Thursday, Dec 15

8:00 FOX THE O.C.It's a very special Chrismukkah when Ryan gets Bar Mitz-vahkkahed to help the crippled Johnny.9:00 NBC THE APPRENTICESeason Finale! It's down to that one dude vs. the chick on crutches. Does anybody really watch this anymore?

Friday, Dec 16

8:00 ABC A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMASCharlie Brown learns the true meaning of the holiday, and he's more depressed than ever.8:00 TOON HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS!Yay! The cartoon version, not the stoopid movie starring ass-eater Jim Carrey.

Saturday, Dec 17

8:00 ABC THE SOUND OF MUSIC—Movie(1965) An Austrian widower avoids the Nazis and gets freaky-deaky with the nanny. Oh yeah, and they sing.

Sunday, Dec 18

8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONSIt's a trilogy of Christmas-themed shorts, including "I Saw Grandpa Cussing Santa Claus."9:00 PBS MASTERPIECE THEATREA terrific repeat of the Emmy-award winner for best mini-series, The Lost Prince.

Monday, Dec 19

8:00 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENTLucille's face-lift inspires a horror movie. By the way, I'm ready to sacrifice one of my pinky toes if Fox will keep this show on the air.8:00 NBC DEAL OR NO DEALDebut! A rip-off of Let's Make a Deal starring Howie "Why Do People Keep Hiring Me?" Mandel.

Tuesday, Dec 20

9:00 ABC BARBARA WALTERS: HEAVENHeaven: Is it a city built on fluffy clouds and populated with goody two-shoes, or a figment of an oppressive government's imagination? Barbara Walters investigates!

Wednesday, Dec 21

10:00 TVLAND SIT DOWN COMEDYKind of like Inside the Actors Studio for comedians, director/comic David Steinberg interviews Larry David.10:00 ABC LOSTA repeat of the episode that shows what the tail-section survivors were doing for their first 48 days. Turns out, not much.E-mail your apologies to God via steve@thestranger.com