THURSDAY 12/29

SLEATER-KINNEY, STEPHEN MALKMUS & THE JICKS, QUASI
(Showbox) Party like it's 1999 with this all-star roster of indie-rock superstars. Top of the heap: Sleater-Kinney, who distinguished themselves in 2005 with their riskiest album ever, the love-it-or-hate-it The Woods. For the record, I love it, and the opportunity to hear the ladies bash through its tracks with the momentum of hardcore touring behind them is something no rock lover should miss. For those who prefer melodic introspection over fiery hollers, show up for the openers, Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks and Quasi, who still do quirky male expression better than any of today's whiny whippersnappers. DAVID SCHMADER See also Stranger Suggests, page 23.

MANPLUS, MARLO, THE CHEATS
(Cafe Venus) Before the big New Year's weekend, you best brush up on your dance moves so you don't look like a damned fool. Tonight's lineup will surely offer plenty of opportunity to do just that because Marlo's cute space rock sounds like U.S.E covering the Rentals. Even if you're not the dancing kind, you'll still find a little booty shakin' to be unavoidable at this show. MEGAN SELING

FRIDAY 12/30

ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE: HARVEY DANGER, "AWESOME," LOVE HOTEL, JOHN RODERICK, GAVIN GUSS, JACOB JAMES; COMEDY BY DAVID SCHMADER, BLACK DAISY, CHAMPAGNE, URINE MAN
(Chop Suey) See Stranger Suggests, page 23.

CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN, CRACKER
(Crocodile) Having thoroughly tapped out the fumes that Cracker had been running on since their alt-rock heyday, frontman David Lowery had to think fast: How could he best volley the twin glories of his back catalog—both of Cracker and his previous college-radio staple, Camper Van Beethoven—into the most consistently profitable touring structure? Where a less-creative opportunist might have just opted for a solo tour covering the umbrella materials of his songwriting history, Lowery instead pulled fiscal genius from out of the dollar bin—fronting a package tour of both of his former bands. I mean, what's better than seeing "Take the Skinheads Bowling" AND "Eurotrash Girl" performed by the original members, right? Consider this one more step toward the inevitable day that fading alternative-rock bands start playing casinos. ZAC PENNINGTON

BOB LOG III, WHITE KNUCKLE RIDE, GROWNUP TROUBLE, EDDIE AND THE HELLDREGS
(El Corazón, late) Former Doo Rag slide guitarist Bob Log III makes the rawest rock sound gauchely slick, the leanest blues sound bloated and moribund. White Stripes and Black Keys come off as stodgy arena-rock behemoths compared to Log's one-hombre mulching of both genres' skeletal remains. With his lecherous and scatological lyrical concerns (especially tits and shit), barbed-wire guitar slashing, belligerent bass-drum stomps, and ornery snarl run through a mic attached to a motorcycle helmet, Señor Log raises more hell than a terrorist cell. Guzzle some whiskey and get irresponsible to his rickety racket. DAVE SEGAL

NO-FI SOUL REBELLION, STUNTDOUBLER, WILDE TURKEY
(Comet) Hailing from Bellingham, the married duo of Mark and Andrea Heimer make up No-Fi Soul Rebellion—an iPod-retrofitted white soul band in the tradition of the Make-Up and Jon Spencer. It breaks down like this: Mark jams out all of the instruments at home, slaps it onto an MP3 player that's embedded into the body of Andrea's otherwise useless guitar, and the two of them use all the time that they would otherwise have spent tuning to totally dominate the audience. Sure, it's not high art, but the last time that I saw them, they had an audience full of excited teenagers anxiously following them out into the parking lot. That's got to count for something. ZAC PENNINGTON

NEW FANGS, THE TRASHIES, UNNATURAL HELPERS, CARDBOARD
(Funhouse) There are those who like to rest peacefully the night before New Year's Eve, and then there are those who go full throttle into the last weekend of the year, destroying the leftover dregs of 2005 until it's time to rip open the packaging of 2006. This show is for the latter, offering some of the craziest garage punk Seattle has to offer all on one beer-slick platter. New Fangs mesh the Fall's skewed seriousness with Drive Like Jehu's angular fire. The Trashies live up to their moniker, living la vida Black Lips with total fuck-all attitude. And Unnatural Helpers are one of my picks for new bands to watch in 2006. They're a supergroup of local underground heavies, as their members have played with the Dipers, the Tight Bros, and the Pulses, which makes their lineage thicker than bongwater and a lot more fun to ingest. "Gettin' Classy," a track off the Helpers' five-song demo, blends shrill, ice-pick guitar riffs with bass lines that move like river sludge, while "Mr. Children" whirls off-kilter like a cleaned-up Intelligence song. JENNIFER MAERZ

THE FALL OF TROY, AKIMBO, SCHOOLYARD HEROES
(Old Fire House) The Fall of Troy have had a hell of a year. They released a new record (DoppelgÀnger) on Equal Vision Records and spent months on end touring both America and Europe with bands like Fear Before the March of Flames and the Bled. No doubt they're ready to take a deep breath and be home for a while, and they're marking their return with a homecoming show featuring Akimbo and Schoolyard Heroes. The Heroes had quite a year themselves, which featured touring with Vendetta Red, making a fancy video, and meeting Lil John. It'll surely be a rowdy celebration to mark both the year past and the promising future for all these acts. MEGAN SELING

SATURDAY 12/31

HEAVEN & HELL BALL
(ConWorks) See Stranger Suggests, page 23.

THE LONG WINTERS, THE VILLAGE GREEN, BILL PATTON & THE CREDENTIALS
(Tractor) See Preview, page 29.

BLUE SCHOLARS, WHEEDLE'S GROOVE, TRE KINGS, GUESTS
(Neumo's) The kids will certainly pack the club for the hot-shit hiphop of Blue Scholars, but they'll get the great added bonus of Wheedle's Groove, the stage-filling collective of superstars from Seattle's funk and soul scene of the '60s and '70s. With performers amassing onstage incrementally, a Wheedle's Groove show works a bit like Stop Making Sense, and Wheedle's Groove is at least as conceptually artsy as mid-'80s Talking Heads. At a recent show, five women led by the Total Experience Gospel Choir's Pat Wright dished out a slow and angular take on Soundgarden's "Jesus Christ Pose," while the show opened with a languorous "Hey Jude" that sounded like a mashup between the Beatles standard and the Velvet's "Oh, Sweet Nuthin'." DAVID SCHMADER

HEDWIG'S NEW YEAR'S EVE GLAM-ROCK CIRCUS
(Crocodile) Continuing what appears to be an annual tradition, the brazen and brilliant Nick Garrison is reviving his pitch-perfect portrayal of everyone's favorite German glamour queen with a two hour-plus set of Hedwig classics and glam-rock staples. His nine-piece band will also include the formidable and fierce vocals of Stranger Genius Award recipient Sarah Rudinoff, a woman wielding so much lung-bursting passion and charisma that watching her perform is almost exhausting. Whatever you do, don't show up late: Not only will this bill certainly sell out, the opening set by the Buttrock Suites Dancers is the ideal way to kick off the evening. HANNAH LEVIN

ZEKE, GO LIKE HELL, AKIMBO, BLACK EYES & NECKTIES
(El Corazón) A true rock 'n' roll New Year's goes down at Seattle's intrepid rock venue El Corazón. This bill pairs the old school—Zeke, Go Like Hell, Akimbo—with Bellingham up-and-comers Black Eyes & Neckties. I've plugged these Black Eyes before in Live Wire and I'll do it again here. If you're down with the most recent glory days in Sub Pop's rock roster (the Murder City Devils, the Catheters), you'll dig the way these young punks tear it up live with plenty of stage theatrics. They're one of those limbs-flying, makeup-smearing, tear-your-heart-out-and-grind-it-through-the-amps kinda bands; rock played hard, loud, and fast—as it should be. JENNIFER MAERZ

NEW YEAR'S SLEAZE W/DJS PORQ, FITS, COLBY B, MC CHOMPERS
(Chop Suey) Comeback has to be one of Chop Suey's—and the city's—most successful club nights. For the second year in a row, the sleazy gay dance party finds much glory here, as all the Comeback favorites take a spin on the turntable. Expect much spit-swappin', ass-grabbin' debauchery tonight—topped with a thick layer of cheese promised by a "naked pizza buffet." JENNIFER MAERZ

JOHN ARNOLD, JEREMY ELLIS, SUN-TZU SOUND SYSTEM
(Nectar Lounge) Broken beat, nu jazz, neo-R&B... whatever the tag, the music of Detroiters Jeremy Ellis (AKA Ayro) and John Arnold—who're playing a freestyle live set tonight—is freshening up a lot of DJ sets and home listeners' headphones. If Stevie Wonder kept extrapolating on his '70s peak output instead of descending into schmaltz, it would sound like Ellis's The Lotus Blooms. The disc's a ravishing outpouring of unconventionally soulful house and edgy, Afro-Latin funk, topped by Ellis's passionately dulcet vocals. Arnold perfectly complements Ellis with funky, wide-lapelled house and broken-beat calor to rival UK standard-bearers Bugz in the Attic's. DAVE SEGAL

NEW YEAR'S EVE BLOWOUT FEATURING VELELLA VELELLA, BLUE SCHOLARS, SPECIAL GUESTS
(Vera Project) Seattle's beloved hiphop duo Blue Scholars are performing double duty this New Year's eve. Their Neumo's show is a 21-and-over affair, but this all-ages party pairs them with the praiseworthy electronic act Velella Velella. If 2005 weren't enough of a hard-gigging year for the Scholars, they're definitely perched for high performance mode for 2006. Check their new disc, the soulful Long March EP, and watch the younguns cheer in a New Year with this eclectic lineup. JENNIFER MAERZ

THE WIZARDS OF WöR, HOLY GHOST REVIVAL, DJS AJ, VALHALLA
(Kincora) DJ AJ describes tonight's show as "Kincora's little gift to their patrons," and it's certainly a generous present—especially for anyone who prefers to welcome the New Year with a metal-fortified soundtrack. The Wizards of Wör are a pleasingly schizophrenic metal outfit who run the full gamut of hard rock genres, surfing from Maiden-esque bombast to Sabbath squall with equal aplomb. Their presence alone would make for a manically entertaining evening, but the inclusion of the Holy Ghost Revival thoroughly seals the deal. Channeling the ambience of Alice Cooper and the aggression of Hanoi Rocks, HGR are undoubtedly one of Seattle's most underrated treasures. Sets from DJ Valhalla and the reliably rockin' AJ round things out nicely. HANNAH LEVIN

SUNDAY 1/1

SKATEVISIONS W/DJ BOBCAT
(Kincora) See Stranger Suggests, page 23.

MONDAY 1/2

I got so much trouble on my mind I refuse to lose.

tueSDAY 1/3

Here's your ticket; hear the drummer get wicked.

wednesDAY 1/4

The crew to you to push the back to the Black Attack so I sat and japped.MORE

EUPHORIETTE, YOUNG SPORTSMEN: Thurs Jan 5, Neumo's

THE ADVANTAGE, GUESTS: Fri Jan 6, the Paradox

REEL BIG FISH, GOLDFINGER, ZEBRAHEAD, BOTTOM LINE: Sat Jan 7, Showbox

COLIN MELOY, LAURA VEIRS, THE TORTURED SOULS: Wed Jan 18, Showbox

INXS: Thurs Jan 19, Paramount

NILE, HYPOCRISY, SOILENT GREEN, RAGING SPEEDHORN, GUESTS: Mon Jan 23, El CorazĂłn

THE BLOOD BROTHERS, MINUS THE BEAR, THESE ARMS ARE SNAKES, CRYSTAL SKULLS: Sat Jan 28, Showbox

ROCKY VOTOLATO, SLENDER MEANS: Sat Jan 28, Crocodile

OF MONTREAL, GRAND BUFFET, GUESTS: Tues Jan 31, Chop Suey

STARS: Wed Feb 8, Showbox

VOYAGER ONE, TOURIST, ROMANCE: Sat Feb 11, Crocodile

BOB MOULD: Wed Feb 15, Neumo's

CAT POWER: Mon Feb 20, Moore

NADA SURF, ROGUE WAVE: Sun Feb 26, Showbox

LOW: Tues March 7, Neumo's

ANTI-FLAG, THE CASUALTIES, THE UNSEEN, SMOKE OR FIRE, THE A.K.A.S: Fri March 17, El CorazĂłn

MINISTRY, REVOLTING COCKS, SPYDER BABY: Sun May 28, Showbox