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CITY COUNCIL SHENANIGANS: Last week bass-playin' Pearl Jammer Jeff Ament was sipping a malted (one glass, two straws) with campaigning city council member Margaret Pageler... but lookee what TTS agent Mike saw at the Phish concert at the Gorge Sat 9/11. Now Jeff's macking on comely, robot-like city council candidate Heidi Wills! The two were doin' the twirly hippie dance next to the drum circle. Word to Margaret: Sounds like Charlie Chong's not the only one who should be nervous about pretty Heidi! ··· Meanwhile, imaginative TTS agent James reports seeing another primary winner whooping it up: "At Yesler's finest after-hours club, The Superhighway... there's city council candidate/Bible-thumpin' Reverend, LENORA JONES!! And man, she's got a really huge... charisma! The normally conservative Reverend Jones was shakin' that thing like a salt shaker in A TIGHT PINK VINYL SKIRT! She gets my vote, Shirley!" Gosh, I really WANT to believe you, James, but I get the feeling Steinbrueck'll get you in the end.
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BIG FAT LIAR!! Marc writes, "I saw Sarah Michelle Gellar on the #7 bus on Tues 9/14 in the morning. Everyone was staring at her! Okay, so maybe it was someone who looks exactly like her -- but she must have a miserable life, what with people staring at her all the time!" Buffy on the #7 bus? Whaddaya think, readers? Is Marc a big fat liar? Or is he just another lonely TTS-lovin' crackhead looking for attention?
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SHE WORKS HARD FOR IT, HONEY! At the Donna Summer concert Fri 9/10 TTS superstar Tom claims he "and half of the Manray clientele" spotted Our Lady of Mattresses, Sunny Kobe Cook, gettin' jiggy wit a "poorly coiffed boytoy." Here's the report: "He was seductively feeding her bite-sized Baby Ruths as Sunny moaned in ecstasy -- she downed at least six of those things before engaging Mr. Boytoy in a shameless bump and grind to the tune of 'Bad Girls.'" Tom hoots, "What a display! Made me want to go home and flip my mattress!"
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THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS MEAT LOAF: Rock 'n' roll embarrassment Meat Loaf debuts a startling new name in the upcoming film Crazy in Alabama: He's now called Meat Loaf Aday. (Or maybe that's his diet?) And golly, this looks like a great film, featuring a teen boy named "Peejoe" and 50-ish Melanie Griffith (speaking of plastic surgery) playing a young chickie (which she could only get away with in a flick directed by henpecked hubby Antonio Banderas).
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KA-CHING! Wanna win a pinball machine? Get thee to the multiball magazine release party, Fri 10/1 at the OK Hotel, where they're raffling one off! (multiball #18, "Pin Geeks on the Midway," comes with a bonus vinyl 7" of Hot Pinball Rock).
Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies. Shirley@thestranger.com
