8:00 NBC FRIENDS

Joey gets nominated for a daytime Emmy. Hey, if Russell Crowe can win an award, anybody can.

10:00 NBC E.R.

Benton witnesses yet another (ho-hum) gangland shooting in the E.R.

9:00 VH1 BEHIND THE MUSIC: DR. DRE

Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say but nothing comes out when they move their lips just a buncha gibberish and muthafuckas act like you forgot about Dre.

8:00 TNT DEAD POETS SOCIETY--Movie

(1989) Robin Williams talks and talks till a student finally kills himself. (I know how ya feel, kid!)

8:00 TV LAND GET SMART! MARATHON

It's CONTROL vs. KAOS in this hilarious parody of spy flicks, starring Don Adams.

8:00 USA ECO-CHALLENGE

Seventy-six teams competing in Borneo protect the environment by trying to kill themselves in it.

8:30 WB THE OBLONGS

Debut! A new animated series featuring people who have been deformed by toxic waste. Hilarious concept!

9:00 TV LAND BARETTA

Robert Blake stars as the midget cop who busts heads with the help of Sammy Davis Jr. and a pet cockatoo.

10:00 COM TV FUNHOUSE

The Anipals help Chickie rescue his son from a cult!

8:00 CBS COPPERFIELD! TORNADO OF FIRE

Magician David Copperfield traps himself in the vortex of a tornado of fire and wind (which I assume didn't come from his ass).

10:00 ABC NYPD BLUE

The detectives are apprehensive over Lt. Fancy's replacement, Captain Precious.

10:30 COM THAT'S MY BUSH!

Debut! A new sitcom parody about George W. from the sickos who brought you South Park. (And no, I'm not kidding.)