OPENING THIS WEEK

THE BEARD OF AVON 路 Seattle Repertory Theatre

DON QUIXOTE 路 Pacific Northwest Ballet

THE HOBOKEN CHICKEN EMERGENCY 路 Seattle Children's Theatre

SUBTERRANEAN HOMESICK 路 Theater Schmeater


ONE WEEK ONLY

A CONVERSATION WITH BILLY CRYSTAL 路 Out to Laugh

CROSS-CUTS, CLOSE-UPS 路 Little Theatre

DANCEMAKING: EXPLORING CHOREOGRAPHY WITH SEAN CURRAN 路 Cornish College of the Arts

SUMMERHOUSE 路 BetterBiscuitDance


CLOSING THIS WEEK

A COUPLA WHITE CHICKS SITTING AROUND TALKING 路 Liberty Deli

BURT (OR WHEN I WAS FIVE I KILLED MYSELF) 路 Theatre Babylon

DISNEY'S JUNGLE ADVENTURES ON ICE 路 KeyArena

MACBETH 路 Seattle Shakespeare Company

NUTS & CREAMY NOUGAT 路 Cabaret de Paris

THE PRIMARY ENGLISH CLASS 路 Bridges International Repertory Company

PROOF 路 Seattle Repertory Company

THE RACE OF THE ARK TATTOO 路 A Contemporary Theatre

SPOKEN REFLECTIONS 路 XODO Dance Productions


OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS


A COUPLA WHITE CHICKS SITTING AROUND TALKING

Continuing their tradition of only producing plays by writers named "Noonan." Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 935-8420. $29 (includes buffet dinner); show-only tickets $15 (seating limited). Fri-Sat & selected Sun, dinner starts at 6:30 pm, show follows. Through Nov 10.


ANNE

An adaptation of Anne of Green Gables. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 325-6500. $10-$24. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat at 3 pm on 11/10 & 11/24, Sun at 3 pm on 11/18. (No performance on Thanksgiving.) Through Nov 24.


THE BEARD OF AVON

See Stranger Suggests. A comedy about the "Was Shakespeare really Shakespeare" controversy. Seattle Repertory Theatre, Second Ave & Mercer St, 443-2222. $15-$39. Tues-Sun at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 22.


* BURT (OR WHEN I WAS FIVE I KILLED MYSELF)

The troubled times of a young boy. "If by play's end you can't feel for at least one of Burt's excruciating traumas, I want to kick your ass...Most of the cast give strong performances, particularly the leads." (Tom Spurgeon) Theatre Babylon, 1418 Tenth Ave, 720-1942. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Nov 10.


* CHERRY CHERRY LEMON

All about girls and sex, with Keira McDonald's Showerhead as an appetizer. "[Playwright Keri] Healey's script is both forceful and delicate, knowing and curious, wise without arrogance. It's also hilariously frank, but an undergirding sadness makes the laughs empathetic, and therefore all the heartier." (Sean Nelson) Re-bar, 1114 Howell Ave, 323-0388. $12. Thurs-Sun at 8 pm. Through Nov 25 (no performance on Thanksgiving).


CHINA DOLL

The story of Anna May Wong, the first Chinese American star in Hollywood. Northwest Asian American Theatre, 409 Seventh Ave S, 340-1049. $12. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 4 pm. Through Nov 18.


CROUCHING TIGER, FISHING MONKEY

High-caliber Chinese hand puppetry. Northwest Puppet Center, 9123 15th Ave NE, 523-2579. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 1 & 3 pm. Through Nov 18.


GRAND MAGIC

A wife escapes from her jealous husband by disappearing in a conjuring trick. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $30-$42 ($10 for anyone 25 and under). Tues-Thurs & Sun at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, some matinees at 2 pm (call for details). Through Nov 18.


MACBETH

Out, out, damn spot! "Early scenes promise an adventure story with haunting dialogue and plenty of PG-13 skin. Then the actors start talking and ruin everything." (Tom Spurgeon) Seattle Shakespeare Company at the Performance Studio, Seattle Center House, 325-6500. $10-$24. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Nov 11.


* ONCE WHEN I WAS LOST

The experimental theater troupe Run/Remain--or at least some of them--return with a new piece. "Once has the feeling of an ultra-brainy variety show, or a spastic indie film that has curiously crossed over to the world of live theater." (Adrian Ryan) On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $12 Thurs/Sun, $14 Fri-Sat. Thurs-Sun at 8 pm. Through Nov 18.


* THE PRIMARY ENGLISH CLASS

A bunch of foreigners try to learn the English language, or the American one anyway. "[Despite the arbitrariness of the script], I liked it anyway. Why? The cast was so damn talented and fun, that's why." (Adrian Ryan) Bridges International Repertory Theatre at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 325-6500. $25. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 & 7 pm. Through Nov 11.


PROOF

Even mathematical geniuses fall in love. "The play hinges on an emotional bruise and the need for an apology. That's a genuine human conflict, true--but it's damn slender for an evening of theater." (Bret Fetzer) Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $15-$44 ($10 for anyone under 25). Tues-Sun at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through Nov 10.


* THE RACE OF THE ARK TATTOO

A "play and flea market" from hot playwright W. David Hancock. "This play tackles the challenge of describing the invisible, and probably doesn't succeed; but the delight on the faces of the audience suggests that the challenge is not a chore." (Bret Fetzer) A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $16.50 ($10 for anyone 25 and under). Wed, Thurs, Sun at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, some matinees at 2 pm (call for details). Through Nov 11.


THE RETURN TO MORALITY

A liberal writes a satire of the religious right, only to be taken literally and lionized by his targets. Seattle Theatre Project at Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 325-6500. $15 general. $10 students/seniors. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through Nov 18.


SEX IN SEATTLE, EPISODE 3: THE COLORS OF LOVE

The romantic trials of four Asian American women continue. SIS Productions at the Bathhouse Theater, 7312 W Greenlake Dr N, 324-6500. $12 general, $8 students/seniors/actors. Fri-Sat at 8 & 10:30 pm. Through Nov 17.


SHADES OF PARKLAND

A love triangle between a bride, a policeman, and a widow. Vodvil Theater, 1408 18th Ave, 329-9198. $12 (opening and closing nights are $25). Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through Dec 1.


SUBTERRANEAN HOMESICK

See BIO:THEATER. A new dysfunctional family comedy by John Moe. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm (also Sun at 2 pm on Nov 25 & Dec 9 only). Through Dec 14.


SWINK & SWERVE

Subtitled, "A Corruption of The Miller's Tale" from Chaucer, who's pretty corrupt to begin with. A Theater Near You at Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 726-9814. $10. At 8 pm on Nov 8-10 and Nov 15-18.


* WAITING FOR GODOT

An all-female version of Samuel Beckett's tale of two guys standing around. "You'd really have to fuck it up to rob this play of its power, and by the time Didi takes her near-dive into the void, I had existential chills." (Emily Hall) Stepping Stone Productions at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 325-6500. $15 general, $12 students. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through Nov 17.


DANCE


DANCEMAKING: EXPLORING CHOREOGRAPHY WITH SEAN CURRAN

See Stranger Suggests. A symposium with a noted choreographer. Cornish College of the Arts at PONCHO Concert Hall, Kerry Hall, 710 E Roy St. Free. Sun from 12-4 pm, this weekend only.


DON QUIXOTE

A ballet about an old guy on a beat-up mule who tilts at windmills. Pacific Northwest Ballet, Seattle Center Opera House, 321 Mercer St, 292-ARTS. $15-$115. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 pm, Sun at 1 pm. Through Nov 18.


PROGRESSION

A hit from the 1999 Fringe Festival; a dance-theater piece about a blue boy, a purple girl, and gender politics. Burnt Studio Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 325-6500. $12 general, $10 student/senior. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through Nov 17.


SPOKEN REFLECTIONS

Choreography to the spoken word. XODO Dance Productions at the Chamber Theater, 915 E Pine St, 4th floor, 568-5367. $9.95 in advance, $11 at the door. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Nov 10.


SUMMERHOUSE/TWOSOME

Previewed this issue. New work from BetterBiscuitDance at On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $12 general, $10 students/seniors. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, this weekend only.


FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY


A CONVERSATION WITH BILLY CRYSTAL

Wow, you know you've made it when you stop doing stand-up and start having "conversations." Out to Laugh at the Paramount Theatre, Ninth Ave & Pine St, 628-0888. $35-$65. Sat at 8 pm, this weekend only.


COMEDY COURT

Improv comedy. University Heights Center, 5031 University Way NE, 442-2044. $7 general, $5 students. First and third Friday of each month at 7:30 pm. Through Nov 16.


CROSS-CUTS, CLOSE-UPS

See Stranger Suggests. A literary barbershop trio: Doug Nufer, Anna Mockler, and Amy Fleetwood filling in for Gregory Hischak. Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 323-3557. $10. Thurs-Sun at 8 pm, this weekend only.


DISNEY'S JUNGLE ADVENTURES ON ICE

Could anything be less appropriate for an ice show than jungle adventures? Aren't those loin-clothed beefcakes going to freeze their balls off? KeyArena, Seattle Center, 628-0888. $12-$50. Wed-Sat at 7:30 pm; also Thurs at 10:30 pm, Sat at noon & 3:30 pm, Sun at 1 & 4:30 pm. Through Nov 11.


NUTS & CREAMY NOUGAT

The ear-candy of Scott Warrender, Northwest musical parodist extraordinaire. Cabaret de Paris, Rainier Square, 1333 Fifth Ave, 2nd level, 623-4111. $45 (dinner & show), $18 (show only). The show starts Thurs/Sun at 8 pm, Fri-Sat at 8:30 pm. Through Nov 10.


LATE NIGHT


YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN

A staging of the Mel Brooks film. Is it really a good idea to put actors in a position where they'll be compared to Gene Wilder and Madeleine Kahn, two of the greatest comic talents of our time? Stepping Stone Productions at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 325-6500. $6. Fri-Sat at 11 pm. Through Nov 17.


LONG RUNS

CABARET: THE RESURRECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.

JET CITY IMPROV at ArtsWest, 938-0339; at the Ethnic Cultural Theater (Note new location), 781-3879.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at A Contemporary Theatre, 292-7676.

MYSTERIAN at Illusionz Magical Entertainment Center, Issaquah, (425) 427-2444.

QUEER AS A THREE DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, (800) 992-8499.

THEATERSPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.