Thursday, Dec 1
8:00 ABC THE LIFE OF POPE JOHN PAUL II—MovieThe TV movie version of Pope John Paul's life, which will include plenty of explosions and hot chicks.
8:00 FOX THE O.C.While Ryan, Seth, and Summer ponder what to do after graduation, Johnny is busy being hit by a car.
Friday, Dec 2
8:00 ABC SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN' TO TOWNThe most awesome of the creepy wooden puppet Christmas specials, featuring the Winter Warlock!
9:00 CBS KNOTS LANDING REUNIONThe original cast of this classic nighttime soap reunites to stab each other in the back.
Saturday, Dec 3
8:30 FOX INTERROGATION ROOMActual interrogations of actual criminal suspects! Hey, what are you doing with that rubber hose?
Sunday, Dec 4
8:00 SPIKE SCARFACE—Movie(1983) Al Pacino stars as the most hilarious coke-snorting Cuban crime boss ever!
9:00 ABC DESPERATE HOUSEWIVESLynette brings her rotten kids to work, causing office suicide rates to spike.
Monday, Dec 5
8:00 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENTYAY!
AD is back, and retarded Rita's uncle is racing to stop the wedding.
9:00 SCIFI THE TRIANGLEDebut! An eccentric billionaire forms a team of scientist-adventurers to take on the Bermuda Triangle. Boooo, Bermuda Triangle!
Tuesday, Dec 6
9:00 NBC MY NAME IS EARLEarl attempts to atone for all the crappy Christmas presents he's given to Joy.
9:30 NBC THE OFFICEMichael attempts to "spice up" the office's Secret Santa gift exchange. Horror and misery ensue.
Wednesday, Dec 7
9:00 UPN VERONICA MARSVeronica faces an adult's worst nightmare—being selected for jury duty!
10:00 ABC ALIASAfter bombing in its Thursday time slot,
Alias (and Jennifer Garner's underpants) moves to Wednesdays.
Still flamboyant after all these years. steve@thestranger.com