OPENING THIS WEEK

A SUBWAY FARCE · Northwest Actors Studio

CONTACT · Paramount Theatre

THE DANUBE · Defibrillator Productions

JOHNNY TREMAIN · Seattle Children's Theatre

LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER · Book-It Repertory Theatre

ON THE SIDE · Rockhopper Dance

OUR COUNTRY'S GOOD · Theater Schmeater

STRAIGHT · Northwest Asian American Theatre

UNFAIR ARGUMENTS WITH EXISTENCE/ROUTINES · A Theatre Under the Influence

ONE WEEK ONLY

UKELOOZA · Re-bar

CABARET FEVER · Re-bar

FOLLIES · Shunpike Arts Collective

FROM BUDDHA TO BROADWAY · ArtsyFartsyTheatre

THE NOTORIOUS C.H.O. · The Paramount Theatre

PATRICIA BARKER 20TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION · Pacific Northwest Ballet

PIANOMANIA! · Hokum Hall

SPELLBOUND · 33 Fainting Spells

CLOSING THIS WEEK

ANYTHING COLE/THE PUBLIC EYE · SecondStory Repertory

THE VELVET RUT · Annex Theatre

WAITING TO BE INVITED · A Contemporary Theatre

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

* 52 PICK UP

Fifty-two scenes in the rise and fall of a relationship, the order of presentation determined by the fall of a deck of cards. "Within moments, these two actors have created a bond so intimate that the audience actually cares about these hapless, bumbling lovers... Perfect show for anybody who's ever been destroyed by love." (Tamara Paris) theater simple at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 784-8647. $10-$12 (pay what you can Thurs Sept 13 & 20). Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2 on Sept 23, Sun at 7 on Sept 16. Through Sept 23.

A SUBWAY FARCE

Reviewed this issue. Social misfits trapped on a subway that won't stop; a new play from Tony Curry. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 324-6328. $12 general, $10 students/seniors. Fri-Sat at 8. Through Sept 29.

THE DANUBE

Maria Irene Fornes' elliptical tale of nuclear and environmental decay, filtered through a Hungarian language instruction tape. Defibrillator Productions at the space above the Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 3rd Floor, 931-5629. $12 general, $8 students (pay what you can Wed). Wed-Thurs at 8, Fri-Sat at 10. Through Sept 29.

GOOSED

Reviewed this issue. Sort of a fairy tale about an irresistibly attractive guy. "Contains adult content," we are promised, which could mean the characters will be filling out their tax forms and fixing the garage door opener. Planet Earth Multi-Cultural Theatre Seattle at the Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 243-6773. $8. Thurs-Sat at 8 (Sun at 8 on Sept 16). Through Sept 21.

HERBERT MATTHEWS GOES TO THE SIERRA

A damn charming new rock musical from Herbert Bergel. Printer's Devil Theatre at various venues: Downtown YMCA (w/ the Little Champions & the Revolutionary Hydra) on Fri Sept 14; Ground Zero (w/ the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players & Sgt. Rigsby and His Amazing Silhouettes); go to www.printersdevil.org or call 860-7163 for complete information. Through Sept 29.

I LOVE YOU, YOU'RE PERFECT, NOW CHANGE

Reviewed this issue. A musical revue described by some reviewer as "Seinfeld set to music." He said it, I didn't. Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 325-6500. $23-$25. Fri-Sat at 8. Through Oct 6.

JOHNNY TREMAIN

A young silversmith loses his job and starts throwing tea into Boston Harbor. Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $14.50-$22.50. Fri at 7, Sat-Sun at 2 & 5:30. Through Oct 27.

LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER

Featuring naked people tucking flowers into each other's pubic hair--or at least Book-It's original production did. Book-It at the New Performance Studio, Seattle Center House, 325-6500. $19 general, $17.25 seniors/groups ($15 students on Thurs & Sun). Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 2. Through Oct 7.

* THE LADY FROM THE SEA

Middle-class wife gets ants in pants for hunky sailor. "Director Kate Whoriskey's production is a lush visual spectacle...[Though the main] story bogs down in Ibsen's relentless explication of his themes, the subplots display a striking degree of subtlety and vigor.... A few days after seeing the show, its many pleasures grow even richer in my memory." (Bret Fetzer) Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $10-$42. Tue-Wed-Thurs & Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun at 2 (Wed matinee on Sept 19; Sept 15 matinee is audio-described). Through Sept 22.

OUR COUNTRY'S GOOD

Australian convicts in the late 1700s put on a show. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $12 (anyone under 18 gets in free), opening night gala on Sept 14 is $15. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun matinees on Sept 16 and 30 at 2. Through Oct 13.

* STRAIGHT

The Stranger's own David Schmader whips out his smart and witty exploration of conversion therapy. Northwest Asian American Theater, 409 7th Ave S, 340-1049. $12. Fri-Sat at 7:30. Through Sept 29.

UNFAIR ARGUMENTS WITH EXISTENCE/ROUTINES

A collection of short theater pieces by aging Beat poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti, who recently tried to get into a friend of mine's pants--but that's another story. Directed by Vincent "Kerouac: The Essence of Jack" Balestri. A Theatre Under the Influence at the Union Garage, 1416 10th Ave, 720-1942. $12, pay what you can Thurs. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Oct 6.

* THE VELVET RUT

"The Velvet Rut presents a cavalcade of caricatures not so much interacting, but colliding like particles in a theatrical cylinder. These collisions are often very funny, novel, and interesting. Just as often they're protracted and overstated.... All that said, this Rut is worth getting into, if for no other reason than to see the performance of Jonah Von Spreecken." (Sean Nelson) Annex Theatre at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 728-0933. $12 general, $7 students. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Sept 15. (Note: Stranger theater editor Bret Fetzer is also the artistic director of Annex Theatre.)

WAITING TO BE INVITED

Four black friends decide to test the Supreme Court's desegregation rulings by having lunch at a "whites only" restaurant. "The play doesn't show us this act of political protest or its consequence. It lets us leave, instead, with a warm feeling about the power of women's friendships. The almost entirely white audience at the performance I saw gave this show a standing ovation. I felt uncomfortable... Civil Rights Movement Lite." (Rebecca Brown) A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union, 292-7676. $30-$42 ($10 for anyone 25 or under). Tues-Wed-Thurs & Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, matinees on Sept 15 & 16 at 2. Through Sept 16.

WHAT HAPPENED WAS...

Reviewed this issue. Tom Noonan's play about a date gone horribly awry. The performance includes a three-course meal. Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 935-8420. $29. Fri-Sat, dinner starts at 6:30, show follows. Through Oct 6.

DANCE

CONTACT

See Stranger Suggests. Tony Award-winning musical telling tales of love through dance that's garnered the gushiest damn reviews you ever saw. The Paramount Theatre, 9th & Pine, 292-ARTS. $20-$56. Tues-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun at 2, Sun at 7:30. This weekend only.

FROM BUDDHA TO BROADWAY

See Stranger Suggests. A "comically inclined dance/ theater/video project." ArtsyFartsyTheatre at the Chamber Theater, 915 E Pine St, 4th Flr, 329-4218. $10 general, $7 student/seniors/reservations. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Sept 22.

ON THE SIDE

Rockhopper's annual showcase of short works, featuring new work by Alethea Adsitt, Richard Ayres, Pablo Cornejo, Freya Wormus, Jenny Gerber, and much more. Rockhopper Dance at Freehold Theater, 1525 10th Ave (Oddfellows Hall, 2nd Floor), 325-6500. $14 at the door, $12 in advance (pay what you will Sept 13). Through Sept 22

PATRICIA BARKER 20TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION

Pacific Northwest Ballet fetes their principal ballerina, featuring excerpts from a whole bunch of ballets. PNB at Seattle Center Opera House, 321 Mercer St, 292-ARTS. $20-$75. Fri at 7, this weekend only.

SPELLBOUND

A benefit for dance troupe 33 Fainting Spells, featuring excerpts from their upcoming work and a whole bunch of guest artists. Velocity MainSpace, 915 E Pine St, 2nd Flr, 568-8640. $33. Sat at 8, this weekend only.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY

7 BLONDES

A tribute to blond icons, ranging from Marilyn Monroe to Britney Spears, performed by Sunny. "It was tragically apparent that this entire show and perhaps poor Sunny herself are merely three-dimensional advertisements for the vacuous schlock that Greg Thompson parades upon the slick stages of casinos and cruise ships." (Tamara Paris) Greg Thompson Productions at the Crepe de Paris, Rainier Square, 1531 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. $20 for the show alone, $49 with dinner. Thurs-Sun at 9. Through Sept 30.

CABARET FEVER

A fundraiser for the Women of Wisdom Foundation, featuring Peggy Platt, Nancy Slick, Tamara the Trapeze Lady, and many more. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 782-3363. $15-$18. Mon at 7, this week only.

CAMPFIRE

Long-form improvisation, based on audience experiences with unexplained--i.e. spooooooky!--phenomena. Unexpected Productions at the Market Theatre, Post Alley below the Pike St. Market, 781-9273. $10. Fri-Sat at 8. Through Oct 27.

COMEDY COURT

Improv comedy. University Heights Center, 5031 University Way NE, 442-2044. $7 general, $5 students. First and third Friday of each month at 7:30. Through Nov 16.

THE NOTORIOUS C.H.O.

See Stranger Suggests. Margaret Cho brings her satirical stand-up to town. Paramount Theatre, 9th & Pine, 323-2992. $27.50-$37.50. Sun at 4 & 7, this weekend only.

PIANOMANIA!

Delightful keyboard madness at Hokum Hall, 7904 35th Ave SW, 937-3613. $14 general, $12 student/senior ($2 discount with a phone reservation, except for table seats). Fri-Sat at 8, this weekend only.

UKELOOZA

Rain City Projects, a playwright service organization, celebrates its 10th anniversary with an abundance of ukelele players, including hostess Stephanie Roberts, Na Hilahila Boys, Adam Ende, and Ben Laurance. Also featuring Heidi Schreck, Stephen Hando, Keri Healey, Sgt. Rigsby & His Amazing Silhouettes, Steve Wells, and more. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St (at Boren). $10 suggested donation. Wed at 8, this week only.

LATE NIGHT

FOLLIES

A new monthly mix of theater, music, film, and more, produced by the Shunpike Arts Collective. Secluded Alley Works, 113 12th Ave S. Suggested donation of $2-$5. Sat at 9:30 (bar opens at 8), this weekend only.