Film

This Week on TV

8:00 ABC EXCESS BAGGAGE--Movie

(1997) Poor little rich girl Alicia Silverstone goes on the lam with Hottie McTottie convict Benicio Del Toro!

9:00 A&E THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE--Movie

(1981) Drifter Jack Nicholson gets his middle-aged groove on with married waitress Jessica Lange, and... whoopee! Murder ensues.

5:00 AMC LAWRENCE OF ARABIA--Movie

(1962) Faced with the daunting task of uniting the Arab tribes with the Turks, the Brits call in flamboyant officer Lawrence! ("Flamboyant" naturally meaning "gay.")

7:00 ABC PETER PAN-- Cartoony

(1953) Flying boy in green tights and a fairy who wants to "tinker" his "bell."

9:00 AMC LOVE STORY--Movie

(1970) Rich boy falls for poor girl in this purely heterosexual romantic tale (which gays seem to love).

8:00 NBC THE RERUN SHOW

Comedians re-enact classic sitcom scripts (and throw in a lot of funny i sncest jokes).

8:00 COM CRANK YANKERS

A marathon of episodes featuring dirty-talkin' puppets making prank phone calls to unsuspecting dimwits. (Waitasecond... is that my phone ringing?)

I'll forward your letters to Tracy.

steve@thestranger.com