Not counting the current tiff happening between Oprah and a handful of rap artists including Ice Cube, there really haven't been any juicy disputes in the music world lately. There especially haven't been any of the fantastically entertaining band-versus-band variety. I guess it's a good thing that everyone seems to be getting along, but, man... how boring for us!

So when there's no news to report, sometimes you gotta make the news yourself. What I wanna see happen is this: I want Taking Back Sunday to destroy Panic! at the Disco.

It sounds ridiculous, but hear me out. You gotta fight fire with fire (or in this case, suckage with suckage). The best way to take something down is to beat it at its own game! So while Taking Back Sunday were slightly annoying when they first hit the scene earlier this decade, the unstoppable trend of pseudo-emotional crapcore has gotten much, much worse. Taking Back Sunday need to take back their crown. They need to destroy the new school. They need to take out Panic! at the Disco.

Let's face it: Panic! couldn't exist without TBS. Yeah, it was Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz who "discovered" the band via LiveJournal, but it was TBS's freshly paved road that allowed the Disco dorks (even the Fall Out Boys) to reach the fast and high level of stardom they're experiencing today!

Let's look at the stats:

HISTORY

TBS: They have been credited with founding that whole screamo thing with the 2002 release of their Tell All Your Friends album on Victory Records.

P!ATD: They have no history. They didn't play a real show until after Wentz signed 'em. Before recording their debut, A Fever You Can't Sweat Out, they just played shitty Blink-182 covers.

FRIENDS:

TBS: Spider-Man! They contributed a song to the Spider-Man 2 soundtrack. He's a fan.

P!ATD: They have Pete Wentz. So not as cool as Spider-Man.

FOES:

TBS: Against Me!—the now major-label Florida punk band once locked the boys in their own dressing room before their set at a music festival. Hee-larious!

P!ATD: Me—but I don't really count.

SPECIAL POWER:

TBS: Swinging microphones. TBS's singer Adam Lazzara even knocked out his own bassist, Matt Rubano, during a show once. He's hardcore.

P!ATD: Really straight eyeliner. Not hardcore.

Sounds like a fight! And how perfect that the two bands play back to back at the Premier this week! Taking Back Sunday have Thursday, July 27, and Panic! are following up with a sold-out Friday night show, July 28. The stage is set, boys. Let's get it on.