7 STRANGERS

A reality-theater spoof of the The Real World. EXITheatre, 1812 12th Ave, 851-8105. $10. Thurs–Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 26.

87TH AND VIRIDIAN
A new musical about strangers in an apartment building. Cedarcrest High School Theater, 29000 NE 150th St, Duvall, 683-5149. $8-$10. Fri–Sat at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 12.

THE BIBLE: THE COMPLETE WORD OF GOD (ABRIDGED)
"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces!" Malachi 2:3 Second Story Repertory, 16587 NE 74th St, Redmond, 425-881-6777. $18-$24. Fri-Sat at 8:15 pm and Sun, Aug 20 at 2:15 pm. Through Aug 26.

BLACK WATER
Opening. An opera by Joyce Carol Oates and John Duffy about a young woman trapped in the car of a U.S. Senator who has escaped and left her to drown. Off-Center Opera at Seattle Center House, 305 Harrison Street, (206) 684-7200. $17-$22. Thurs–Sun at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 27.

DER ROSENKAVALIER
A comic opera by Richard Strauss, with some material lifted from Moliere plays. McCaw Hall, 321 Mercer St, 684-7200. $49-$135. Sat, Aug 12, 7 pm, Tue, Aug 15, 7 pm, Fri, Aug 18, 7 pm, Sun, Aug 20, 2 pm, Wed, Aug 23, 7 pm and Sat, Aug 26, 7 pm.

DINNER & DREAMS
The dinner-theater extravaganza, with European-style cirque performances as garnish. Teatro ZinZanni, 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015. $99-$125. Wed-Sat at 6:30 pm and Sun at 5:30 pm.

DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS
"The shade is mighty thin in Oklahoma/And our leading cause of death is melanoma." Paramount Theatre, 911 E Pine St, 292-2787. $18.75-$70. Thurs, Aug 10 at 7:30 pm, Fri–Sat at 8 pm, and Sat at 2 pm. Through Aug 12.

recommended HEARTBREAK HOUSE
See Theater News. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $37-$46. Fri, Sat, 8 pm, Tues, Thurs, Sun, 7:30 pm, Sat, Sun, 2 pm and Weds, 7:30 pm. Through Aug 26.

HERETIC LINKS
Opening. A big ol' lesbo—excuse me, transgendered person—gets arrested by the Inquisition. Based on a true story. Experimental Theater Project at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030. $9-$15. Fri–Sat at 8 pm and Sat at 3 pm. Through Aug 26.

JUDY BLUME OWES ME AND CURTAINS FOR MR. MORTIMER
Opening. Solo comedies about boobs and "the lighter side of darkness." Live Girls!, 2220 NW Market St. $10. Mon–Tues at 8 pm. Through Aug 29.

LATE NITE CATECHISM
"The real point is not the adult-catechism monologue, but the script's gaps, in which Sister Aubrey Manning dispenses tissues to cover salacious displays of flesh and kitschy prizes to reward the dumbstruck targets of her improvisations." (Annie Wagner) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $24.50-$29.50. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm and Sun at 2 pm.

LOSING CONTROL: HOW I BECAME A GIRL
From the press release: "Bridget Quigg's hilarious, honest journey through flunking out of medical school, shaving her head on a whim, and realizing that losing control is her key to peace and happiness." Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. $12. Fri–Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 12.

THE LOVE LIST
Opening. From the press release: "A 50-year-old Nebbish discovers the power to alter his girlfriend." It's a comedy. Allegedly. Red Ribbon Productions at Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 325-3113. $24-$29. Thurs–Sat at 8 pm. Through Sept 2.

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM
Extended. "Lovers and madmen have such seething brains." Erickson Theater Off Broadway, 1524 Harvard Ave, 587-5400. Free. Fri–Sun at 7 pm. Through Aug 19.

recommended MITZI'S ABORTION
Imagine All in the Family, but Gloria is pregnant, Archie Bunker is the mom, and Meathead is in Iraq. By local Elizabeth Heffron. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $10-$54. Tues–Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri–Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7:30, 2 pm and Sat, Aug 12 at 2 pm. Through Aug 20.

ONCE UPON A MATTRESS
Opening. Fractured fables by the Pandemonium Players West Seattle High School, 3000 California Ave SW, 252-8800. $7-$12. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 3, 7:30 pm and Sun at 3 pm.

recommended PILEDRIVER!

A remount of the homoerotic, smack-talking professional wrestling comedy that body-slammed audiences at Re-bar in 2003. Featuring John Kaufmann, Charles Leggett, Timothy Hyland, Peter Dylan O'Connor, and Jená Cane. Joe Boston Productions at Capitol Hill Arts Center, 1621 12th Ave, 800-838-3006. $20. Thurs–Sat at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 26.

REWIND 1987
"Rewind 1987 is an interactive dinner theater 'experience' that reproduces a 1987 homecoming dance, with the jock, the cute nerdy girl, the tipsy biology teacher, the pack of snotty cheerleaders, the sad punk, and the rest of the gang. (Long Duk Dong was conspicuously absent.) You eat salmon, drink beer, watch the 1980s high-school caricatures caper, be cajoled to dance, and, finally, dance to 'Rock the Casbah,' 'My Sharona,' and, of course, 'Walk Like an Egyptian.' The 'experience' is half onstage, half on the dance floor, where individual audience members chat and flirt with individual characters. The audience has to get out of its seats and onto the floor if it wants to experience the 'experience.' That's a dicey proposition for Seattle audiences, famous—even at rock shows—for folding their arms, staying aloof, and generally failing to rock. Rewind 1987, which began in Los Angeles, has the potential to become another long-running Late Night Catechism if it finds its target audience: bachelorette parties, sorority outings, and other herds of young, drunken women who want to dance to radio hits from their elementary school days." (Brendan Kiley) Last Supper Club, 124 S Washington St, 748-9975. $49-$69. Fri–Sat at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 12.

ROBIN HOOD
The famous English scalawag who took up archery to overcompensate for his "Little John." Theater Schmeater at Volunteer Park, Corner of 14th Ave E and E Prospect St, 329-2629. Free. Fri at 6:30 pm and Sat–Sun at 4 pm. Through Aug 26.

SMOKE ON THE MOUNTAIN
Extended. A musical comedy about a bluegrass "Saturday Night Sing" in Mount Pleasant Baptist Church, circa 1938. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $15-$30. Weds–Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri–Sat at 8 pm and Sat at 2 pm. Through Aug 26.

XXX: A NEW WORKS FEST
New stuff. This weekend: 7-short and 1-long by Karen Gruber and Larry Ryan, In the Kafka Colony: Surreal Scenes and Other Depictions of Struggle by Dustin Engstrom, and Once Upon a Fuckin' Time by Aaron Allshouse. Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. Free. Sat–Sun at 2 pm. Through Aug 13.

recommended THE YARD DOGS ROAD SHOW
Word on the street says this saloon-flavored cirque noir group is killer. Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave NW, 789-3599. $12. Sun, Aug 13 at 9 pm.

MOJACAR FLAMENCO IN CONCERT
Flamenco. The last time they played in Seattle, they were opening for Concrete Blonde. No kidding. Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 3940 Brooklyn Ave. NE, 543-7661. $20. Fri, Aug 11 at 8 pm.

OFF THE CUFF
An improvisational dance show. Erickson Theater Off Broadway, 1524 Harvard Ave, 587-5400. $7-$12. Fri, Aug 11 at 7 pm and Sat, Aug 12 at 9 pm.

ALL IN HER HEAD
"A delightful evening of song and comedy that follows the therapy sessions of three women searching for love." That's not "delightful." That's sad. Crepe de Paris, 1333 5th Avenue, 623-4111. $18-$45. Thurs–Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 26.

BURLESQUE BEHIND THE PINK DOOR
Novelty acts, puppets, crooners, and old-fashioned burlesque. With Paula the Swedish Housewife. Pink Door, 1919 Post Alley, 443-3241. $10. Sat at 10:30 pm.

COLUMBIA CITY CABARET
A "saucy cabaret," hosted by Tamara the Trapeze lady. Columbia City Theatre, 4916 Rainier Ave S, 723-0088. $15. Fri at 9 pm.

DIVINITEASE BURLESQUE TROUPE
Slatterns, et al. Jubilante Jazz Club (Renton), 305 Burnett Ave. S, 425-226-1544. $5. Sat, Aug 12 at 10 pm.

HOTTER THAN JULY: BALLROOM AND BLUES
Dance, music, and spoken word. A Flame Productions at Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. $7-$10. Sat, Aug 12 at 7, 8:30 pm.

JULIE ATLAS MUZ AND L'POW!
Burlesque. Heavens, 172 S Washington S, 622-1863. $12-$45. Thu, Aug 10 at 8 pm.

LIVE BURLESQUE
A (verbatim) e-mail from SeaMonster's PR department: "Do you print all the burlesque happenings in seattle or just the people that you know well or have sucked your cock...(or cockette) be fair bitches!!" SeaMonster Lounge, 2202 N 45th St, 633-1824. Free. Tues at 11 pm.

ME AND MY SHADOW
Two tenors and a pianist share their love of the jazz standards. Origami Girl Productions at Thumper's, 1500 E Madison St, 328-3800. $10. Sun at 8 pm. Through Aug 27.

TANGO CABARET SHOW
Opening. The name says it all. Century Ballroom, 915 E Pine St, second floor, 324-7263. $20. Fri–Sat at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 12.

THE COMEDY SHOP
Comedy, comedy, comedy. And comedy. Columbia City Theatre, 4916 Rainier Ave S, 723-0088. $12 adv/$15 DOS. Sat at 8:30, 10:30 pm.

COMEDY UNDERGROUND
New comedians each week. Check website for details. Comedy Underground, 222 S Main St, 800-325-7328. $6-$15. Fri–Sat at 8:30 pm and Fri, Sat, 10:30 pm.

THE COTTON GIN
Improv puppet show that takes place in bar. Directed by Troy Mink. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 587-2414. $10. Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 26.

JET CITY IMPROV
Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 352-8291. $8-$10. Fri–Sat at 10:30 pm and Sat at 8 pm.

PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF KOMEDY
New comedians each week. Mirabeau Room, 529 Queen Anne Ave N, 217-2800. $5. Wed at 9 pm.

THEATRESPORTS
Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 587-2414. $8-$12. Fri–Sat at 10:30 pm and Sun at 7 pm.

LATE NIGHT WITH SATAN
"Talk shows are so familiar that any 3-year-old with a desk and two plush chairs could duplicate the format. This show suffered from too many dropped jokes and uncomfortable silences, mostly because Ryan Miller, as the titular Prince of Darkness, didn't stay in character. If he improvised as Satan the entire time, making the show a rude, cruel experience, it could be the kind of thing that people get stoned and flock to. Instead, we got a couple thematic one-liners: Did you know that the devil directed Gigli? Ka-zing! Right now, the whole experience should be titled Late Night with a Guy Who's Funnier Than Jay Leno, and that's just not enough." (Paul Constant) Wing-It Productions at Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 352-8291. www.wingitpresents.com. $5. Sat at midnight. Through Aug 28.

THE IMMIGRANT'S TABLE
A staged reading of The Immigrant's Table, a story of Italians and immigration, by Mary Lou Sanelli and Jackie Leone. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 587-2414. $15. Fri at 8 pm. Through Aug 18.