In wake of the terrible tragedy in Orlando, I wanted to share with you a positive experience I had on the weekend at church. Like many Liberal-minded progressive Catholics, I struggle with many of the church's teachings. So I was pleasantly surprised by the priest's homily last Sunday.

He started talking about Orlando and I admit I started to shift uncomfortably in my seat. I had no doubt he would condemn the shootings, but I wondered whether there might be an undertone of "Oh, but homosexuality is still wrong" to his message. He is new to our church and I know nothing about him so I didn't know what to expect. I have always been an LGBT ally and a Savage Love fan so I thought about your words that allies need to stand up for the community, and sometimes that means leaving churches in the middle of services.

Thankfully I didn't have to do that.

Not only did he condemn the shootings, not only did he speak of tolerance and acceptance of the LGBT community, he urged the congregation to actively love and support the community. He spoke of how members of the LGBT community are our brothers and sisters and how we all came into this world the same way and how we are all essentially the same. He urged the congregation not to engage in hate-filled homophobic conversations and behaviors and to call out those who do. Finally, he asked his parishioners to spread the message to their friends, family, fellow churchgoers, and community members.

I teared up. I was touched and a little surprised that this white-haired elderly priest would stand up at the front of a Catholic church and show that he isn't just tolerant—he's an ally—and encourage his congregation to be allies too. And I was touched when I looked around and saw many people nodding their heads in agreement and again when I heard a woman tell him how much she enjoyed his homily as she was leaving the church. I wish I had done that too.

I know this is the way it should be, Dan. I also know the church has an incredibly long way to go and some serious changes need to be made. One homily from one priest certainly doesn't make everything better. But it's also reassuring to know that some Catholic priests aren't afraid to publicly disagree with the church's teachings and to take a stand at Mass. It was reassuring for me, anyway, and I thought it might be for you too.

Sent From Outlook

Thanks for the letter, SFO, and you can tell your priest I enjoyed his homily too (or your recounting of his homily). But I'm not ready to slap the ally label on him. Where does he stand on civil marriage rights for same-sex couples? Adoption rights for same-sex couples? Anti-discrimination protections—and restroom access—for lesbians, gays, bisexual, and transgender people? And what is he willing to say to his congregation about those issues? It's fine to espouse tolerance for those people but it's not worth much—and it doesn't get you off the bigot hook—if you simultaneously oppose equality under the law for those people. I'm glad he isn't, like some Christian pastors, celebrating the deaths of LGBT people. But where does he stand on our lives?

Please note: I'm not talking about theology or who gets into heaven, SFO. I'm not asking about imaginary people or imaginary places. I'm not asking whether your priest is willing to marry same-sex couples. But you can't claim to be an ally to queer people—or claim to be loving and tolerant—while opposing civil equality for queer people. Not liturgical equality, not theological equality, civil equality. That I would ask him about.

The pope makes tolerant noises about LGBT people once in a while ("Who am I to judge?"), SFO, before circling back to, "Oh, but homosexuality is still wrong." Lord knows the pope enjoys palling around with rabid anti-gay bigots and issuing anti-gay pronouncements. And don't get me started on the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

But Lord also knows there are decent priests out there:

Some priests are cool and loving... but none of those priests ever get to be bishops, much less popes. (This process is rigged, too, apparently.) It sounds like your priest might be one of the good ones, like Father Tom. Let's hope he's an ally too.

Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.