Thursday, October 25

8:00 WB POPSTARS 2

Guys and girls compete for a spot in a crappy pop group, and are hilariously humiliated in the process! Recommended!

8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: AFRICA

It's a bad day for one of the tribes when its members awake to find their asses eaten off by a lion.


Friday, October 26

8:00 TNT RUSH HOUR--Movie

(1998) Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker exchange racial barbs while kicking criminal booty.

8:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

The spotlight is on knee-banging Olympic hopeful Tonya Harding.


Saturday, October 27

9:00 NBC IN & OUT--Movie

(1997) Kevin Kline plays a closeted schoolteacher who smooches Tom Selleck (sans booshy moostache!).

9:00 SCI PSYCHO--Movie

(1998) Gus Van Sant's remake of Hitchcock's classic, starring Anne Heche (who, as it turns out, isn't the psycho in question).


Sunday, October 28

8:00 FX THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT--Movie

(1999) Camping kids get attacked by a demonic force in this Scooby-Doo episode gone horribly awry.

9:00 ABC ALIAS

Sydney gets her hot, tight ass into deep doo-doo when her boss suspects her of being a double agent!


Monday, October 29

8:00 BET BLACULA--Movie

(1972) A blood-suckin' soul brother comes to America to drop the daddy mack on all the fine ladies.


Tuesday, October 30

8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Xander and Anya finally announce their engagement, setting up a big season finale we can spot 100 miles away.

9:00 WB SMALLVILLE

Clark joins the Smallville football team, and discovers a teammate is able to spontaneously set fires--IN MY PANTS!


Wednesday, October 31

9:00 NBC WEST WING

Did I mention that everyone in the cast of Smallville is really, REALLY HOT?

9:00 WB FELICITY

Felicity's attempts to enter a beauty pageant run into a wee snag when she discovers her home pregnancy test is positive! Ka-BOING!!