You have seen this movie before. It’s the ugly duckling all over again, only with people instead of ducks, and high school instead of a duck pond. Said duckling is one Marni Olivia Olsen (Kristen Bell playing a white Ugly Betty), who discovers that her old tampon-stealing high-school bully (the tampon thing doesn’t specifically happen, but may as well have), Joanna, is marrying her older brother. The twist is that Joanna doesn’t remember the suffering she caused Marni—or does she? The plot thickens/coagulates when Joanna’s cosmopolitan aunt (Sigourney Weaver) visits Marni’s house for dinner and Marni’s mom (Jamie Lee Curtis), a former tampon stealer herself, is shocked to see that it is none other than her former high-school bestie. Hence the title, You Again.
With all the necessary characters in place, the movie plods along like every other wedding-centric film. Inevitably, we’re left to wonder—will it or won’t it happen? Forgive and forget? But more importantly, who cares? You Again should have been nothing more than one bad episode (retitled “Up Yours!”) on any show from the 1990s TGIF lineup. Why else would they have cast Carl Winslow and the horny dad from Step by Step if not to make this direct connection?
But the movie is not all just bad. One scene is the worst. It involves our four rivals attempting to outdance each other during the wedding rehearsal using the following moves: booty bouncing, stripper gyrations, general arm flailing, and gymnastics. Watching Jamie Lee Curtis do the reverse mustang on her husband was enough to make me believe in all the Activia she’d been eating—and after this movie, I ate some to cleanse myself of what I’d just seen.