Thursday, August 18
9:30 COM COMEDY CENTRAL ROAST: PAMELA ANDERSONComedians spend an hour making fun of Pamela Anderson, which is the comedy equivalent to cow tipping.
10:30 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIAThe gang stumbles onto a new way of making money for the bar—serving underage patrons!
11:00 BRAVO HIDDEN HOWIEDebut! Annoying comic Howie Mandel stars in this sitcom/prank show where he, surprisingly, annoys people.
Friday, August 19
10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICAPresident Roslin is forced to put her trust in sexy Cylon robot Boomer.
11:00 VH1 GENE SIMMONS' ROCK SCHOOLDebut! Gene meets the English prissy-pots whom he's supposed to turn into a heavy metal band.
Saturday, August 20
9:00 SPIKE THE ART OF ACTIONA documentary on how ancient martial arts have been transformed into modern-day movie chop-socky!
Sunday, August 21
9:00 HBO SIX FEET UNDERSeries finale! The final episode of the award-winning series, and rest assured, the shit will hit the fan!
10:15 HBO ENTOURAGEScared of a sinking
Aquaman, the studio tries to break up Vince and his drippy gal-pal, Mandy Moore.
Monday, August 22
10:00 TLC FACE EATING TUMORUnfortunately, this is about doctors who remove the world's largest facial tumor—not a tumor who goes around eating faces.
Tuesday, August 23
9:00 NBC TOMMY LEE GOES TO COLLEGEDumb as a stump Tommy sweats some upcoming exams in this surprisingly charming series.
9:30 NBC THE OFFICEMichael nearly turns an interoffice basketball game into a race war.
Wednesday, August 24
8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?The contestants are whittled down to 14, which means this show may finally become interesting.
9:00 BRAVO BATTLE OF THE NETWORK REALITY STARSReality has-beens battle it out on the playing field and off in this stupidly entertaining game show.
Tongues and kids don't mix. steve@thestranger.com