Zac Pennington, my officemate (and music snob), stared blankly at my computer screen.
"Get it? I'm trying to write an entire column using nothing but Aquabats lyrics!"
He silently walked back to his desk.
"You don't like the Aquabats, do you?" I asked.
"No," he answered dryly, pairing his response with a dramatic eye roll.
"Why not?"
"They're a low-rent Devo rip-off band," he stated impatiently.
"There are worse Devo rip-off bands than the Aquabats," I said in defense.
"They're a SKA BAND for chrissakes!"
Okay, so Zac doesn't like them, but I still love the Aquabats. I have since I was 16. And I know that my reputation as a radical badass is now in question but I don't care. I'm down with the Bat Commander and his crew. So much so that after high-school graduation, my sister and I went on a mini road trip to see the Aquabats in San Francisco, Seattle, and Portland.... We're dorks.
But we're not the only dorks. Since their 1996 release, The Return of the Aquabats, the Bats have been attacking their loving (and cultlike) fan base with ridiculous, hilarious songs about silly things like midget pirates, two-headed cats, magic chickens, and monsters living in the bass amp.
Their live shows are 10 times more fun than their records. With the band dressing in matching superhero-style costumes, their shows (of the dozen I've seen) have included fireworks, smoke machines, elaborate stage sets, flying vegetables, and visits from "foes" like the Floating Eye of Death, the Sandfleas, and the Cyclops. Of course, the Aquabats always kick their ass (with help from the crowd) and continue the rock action.
They're more than the cheap Devo rip-off ska band that Zac dismisses them as... they're totally unique in their own right and really fun to watch. And that's why I love them.
I don't have an authentic rash guard, I never bought an Aqua Mask, and no, I'm not an official AquaCadet ($14.99 was a steep price for a girl makin' minimum wage at a daycare), but I do know the Bats' songs well enough to attempt to write an entire column using nothing but their lyrics. (An idea that failed, which is why you're seeing nothing of the sort in this column now.)
Something tells me that I'm not the only Aquabats fan left, which is why I'm not ashamed to come out of the closet, so to speak. I'm guessing that plenty more Cadets are out there, anxiously awaiting the Aquabats' first Northwest appearance in god knows how long, which takes place at Graceland on July 31. So I'll see you all at the show.
And to all the haters in the house (Zac): "Step off, homie."
Oh, I'm such a dork. MEGAN SELING
Need more? You can hear my personal picks for the week on 107.7 The End every Monday and Friday at 5:30 pm during DJ No Name's Afternoon Experiment.
