8:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS

Rory's boyfriend expresses his undying love for her, while I sit here feeling like chopped liver!

9:00 WB CHARMED

A botched spell makes Prue experience all the pain in the world. (Girl--I know how you feel... did you hear about Rory's b-friend?)

8:00 E! MYSTERIES AND SCANDALS

The scandalous life of the hilarious Paul Lynde (Uncle Arthur on Bewitched).

9:00 WB POPULAR

Lilly decides to battle homophobia by establishing an annual "Hooray for the Gays Day!"

8:00 USA THE DAY AFTER--TV Movie

(1983) The classic nuclear holocaust miniseries that scared the shit out of us in high school!

10:30 COM THE MAN SHOW

Jimmy and Adam reenact scenes from Porky's.

9:00 VH1 BEHIND THE MUSIC

Don't you want to know how they made the movie Flashdance? Well, maybe I'm interested, okay??

9:00 NBC THE LOST EMPIRE--TV Movie

(2001) A businessman, his sidekicks, and a really weird monkey fight demons for a Chinese manuscript.

Monday, March 12

8:00 ABC COLUMBO--TV Movie

(2001) Hey look, everybody! Peter Falk isn't dead! (Hmmm... at least I think he's not....)

8:30 NIK DIFF'RENT STROKES

Hilarity ensues when Arnold and Willis overthrow their white oppressor (Mr. Drummond) and start up a junior Black Panthers club.

8:00 WB BUFFY, THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Spike flashes back to the good old days of biting, burning, and pillaging with Drusilla.

9:00 FOX DARK ANGEL

Max realizes that she can use the bar code on the back of her neck to get free hot dogs at the 7-Eleven.

9:30 ABC THE JOB

Debut! Comedian Dennis Leary stars as a smart-mouth cop (surprise!) in this dirty new police drama.