Thursday, Dec 1

8:00 ABC THE LIFE OF POPE JOHN PAUL II—MovieThe TV movie version of Pope John Paul's life, which will include plenty of explosions and hot chicks.8:00 FOX THE O.C.While Ryan, Seth, and Summer ponder what to do after graduation, Johnny is busy being hit by a car.

Friday, Dec 2

8:00 ABC SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN' TO TOWNThe most awesome of the creepy wooden puppet Christmas specials, featuring the Winter Warlock!9:00 CBS KNOTS LANDING REUNIONThe original cast of this classic nighttime soap reunites to stab each other in the back.

Saturday, Dec 3

8:30 FOX INTERROGATION ROOMActual interrogations of actual criminal suspects! Hey, what are you doing with that rubber hose?

Sunday, Dec 4

8:00 SPIKE SCARFACE—Movie(1983) Al Pacino stars as the most hilarious coke-snorting Cuban crime boss ever!9:00 ABC DESPERATE HOUSEWIVESLynette brings her rotten kids to work, causing office suicide rates to spike.

Monday, Dec 5

8:00 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENTYAY! AD is back, and retarded Rita's uncle is racing to stop the wedding.9:00 SCIFI THE TRIANGLEDebut! An eccentric billionaire forms a team of scientist-adventurers to take on the Bermuda Triangle. Boooo, Bermuda Triangle!

Tuesday, Dec 6

9:00 NBC MY NAME IS EARLEarl attempts to atone for all the crappy Christmas presents he's given to Joy.9:30 NBC THE OFFICEMichael attempts to "spice up" the office's Secret Santa gift exchange. Horror and misery ensue.

Wednesday, Dec 7

9:00 UPN VERONICA MARSVeronica faces an adult's worst nightmare—being selected for jury duty!10:00 ABC ALIASAfter bombing in its Thursday time slot, Alias (and Jennifer Garner's underpants) moves to Wednesdays.Still flamboyant after all these years. steve@thestranger.com