From the Oct 14 – Oct 20, 1999 issue

Worse Than Hitler

Lenny Kravitz is the Most Loathsome Person in the History of the World

Tools

IN A WORLD containing Slobodan Milosevic, the Taliban, and Mark Sidran, it might seem petty, even stupid, to aim the better part of my indignation at an ineffectual pop star. Why would I waste time and energy hating Lenny Kravitz when I could be despising someone truly evil, like the Kansas reverend who picketed Matthew Shepard's funeral with signs reading, "Fag Matt Burns in Hell"?

The answer is simple: Because I can. Humanity loves a scapegoat, and I will happily steer my fury away from legitimate targets (murderous tyrants, self-righteous bigots, irresponsible ex-boyfriends) and aim it at a convenient surrogate. And my surrogate of choice is the pretension-packed, talent-deprived, absolutely shameless Leonard Albert Kravitz.

Stranger Personals

Lenny Kravitz burst into public consciousness in 1989 as "that guy who's boning Lisa Bonet." His debut album, Let Love Rule, made enough of a splash to infuse the huckster hippie-wannabe with the deluded chutzpah to believe his own pose. Kravitz has been making a fortune giddily raping the graves of his elders (Jimi, Sly, Prince) ever since.

In a perfect world, Kravitz would be accepted for what he is: a Vegas-worthy Karaoke pro who pens his own lyrics. (And what lyrics they are! The words to "Fly Away" -- "I wish that I could fly/into the sky/so very high/just like a dragonfly" -- so closely resemble a poem I wrote in second grade that I'm considering legal action.)

Unfortunately, in our imperfect world, Kravitz has built a career cashing in on the ignorance of Generation X and the amnesia of generations before. Lenny's peddling shit, but we're buying it. And why should he take time to contemplate his callow soul when half the world is throwing underpants?

Kravitz is a criminal, but we are his accomplices. By buying his records and attending his shows, by not calling bullshit on him, we aid in the destruction of all that is good and worthy, and jeopardize for future generations the already tenuous distinction between art and hot stinking crap. Don't let us wait for Kravitz to stage his very own paisley-drenched, bell-bottomed Beer Hall Putsch. Lenny Kravitz must be stopped. Now.

Lenny Kravitz is the Most Loathsome Person in the History of the World

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"Fly Away" may have sucked, but at least it kind of rocked if you didn't pay attention to it. I think anybody would take 1999's worst over what we have now.

Posted by The CHZA on July 18, 2011 at 10:09 AM · Report

In other words, 'Fly Away," could not stand the scrutiny of actual listening.

Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus

on July 18, 2011 at 2:13 PM · Report

I recently learned that Lenny has the original REDD37 four-track mixing desk from Studio 1 at EMI (later called "Abbey Road") -- the desk that the earliest Beatles recordings were mixed on, and some of their later work as well (whenever they strayed into Studio 1 from their usual place in Studio 2, the mixing desk from which is lost). It's installed in his studio in the Bahamas. This fact makes me want to cry.

Posted by Fnarf

on July 18, 2011 at 5:03 PM · Report

@Grant, when you come down to it, how many songs can, really?

Posted by laterite on July 18, 2011 at 5:23 PM · Report

This basically reads as "Stop liking what I don't like."

Posted by Guybrush on July 19, 2011 at 1:31 AM · Report

And your self awareness at the absurdity of the complaint tells us to completely disregard everything you say because it is shallow and inconsequential.

Posted by Guybrush on July 19, 2011 at 1:34 AM · Report

"Because I can," is never the answer as to why you would write this kind of drivel. Reading this was like watching a high school kid play drinking games.

Posted by praxedis on July 21, 2011 at 11:45 AM · Report