9:00 USA FEAR--Movie

(1996) While riding a roller coaster, Marky Mark diddles Reese Witherspoon's fiddle.

8:00 ABC IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN

The Peanuts gang fear for their lives after Linus is found mutilated in the pumpkin patch.

9:00 MTV MAKING THE BAND

Sean "P. Doody" Combs jumps on the American Idol bandwagon in an attempt to make another million bucks.

9:00 ABC ALIAS

Sydney flips her electric-blue wig after finding out a startling secret about her pop!

8:00 FOX BOSTON PUBLIC

The staff attempts to figure out what started a school riot, and ignores the obvious cause: New Kid on the Block Joey McIntyre has joined the cast! EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

9:00 FOX 24

Season Premiere! Jack's back with a new 24-hour adventure. This time the Prez thinks there's a nuclear bomb hidden in an all-night waffle house!

9:00 NBC THE WEST WING

President Bartlet debates his GOP competitor (who's almost as dumb as Bush).

Need to borrow my buttless pants?

E-mail steve@thestranger.com