IF YOU ARE A HOTEL EMPLOYEE AND WANNA GET BUSY WITH A GUEST:
1. Check out your desired guest's registration record. Make sure he or she isn't part of upper management in your hotel chain, a member of the vice squad, or in town to participate in a genital-wart study at the UW.
Stranger Personals
2. Err on the side of caution. Make sure of the guest's lustful intentions before going for the ass-grab. Your job is at stake, and you don't want to cause any heart attacks.
3. Show up with the extra toilet tissue and complimentary hand lotion the guest "requested." Several times if necessary.
4. Come to the door on your knees. Bob your head.
5. Ask.
IF YOU ARE A HOTEL GUEST AND WANNA MAKE DIDDLY WITH AN EMPLOYEE:
1. Hit the lobby and check out the goods. Window-shopping is a must. You don't want to discover Jabba the Hut in a bellman's cap drooling in your doorway with the extra towels you ordered.
2. Get names; make chitchat. Determine the atmosphere of your particular hotel. While sex with hotel employees is not uncommon, you may not want to try it at a Travelodge in Kentucky.
3. Make your intentions crystal clear. It's your job to make certain your hotel worker of choice knows there will be no hysterical calls to management, should they respond to the hand you've so delicately placed down the front of their pants.
4. Request lots of extra toilet tissue and complimentary hand lotion. Several times if necessary.
5. If your object of lust is a male, have some bad softcore hotel porn playing when he arrives. If female, have some bad softcore Enya playing when she arrives.
6. Answer the door naked.
7. Ask.
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