I hate Mike Farrell, too!! steve@thestranger.com.Thursday, August 128:00 7 TV Movie: Rockford Files: If the Frame Fits... (1996). James Garner returns as Jim Rockford who's blamed for a rash of denture thefts at the rest home.

8:00 13 Teen Choice Awards: Teenagers finally get their vote for what interests them most: pop music celebrities, film stars, and acne cream medications.Friday, August 138:00 16 Baa, Baa, Black Sheep: Pappy and the boys blow the shit out of some Krauts, thanks to some help from guest star, Peter Frampton!

9:30 4 Boy Meets World: Cory (Ben Savage) mistakenly opens up a can of whup-ass on his teacher (real-life brother, Fred Savage).Saturday, August 148:00 11 Movie: The Way We Were (1973). I'm tellin' you, Barbra is like buttah in this love story with Robert Redford.

9:30 MTV World Karaoke Federation: Golden-throated WWF wrestlers compete in a (gulp!) karaoke contest?!?Sunday, August 157:00 TBS TV Movie: First Daughter (1999). Secret Service agent Mariel Hemingway rushes to save the daughter of the Prez, while hooking up with Doug "Not so gay after all" Savant (Melrose Place).

8:00 5 You Asked For It!: Tonight: A lightning-proof suit, and female sumo wrestlers.Monday, August 168:30 4 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?: Debut! Professional crank Regis Philbin tempts contestants with a million smackers.

8:30 13 That '70s Show: On prom night, Eric wants everything perfect. So he rents a motel room, purchases a bottle of T.J. Swann and a new Foghat eight-track!Tuesday, August 178:00 13 Guinness World Records: A man sticks a burning rod in his mouth, and we meet the world's hairiest family!Wednesday, August 188:00 7 Martial Law: Annoying R&B singer Ginuwine is shot, and Sammo hasn't been in the country long enough to know he should just ignore it.

10:30 DSC What Sex Am I?: No, I mean, that's the name of the documentary. See, I know what sex I am. Really, I do. Yep. No questions here! Yesireebob. No doubt about it. Okee-dokey.