8:00 ABC A CHARLIE BROWN VALENTINE
Who could ever love YOU, Charlie Brown? You're ugly! And bald! And... wanna kick this football?
8:00 FOX AMERICAN PIE--Movie
(1999) Boy meets pie, boy has sex with pie, audience loses appetite for pie.
10:00 ABC THE IN-CROWD
AND SOCIAL CRUELTY
An ABC special report on unpopular kids who are subjected to "bullying, isolation, and marred identity." Ha! Ha! I always wondered what happened to those nerds!
8:00 UPN DIRTY HARRY--Movie
(1971) Clint Eastwood stars as an L.A. cop back in the days when it was cool to indiscriminately kill people.
8:00 MTV MARDI GRAS 2002
"The Drunken Student Channel" broadcasts this booby-flashing special.
8:00 TBS TOP GUN--Movie
(1986) Tom Cruise defends his country by playing shirtless beach volleyball.
10:00 ANI AMAZING ANIMAL VIDEOS
Animal couplings that defy God's laws: crow and kitten, duck and dog, and (gasp!) dachshund and cordless phone!
9:00 HBO SIX FEET UNDER
David attends a mortician's convention in Las Vegas and gets busted by the cops for banging a male hooker!!
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