Thurs, September 1

8:00 FOX PRISON BREAKMissed it the first time? Catch this repeat of the first episode of TV's buzziest hit of the new season!10:00 A&E ANATOMY OF SEPTEMBER 11Hey depression lovers! This documentary details the final 102 minutes of the World Trade Center.

Fri, September 2

8:00 UPN THE REAL CANCUN—Movie(2003) The first (and probably last) "reality movie," which documents 16 nude-loving coeds on spring break. A hilariously bad camp classic!

Sat, September 3

9:00 SCI-FI FRANKENFISH—Movie(2004) A genetically altered fish goes fishing for human ass!9:00 E! KILL REALITYWhile filming a horror movie, a reality cast member gets buried alive.

Sun, September 4

2:00 A&E 24Set your TiVo for a marathon of the fourth (and best) season of 24!10:00 HBO ENTOURAGEAri gets fired from the agency, and Vince quits the Aquaman movie in this cliff-hanging season finale!

Mon, September 5

8:00 FOX NANNY 911Season Premiere! The nannies rush to the rescue when dumbass parents can't control their three asshole kids.9:00 FOX PRISON BREAKRegular Time Slot! Michael learns that "tossing a salad" doesn't necessarily involve tongs and vinaigrette.

Tues, September 6

10:00 COM RENO 911!Season Finale! Weigel's death-row boyfriend proposes to her—and then gets sent to the chair.10:30 MTV THE '70s HOUSESeason Finale! The kids are implanted with microchips forcing them to continue wearing polyester and humming "I Think I Love You" for the rest of their lives.

Wed, September 7

8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCEThis annoyingly addictive show is down to its last 10 dancers. Shake that ass!11:00 BRAVO A.S.S.S.S.C.A.T. IMPROVThe famous NYC improv troupe break out the funny in this one-hour comedy special.