WHAT A BEE-YOOO-TIFUL WORLD! Out for a morning walk with his pooch, Seattle Opera director Speight Jenkins simply beamed with a love and joy so infectious that passing strangers on the street commented, "Who is that man? He's sheer magic!" 路 路 路 Meantime, night-time is the right time for another artsy fartsy bigwig, who was spotted gettin' it awwwun with a gal--not his wife--in the Re-bar parking lot! Who, you ask? For shame! Shirley's lips are sealed! Miss Dina Martina's highly arousing show had just ended when our witness spied this amorous encounter in progress. Looks like somebody's got Spring Fever!

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WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE? A FREAKIN' LIBRARY? Which rock star is often seen on TV, and is actually shorter--and handsomer--than he looks on TV, and spent his lunch hour flippin' through music mags at the Pacific Place Barnes & Noble on Fri 4/9? Why, it's the (graying and--rrowrr!--distinguished) Rob Zombie! So notes my ogling friend Dariene! 路 路 路 And Sat 4/10, brunching at the Longshoreman's Daughter in Fremont (where, if you'll recall, Gillian Anderson was recently spotted ducking horny David Duchovny), was handsome Pearl Jammer Jeff Ament, looking like a freaking hippie (as usual).

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AND SPEAKING OF HIPPIES... Who's that guy on Alki Beach, with the plastic bags, picking up YOUR GODDAMN GARBAGE? It's Paul! Paul's just a local guy who wanted to enjoy a rare shot of spring sun--but when he got to the beach he was heartbroken at all the pop cans and burger wrappers left behind by all you YUPPIES, TRANSPLANTS, AND DIMWITS! So Paul went to the store and spent his last $7 on plastic bags and rubber gloves, and picked up YOUR trash for a few hours. 路 路 路 And it's not just the tourist spots that get shat upon: I live in central Seattle--near an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, for chrissakes--and there's candy wrappers, ciggie packs, empty 40-ouncers, and McDonald's cups EVERYWHERE. And I'm told it's no better in Ballard! Hey Paul: Thanks to your example, I've had it! This weekend I'm going to make my clean dream a reality... and pick up that fucking trash myself! Readers, feel free to do the same!

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WHY'S EVERYBODY SMILING over at The End? Seems The Stranger's (and the Real World kids') old pal Aubbie is leaving her post as KNDD Promotions Director!! Maybe now The Stranger can get a frickin' press pass to Endfest this summer! (Fingers crossed!)

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TEXACO TALK: It's official! Texaco stations are the place to see and be seen if you're anybody who's everybody! (Or something like that....) Tall Slovenian Seattle Sonic Vladimir Stepania was spotted pumping gas into his classy Chrysler Concorde at the Pike & Broadway Texaco. He was all alone--and no wonder! That purple, red, & black leather jacket he was wearing was a Eurotrash embarrassment! (But in Vlad's defense: when you're that tall, you can't shop just anywhere.) 路 路 路 And up at the Snoqualmie summit Texaco, there was former crazed House of Pain frontman, now soul-filled solo artist Everlast! It was just a year ago that the almost-30 Everlast nearly died of massive cardiac arrest, and while he's not above capitalizing on this life-changing event--in interviews he blabs about how spiritual and "merciful" he's become, and even put his chest scar on the cover of his latest CD!--you have to wonder if he's learned anything. Our pal Erica saw him at the gas station buying beef jerky and meaty "Texaco sandwiches"! Who does this guy think he is? Keith Richards?

Write me with your garbage-pickin' escapades!

shirley@thestranger.com