HEAVY DUTY WEEKEND

Akimbo, Big Business, Doomsday 1999, Lahar, Harkonen, Playing Enemy, the Assailant, and Say 10 Hail Marys all in the same space, all in the same weekend... man, the Old Fire House will be lucky if the walls are still standing when these shows are over! I'm talking about "Heavy Duty Weekend," which is happening this weekend (April 16-17), and it's going to rock your face off.

Though they only play for about 10-15 minutes at a time, the Assailant (Saturday night) blasts your brain with throat-shredding vocals, whipping bass lines, and an ear-piercing guitar that can make your head feel like a pincushion. By the time you realize what's happening, it's already over and you're left standing there, trying to catch your breath, wondering what the hell just happened.

MP3s and video clips of the band are available for download at www.theassailant.com (where there's some good-lookin' new T-shirts for sale), and they're quick downloads too, since the band doesn't seem to have a song over a minute long.

The Assailant is rereleasing its self-titled live EP on Black Matter Records in July (it's being remastered right now), but if you just can't wait to get your hands on something, the band still has a few copies of the old EP available for four bucks at shows and via the website.

And let me tell you about Doomsday 1999 (playing Friday's show). Whoa boy. So I saw these kids for the first time at the Capitol Hill Block Party last year when they played the Vera Project stage. As soon as the set was over I lost all ability to hold a normal conversation. All I could do was stutter out a breathless, "That... is my new... favorite band." And why? Because frontman Zack Carlson ran through the audience putting on all the hats, shirts, and sunglasses he could find while his bandmates thrashed out their quick songs wearing shorter than short denim cut-offs and aviator sunglasses. It's not so much metal, speed-metal, or hardcore as it is just crazy noise, and I'm pretty sure all the band members (which include members of the defunct Teen Cthulhu) are insane.

Both shows start at 8:00 p.m., and they cost only six bucks. You're gonna want to bring earplugs to these shows, kids, that's for sure, and maybe some safety gear too (shin guards, elbow pads, hockey masks... whatever). It is Heavy Duty Weekend, after all. MEGAN SELING

megan@thestranger.com

Need more? You can hear my personal picks for the week on 107.7 The End every Monday and Friday at 8:30 a.m. during DJ No Name's The Morning Alternative.