy Back Room, 2304 Second Ave, 322-3277. Fri-Sun at 9; $7-$10 (depending on whether or not you sign an "audience/performer contract"). Through Aug 12.

MASS APPEAL

A young priest and an old priest rub each other the wrong way... though that might not be the best way to put that. Comedy improv follows Saturday performances. Taproot Theatre Company, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. Wed-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat matinee at 2; $16-$24. Through Aug 12.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

Two smartypantses fall in love while a good friend of theirs almost dies from public humiliation. Greenstage, 748-1551. At Lincoln Park on Fri-Sat Aug 11-12; Volunteer Park on Fri-Sat Aug 18-19, Sat Aug 26, & Fri-Sun Sept 1-3; all performances at 8 pm. Free.

THE SIX BASIC RULES

A new comedy about marriage from award-winning playwright Mary Lathrop. Held over from the Mae West Fest. AlphaFemale Productions at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 853-8303. Thurs-Sat at 8; $12. Through Aug 19. Reviewed this issue.

A SKULL IN CONNEMARA

New play by snotty Irish playwright Martin McDonough, featuring former Seattle actor (and recent Obie Award-winner) Christopher Evan Welch. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sun at 7:30; Fri-Sat at 8; 2 pm matinees on Aug 12, 13, 19, & 20; $27-$42, $10 for persons 25 and under. Through Aug 20. Reviewed this issue.

SUMMER DURANG... SOME ARE NOT

Actually, all of them are Durang. Ten short plays from the hugely popular comic playwright, who's probably best experienced in a short format. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike, 324-6328. Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 7; $10. Through Aug 26.

SUMMER SEASON

A whole buncha stuff at Seattle Childrens Theatre, ranging from Dr. Dolittle in the Moon to Macbeth (?!), featuring students from the SCT Drama School. Seattle Childrens Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. Call for specific show times; $4 single tickets, $6 double features, $20 for all eight shows. Through Aug 18.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE MARATHON VII

Theater Schmeater pulls at the teat of their cash cow one more time, which is not to say that these episodes won't be perfectly entertaining. Also featuring the insidiously popular Miss Intermission. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7; $12, under 18 free. Through Aug 26.

DANCE

OFF THE CUFF

The Seattle Festival of Alternative Dance and Improvisation happens this weekend. The lineup for each performance is different; call for specifics. Freehold Theater, 915 E Pine, Second Floor, 505-1557 ext. 1133. $10 per show, $8 if you buy tickets for more than one. Fri-Sat Aug 11-12, 7 & 9 pm.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY

HOKUM'S RAGTIME NICKELODEON REVUE

Professor Hokum W. Jeebs returns with an evening of ragtime, silent cinema, classic vaudeville, and the big sounds of the mighty 1929 WurliTzer Theatre Pipe Organ. "I felt somehow like we were fireflies raising our tiny lights into a shimmering chorus, sharing our voices before descending into the inevitable darkness." (Tamara Paris) Hokum Hall, 7904 35th Ave SW, 937-3613. Fri-Sat at 8; $12, $10 students/seniors, discounts available. Open-ended engagement.

JULIE CASCIOPPO EXPERIENCE

"Cascioppo has confidently tossed schmaltz, a Casio keyboard, a couple of exhausted-looking wigs, naughty banter, and... songs you thought you hated into a furiously agitating blender. The cocktail concocted goes down shockingly smooth." (Tamara Paris) Pink Door, Pike Place Market, 1919 Post Alley, 443-3241. Tues at 8:30 & 11. No cover.

*SALTIMBANCO

"Stuff like this defies criticism. It's just fun." (Bret Fetzer) Cirque du Soleil's Big White Tent is next to the Renton Boeing plant, off Exit 5 on I-405. Call 800-675-5440 for tickets. They're pricey ($22.50 to $160), and I'm a little appalled by the VIP treatment with a private entrance, but you probably won't regret it. Through Aug 13.

THREE DOLLAR BILL

"Like most disreputable arts, standup now offers a more compelling product for its lack of adoration. Billed as a gay- and lesbian-oriented show, Three Dollar Bill also works as a low-cost current comedy primer." (Tom Spurgeon) Comedy Underground, 222 S Main St, 628-0303. Tues at 8; $6.

LATE NIGHT

BLACK JACK

A new play by Anthony Curry about three friends. Something must happen, but the press release doesn't say what. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike, 324-6328. Fri-Sat at 10:30; $5. Through Aug 26.

THE DUCT TAPE EXPERIENCE

Another sketch comedy show; this one claims to be an all-singing, all-dancing indictment of a society gone astray. Disgruntled Bit Players at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 729-4839. Fri-Sat at 11; $6. Through Aug 26.

JET CITY IMPROV

Improv comedy and music based on audience suggestions. "The show goes down really smoothly. One only wishes for better direction." (Tom Spurgeon) Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. Fri-Sat at 10:30; $7, $5 with student ID. ALSO: Through August, Jet City performs live with Fremont Friday Night Outdoor Movies, improvising dialogue and sound effects for B movies shown without sound. See Movie Times for details.

THEATER SPORTS

"The only improvisational show I've ever seen where the women performers were clearly better than the men--a welcome change from the overaggressive scene-stealing of many male-driven troupes." (Tom Spurgeon) Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Fri-Sat at 10:30, $9; Sun at 7, $5.

CALLS

Centerstage Theatre Arts Conservatory offers advanced teen and adult drama classes on Aug 12, 19, and 26. Limited space available; call 253-661-1444 for information.

dyke action is looking for femme/feminine identified performers for upcoming variety show. Auditions on Sun Aug 13, 4-6 pm. Call 366-2254 for more information or appointments.

5th Ave Musical Theatre Company looking for singer/actors, ensemble singers, and dancers who sing. Auditions on Aug 26-28; call 625-1418 for information or appointments.

Northwest Actors Studio is holding auditions for their Conservatory Class during the last two weeks of August. Call 324-6328 for information or appointments.

Riptide Deli Theatre on Alki is holding auditions for its 2000-01 season on Sun Aug 13, 1-4:30 pm. Short comic monologue preferred. Call 405-8433 for appointment.

Seattle Fringe Festival has applications available for the next Fringe Fest, but they won't start accepting them until Sept 23. And since it's first come, first serve, you'll want to get in there on that day, assuming you want to take part in this event to begin with. Call 526-1959 and talk to Wesley Middleton about it.

ReAct Theatre is scheduling auditions for two upcoming shows, one musical, on Aug 14-15 and 21. Performers of all ethnicities, genders, ages, shapes, and sizes are encouraged to audition. Call 364-3283 ext. 3 for information or appointments.