Thursday, Sept 14

8:00 CBS SURVIVOR

Season premiere! This season the tribes are divided up according to race. Something tells me this was a honky's idea.

Friday, Sept 15

11:00 A&E MI-5

Season premiere! If you loved Alias (when it was good), don't miss this dark series about British intelligence.

Monday, Sept 18

10:00 NBC STUDIO 60ON THE SUNSET STRIP

Debut! A behind-the-scenes sneaky peek of an SNL wannabe, from hot poop producer Aaron Sorkin!

Tuesday, Sept 19

9:00 CBS THE UNIT

Season premiere! This unintentionally hilarious military drama returns with more weepy wives and terrorist ass-kickin'.

Wednesday, Sept 20

8:00 CW AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

Season premiere! Tyra Banks is back with another gaggle of empty-headed models. Let's get FIERCE! No time for e-mail! Use telepathy!

steve@thestranger.com