8:00 WB POPULAR

Sam and Brooke's latest catfight involves (wouldn't ya know it) boys.

9:00 USA SUDDEN DEATH--Movie

(1995) Jean-Claude "Wham-Bam" Van Damme stars as a hockey-playing fire marshal who likes beating the puck out of everybody.

5:00 AMC HITCHCOCK MARATHON

The films of Alfred Hitchcock are celebrated, starting with his poopiest, The Birds (1963).

9:00 WB TOUCHED ON THE SWIMSUIT AREA BY AN ANGEL

The angels attempt to save a dying man, but have to lay a big Christian guilt trip on him first.

8:00 TLC THE SECRET WORLD OF SUPERMODELS

Surprising facts about supermodels including these revelations: Sometimes they eat a full meal, and at least two know how to do long division.

8:00 PAY BOXING

Oscar De La "Hubba Hubba" Hoya takes on "Sugar" Shane Mosely in this pay-per-view event.

8:00 E! JERRY SPRINGER: BEHIND THE SCENES

Dying to know what happens behind the scenes of Jerry Springer?? Yeah, me neither.

9:00 FOX ALLY McBEAL

Finally! Ally gets a prescription for Prozac. Now, if she can only get a prescription for eating five Arby's Beef & Cheddars.

10:00 COM STRANGERS WITH CANDY

Jeri (the 47-year-old high-school student/ex-crack whore) gets sucked into a love cult!

8:00 WB BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Whoopsy! Another Willow spell goes awry, sending Buffy into a romantic relationship with Spike.

10:30 FX ACTION

The funniest canceled show from last year returns, with Jay Mohr as a dickhead movie producer. Recommended!

8:00 CBS SURVIVOR

The castaways sink to a new level of trembling pansy-ness when a fierce storm hits the island!