IN A WORLD containing Slobodan Milosevic, the Taliban, and Mark Sidran, it might seem petty, even stupid, to aim the better part of my indignation at an ineffectual pop star. Why would I waste time and energy hating Lenny Kravitz when I could be despising someone truly evil, like the Kansas reverend who picketed Matthew Shepard's funeral with signs reading, "Fag Matt Burns in Hell"?
The answer is simple: Because I can. Humanity loves a scapegoat, and I will happily steer my fury away from legitimate targets (murderous tyrants, self-righteous bigots, irresponsible ex-boyfriends) and aim it at a convenient surrogate. And my surrogate of choice is the pretension-packed, talent-deprived, absolutely shameless Leonard Albert Kravitz.
Lenny Kravitz burst into public consciousness in 1989 as "that guy who's boning Lisa Bonet." His debut album, Let Love Rule, made enough of a splash to infuse the huckster hippie-wannabe with the deluded chutzpah to believe his own pose. Kravitz has been making a fortune giddily raping the graves of his elders (Jimi, Sly, Prince) ever since.
In a perfect world, Kravitz would be accepted for what he is: a Vegas-worthy Karaoke pro who pens his own lyrics. (And what lyrics they are! The words to "Fly Away" -- "I wish that I could fly/into the sky/so very high/just like a dragonfly" -- so closely resemble a poem I wrote in second grade that I'm considering legal action.)
Unfortunately, in our imperfect world, Kravitz has built a career cashing in on the ignorance of Generation X and the amnesia of generations before. Lenny's peddling shit, but we're buying it. And why should he take time to contemplate his callow soul when half the world is throwing underpants?
Kravitz is a criminal, but we are his accomplices. By buying his records and attending his shows, by not calling bullshit on him, we aid in the destruction of all that is good and worthy, and jeopardize for future generations the already tenuous distinction between art and hot stinking crap. Don't let us wait for Kravitz to stage his very own paisley-drenched, bell-bottomed Beer Hall Putsch. Lenny Kravitz must be stopped. Now.
Lenny Kravitz is the Most Loathsome Person in the History of the World