"Do we want to buy ourselves that kind of trouble?" Market Commissioner Cinnamon Stephens said after the 7-2 nay vote.
To make peace with his neighbors (and ward off an appeal), Sidran should sign a "Good Neighbor Agreement" with the Pike Place Historical Commission--an agreement similar to the "Good Neighbor Agreements" Sidran forced black-oriented clubs like Neko's and Celebrity's to sign in the mid-'90s.
From having 15 security staffers on duty at all times to controlling the conduct in parking lots within a one-block radius of their clubs, Sidran's good neighbor agreements made nitpicky and expensive demands that were impossible for clubs to meet. Club owners had to conduct bathroom checks at least once every 15 minutes (and keep a written log of those checks), enforce a dress code against gang affiliation, and refuse entrance to any patrons with beepers or baseball hats. Oh, and club owners had to refrain from playing hiphop music (goodbye, First Amendment!).
"It's like they shut us down before we even got started," former Neko's owner Valerie Dillard told the Seattle Times earlier this year after winning a $106,000 settlement from the city. Her civil-rights complaint alleged that Neko's was targeted because it played hiphop.
(Neko's and Celebrity's closed after signing these Sidran-mandated death warrants. To read the full text of one of these agreements, as well as an insane "we caught you playing hiphop music" follow-up letter, go to thestranger.com/current/sidranletter.html.)
When it comes to maintaining public order, Sidran clearly has a high tolerance for constitutionally questionable government interference. If the Pike Place Market Association is concerned about the trouble that anti-Sidran protesters might make in the Market, Sidran should be eager to sign a "Good Neighbor Agreement" and put the Market Association's fears to rest.
GOOD NEIGHBOR AGREEMENT
This agreement ("Agreement") is entered into between Mark Sidran, a candidate for mayor ("Sidran"), and the Pike Place Market Historical Commission ("the Pike Place Market Historical Commission").
1. Sidran is a candidate for mayor of the city of Seattle who desires to base his campaign operations in a building he owns ("Building"), which is unfortunately located in the Pike Place Market.
2. The Pike Place Market Historical Commission believes this is a very, very bad idea because some people don't like Sidran, whereas everyone loves absolutely everything about the Pike Place Market, especially the wacky fish-tossing guys. Aren't they hilarious?
3. Anyway, in order to let Sidran have full and fair use of property he unfortunately owns, the Pike Place Market Historical Commission has extracted the following concessions from Sidran:
a. Sidran will make every effort to prevent protesters from making public disturbances, including excessive noise, in or around his campaign office.
b. In order to avoid exciting protesters who may gather in front of the Building, Sidran agrees to enter and exit the Building in a canvas sack carried by no fewer than 15 security officers.
c. Each security officer will have a high-beam flashlight.
d. Sidran's staff members will not carry pagers, cell phones, Palm Pilots, laptop computers, or any other devices that may tip off protesters to the presence of Sidran-for-Mayor campaigners.
e. Sidran and his staffers shall refrain from wearing business suits and/or office attire that might tip off protesters to the presence of Sidran-for-Mayor campaigners. Instead, Sidran and his staffers will wear gang colors, baggy pants, sports jackets, and backward baseball hats whenever they are in or around the Pike Place Market.
