Thursday, July 28

9:00 NBC THE LAW FIRM
Debut! Slimy real-life lawyers battle it out in the courtroom to make even more money. Not greedy at all.

9:00 FOX THE O.C.
Dook! Dook! Dook! Drunky Kirsten gets a good talkin' to from teetotaler Sandy.

Friday, July 29

8:00 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
Catch up on this hilarious past season with four back-to-back episodes.

11:00 COM WEEKENDS AT THE D.L.
Debut! Comedian D. L. Hughley gets his own weekend talk show (presumably to make up for the MIA Dave Chappelle).

Saturday, July 30

9:00 SCIFI BLOODSUCKERS—Movie
(2005) Astronaut comman-dos open up a can of intergalactic whup-ass on a gang of outer-space vampires. Yee-HAW!

Sunday, July 31

10:00 TNT WANTED
Debut! Gary Cole leads a team of hotshit cops who tracks down the crooks no one else can!

10:00 HBO ENTOURAGE
More Mandy Moore trouble for Vince, whose role in James Cameron's Aquaman hangs in the balance.

Monday, August 1

8:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN
Season finale! Chef Ramsay rewards the final contestant with his own restaurant, and tells him he's a fuckin' idiot.

8:00 ABC THE SIXTH SENSE—Movie
(1999) Bruce Willis stars as a psychologist who learns that dead people are just as annoying as everyone else.

Tuesday, August 2

8:00 NBC MEET MISTER MOM
Debut! It's Papa Potter versus Papa Smith in a competition to see who can be the most bumbling dad EVER!

10:00 COM RENO 911
Gay-themed hilarity ensues when the deputies are put in charge of guarding Liberace's piano.

Wednesday, August 3

8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?
Well? Do ya? Then c'mon! Why don't you bring it? Right here on the dance floor, pal! Check this out... hot-cha-cha! You just got SERVED!

10:00 FX OVER THERE
The troops are sent to guard a remote checkpoint to keep the Iraqis from escaping to safety. Yay, America!

23-Skidooooooo! steve@thestranger.com