SPOTTED SHOE-SHOPPING at the Bellevue Square Nordstrom: KOMO weatherman Steve Pool... solo! Beth tells me he was just standing there, looking a little lost, when an ever-helpful Nordbot swept Steve into Men's Shoes as surely as the Pacific jet stream brings us rain EVERY GODDAMN DAY! Hey Steve: Looks like a 60% chance of loafers! ···You know, when I lived in Ballard I saw Steve dining at Lombardi's Cucina, and shopping for electric geegaws at Ernst. As a consumer, the man has an extraordinarily wide range!

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CURLEY PEED HIMSELF? That's what I gather from a report that first surfaced on The Mountain (the radio station, that is). KING 5 dude John Curley was telling DJs about a weekend trip to Utah where he hung out with athletes. When they were about to mount the bobsled for a high-speed ride, Curley was strongly advised to bathroomize. But turns out Johnny's pee-shy, and couldn't make water--that is, until the x-treme g forces came to bear on his bladder, and Mr. Evening Magazine had an "unfortunate accident." Oopsy!

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ROLL CALL! Sun 2/28 afternoon, "Mona" spotted Pulitzer-winning playwright August Wilson (Seven Guitars, Two Trains Running), in a tweed jacket and cap, at the Safeway on Broadway. The professorial-looking dramaturge was browsing near the Plexiglas cigarette case when he gave our snoopy spy Mona the biggest shock of her weekend: "Imagine my surprise when he reached for the rolling papers!" Yes, Mona, continue... aren't you going to tell me about the pack of Drum tobacco he got to go with his papers? He did buy tobacco, didn't he? DIDN'T HE??

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SHOVY McSCHWARZ REDUX: Two people have emerged from the shadows to defend Seattle Symphony conductor Gerard Schwarz from recent unkind reports published in this column. No "orchestrated" letter-writing campaigns from Symphony musicians, nothin' like that... but there's a lone Symphony crew member who swears Schwarz is a cuddly li'l care bear at rehearsals. Also, one waiter insists that Gerard, a "regular" at his restaurant, always treats "the help" with kindness and respect--and best of all, the Maestro Man's one generous tipper! For his part, Schwarzy sez in a 1997 Seattle Times interview, "It doesn't matter if the players like me. Conducting can't be a popularity contest." Hmmf!! ···Are you pro or con? I breathlessly await more Schwarz chat!

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I SMELL A GRAMMY nominee! He got ripped off in the end, but everybody's favorite producer, Kurt Bloch, had a field day slumming with the weasels at the Grammy awards ceremony. His work on Nashville Pussy's Let Them Eat Pussy CD got him nominated in the "Best Metal Performance" category. (Metallica won.) Congratulations, Kurt--it's about fucking time they noticed you!

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VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA!! Guess who? Yep, it's Susan Powter! I watched her in action last week at Freehold, where she was previewing her one-woman show, The Politics of Stupid. First, let me just say: $25 admission, and the management couldn't manage to schlep down to Texaco and buy a roll of toilet paper? The 98% female audience had to drip dry! That said, Ms. Powter is on fire. All she had to do was speak the truth about food and feminism--she made me laugh, she made me cry... and ultimately she enraged me. Which, of course, was her intention. Susan's brilliant, and thanks to a bombshell dress and (I can only hope) fabulous push-up bra, her breasts were on magnificent display. One thing, goddess: I never said you eat vending machine food--you just carp about it!

VAGINA!! shirley@thestranger.com