10:30 COM THE MAN SHOW
Adam and Jimmy set out to boost the ratings for their show with the new installment "Sock Puppet Porn."
9:00 FOX O'REILLY VS. HOLLYWOOD
Fathead gasbag Bill O'Reilly offers his skewed right-wing vision about what's wrong with the movie industry.
6:30 ESPN2 NATIONAL SPELLING BEE
Uptight elementary school nerds wet their pants at the National Spelling Bee!
9:00 FOX BACHELORETTES IN ALASKA
Hot 'n' horny sluts are on the hunt for big 'n' beefy man-chunks in the land of grizzlies and guns. Good luck, gals!
10:00 DSC FREAK ACCIDENTS
A show about people who are killed or wounded in hilariously weird ways--and then have the nerve to claim it wasn't their fault!
8:30 FOX AMERICAN IDOL
Debut! Hopefuls travel to audition for a recording contract and to be told they suck big hippo dick.
8:00 USA SUDDEN DEATH--Movie
(1995) Jean-Claude "Wham-Bam" Van Damme uses his martial arts skills and tight ass to protect the V.P. at a hockey game!
Trumping tragedy since 1994. steve@thestranger.com