Film

This Week on TV

9:00 NBC WILL & GRACE Will forms an anti-romance club with Karen and special guest star Gene "Willy Wonka" Wilder!

10:00 NBC ER The floppy-armed Dr. Romano has a floppy-armed freak-out and seizes control of the ER.

8:00 FOX FASTLANE When the Candy Store goes undercover as a crystal meth shop, the gang is unprepared for the number of tweakers banging at the door.

8:00 USA THE RUDY GIULIANI STORY--Movie (2003) The conservative former NYC mayor (and butthole) is played by conservative former popular actor (and butthole) James Woods.

8:00 NBC THE MAKING OF FEAR FACTOR Find out where they buy all those cow eyeballs, and where they find interns willing to eat them.

8:00 TOON HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE Man-At-Arms is "captured" by evil crablike creatures. Can He-Man return from the drugstore in time to help him?

9:00 WB BLACK SASH Russell Wong (Romeo Must Die) stars as a chop-socky kung fu cop assigned to teach hotsy-totsy teens the sexy ways of the dragon.

9:00 HBO SIX FEET UNDER Rico literally has his hands full when a "wide-load" corpse shows up at the morgue.

10:00 FX CELEBRITY BOXING If you missed it the first time, check out this hilarious repeat of washed-up celebs duking it out in the ring!

9:00 NBC CHER: THE FAREWELL TOUR Calling all gays! Concert footage, clips from her past, and tearful testimony from plastic surgeons mark this salute to the wonder and horror that is Cher.

10:00 FX LUCKY Debut! John Corbett (Sex and the City) stars as a Las Vegas gambling addict who for reasons known only to him continues to live in Las Vegas.

9:00 WB ANGEL Cordelia's baby has just popped out, and she's already becoming evil. Whatever happened to waiting until puberty??

9:00 TRAV WORLD POKER TOUR This entertaining poker competition not only teaches you how to play the game, it gives you the opportunity to say, "Poker? I don't even know her!"

Send your wartime annoyances to steve@thestranger.com.