8:00 WB POPSTARS 2
Over 4,000 screaming fans turn up for a band no one has ever freaking heard of before!!
9:00 MTV SEX 2K
An in-depth look at freakos who like to have sex while dressed up like teddy bears.
5:00 AMC THE OMEN MARATHON
Damien's parents flip their wigs after discovering their kid is the anti-Christ, in this marathon of all three Omen movies!
8:00 A&E BIOGRAPHY
The life and times of #7 on my list of the greatest actors of all time, Patrick Swayze!
10:00 COM SOUTH PARK
The new paraplegic in town threatens to steal Timmy's spotlight in this episode sensitively titled "Cripple Fight!"
10:00 TRAV THE DAY OF THE DONGA
I don't have anything to say regarding this documentary about the Mursi tribe... but it sure is a funny title!
8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS
Death, destruction, and bitter tears ensue after the family engages in a game of Monopoly.
9:00 ABC ALIAS
Sydney's dad is accused of killing a bunch of CIA agents, as well as withholding 14 years of her allowance.
8:00 NBC FEAR FACTOR
Host Joe Rogan convinces ordinary people to inject Ebola into their eyeballs for cash and prizes.
9:00 VH1 25 YEARS OF PUNK
Lou Reed limps down memory lane to recall the founding fathers of punk.
8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Buffy stumbles into an invisibility ray, which means no one can see her new haircut. Yes, I said NEW HAIRCUT!!
9:00 TVLAND THE ROCKFORD FILES
While working on a case, Rockford gets kidnapped and beaten to a pulp in this episode that sounds strangely similar to all the other episodes I've seen.
9:00 CBS MICHAEL JACKSON: 30TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION
A repeat of one of the weirdest two hours of television I've ever seen! Don't miss it!