Thu., August 31

8:00 FOX ALI: AN AMERICAN HERO--Movie

(2000) A TV movie tracing the float-like-a-butterfly-sting-like-a-bee career of Muhammad Ali!

9:00 AP MONKEY BUSINESS

Monkeys who have their own radio and movie careers. Next they'll be stealing our fast-food jobs!


Fri., September 1

8:00 FOX SEVEN--Movie

(1995) Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt try to catch serial killer Kevin Spacey in the feel-good movie of the century!

8:00 MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS

The yearly award ceremony that pays tribute to the artistic merit of the latest Korn video.


Sat., September 2

9:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

Behind the scenes of the classic black TV show Good Times, starring Jimmy "J. J." Walker. Dyn-o-mite!!

10:00 ABC THE TELEVISION SHOW

Featuring weird-ass television shows and commercials from around the globe!


Sun., September 3

8:00 COM STRANGERS WITH CANDY MARATHON

Four heee-larious episodes featuring Jeri, the former crack whore-turned high-school freshman!

8:00 FX JACKIE BROWN--Movie

(1997) Quentin Tarantino's (remember him?) caper about an airline attendant (Pam Grier) trying to gyp some arms dealers.


Mon., September 4

6:00 ABC MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Are ya ready for some football?!? (Groan. Me neither.) This week it's the Broncos vs. the (yawn) Rams.

8:30 NIK FACTS OF LIFE MARATHON

Yahoo! Multiple episodes of this classic series starring Blaire, Natalie, Jo, and (my personal favorite) Tootie!


Tue., September 5

8:00 WB BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Oz (Seth Green) returns to win the heart of Willow... but whoopsy! She's up and gone lesbian!

8:00 FAM FREAKS AND GEEKS

Hurrah! Freaks and Geeks has returned! Now don'tcha wish you had cable?


Wed., September 6

8:00 HIS DR. GUILLOTIN AND HIS EXECUTION MACHINE

Kind of like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, except your head gets lopped off.