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TWO FREAKY BROADS! Just before Xmas, who was spotted on the downtown shopping beat but '80s Dynasty bleach-blond Linda "Yanni's ex" Evans, along with nutty New Age channeler JZ Knight! (The Z's for Zebra. Really.) The "out-there" pair and two girlfriends (all wearing black hats -- WOW!!) wore lots of makeup (they're old! duh!) and "chattered like wild birds" as they spent a small fortune (think two months' rent) at zgallerie. Linda alone dropped $400... on SILK FLOWERS!! A holiday gift for her favorite 35,000-year-old Lemurian warrior, perhaps? Let's just say that at JZ's Yelm estate (www.ramtha.com), it was "A Very Ramtha Christmas"!
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HOW EMBARRASSING: Columnist Amy Reiter notes in the 1/7/00 Salon (www.salon.com): "At the CES electronics trade show this week, Bill Gates donned a purple velvet suit.... Dubbing himself 'Austin Gates, International Man of Technology,' the Microsoft mogul boasted, 'I put the "sin" in 'syntax,' baby!'" Oygh! You can dress him up, but... no, wait. You can't even dress him up.
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THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR LICKING: Wed 1/5, 1 pm, Ronna was browsing in ladies' shoes at the downtown Nordstrom when she sighted Laurelhurst socialite/KIRO news anchor Susan Hutchison. Ronna gasps, "She was prancing around in a pair of black leather STILETTO boots!! These boots looked like they belonged on a dominatrix -- 3-1/2" heels, with VERY pointy toes. I wandered closer and heard Susan asking if they had anything with a HIGHER HEEL.... I almost expected her to ask if they had any matching riding crops!!"
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YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY! Wed 1/5 "M" spotted hunk-a-licious rocker Chris Cornell meandering through the Broadway Market. OH! MY! GOD! Chris walked alone, car keys in hand, looking "fragile and sleepy, sophisti-perfect in faded jeans and a turtleneck navy sweater (even rock stars own nubbly comfort wear!)." Where did Mr. Dreamboat shop? The GAP!
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I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE HELL: Someone claiming to be perennial candidate Dawn Mason complains that in my 12/30 column I only sent white people to Hell!! Hey, I got maybe six non-whites out of... 60? Okay, "Dawn," you got it! GO TO HELL! No whitebread millennial paradise for you, or for yakkity activist Omari Tahir and his cutie-pie son Kwame either! Banker man Bob Flowers can go with you! And Chris B. and Chris H. Bennett, your copyediting sucks, so you're outta here! (Hey whitey: Read The Medium!) Dick McIver, you're going DOWN! And take Asst. Police Chief Ed Joiner... please! Crazy Pinoy Productions? Rap in Hell! ··· Hey DJ Riz: Sorry, love, but they need at least ONE brother in Heaven. That'd be you.
New millennium, same ol' Shirl! shirley@thestranger.com.
