I was blindsided... It felt to me like that gut-wrenching moment when a lover says they don’t love you anymore. It felt completely and undeniably final.
They were not lovers, they were merely the most magically matched pair of artists ever to fuck up a stage. By "fuck up" I mean do nasty, hilarious things you couldn't believe, things that sprung from their intense chemistry and wry sense of the world. The shit they said, the songs they sang, the stately grace with which they seemed to destroy every sacred cow and moral, the constant monologues about death and drowning and abandonment, the fun they made of Nancy Reagan banging her head on Ronald's coffin... god those were good times.
Right before they went off to Carnegie Hall to record the double-length album Kiki & Herb Will Die For You (I can be heard screaming "We love you Kiki!" from a top balcony during "Total Eclipse of the Heart"—I was the fanboy who went all that way), they performed in Seattle at Bumbershoot. I got to interview them about their impending deaths.
Have you thought about what songs you want played at your funerals?
BOND: Well, Kiki's favorite song of all time is "Mairzy Doats." If she could get Björk to sing "Mairzy Doats" at her funeral, that'd be nice.
MELLMAN: This is such an indie rock geek answer, but Low recently put out a three-CD compilation of their B-sides, and for a friend's wedding they recorded a version of Journey's "Open Arms," and it's one of the most beautiful, touching things because when he finally reaches for the really high notes, he starts laughing because he can't hit them. I want that played at my funeral.
Are you looking forward to that day?
MELLMAN: Oh, I pray that God will take me sooner rather than later. You know, it's the Kiki line: "If you're going to kill me, ladies and gentlemen, kill me before the end of the show, because I'm tired."
What's the better way to die: falling down a well or being burned alive?
MELLMAN: Those are the only options?
BOND: Being burned alive. I don't know, it seems like if you fall down a well there's still hope. I had a girlfriend who found out her husband was cheating on her about six months ago and went and set herself on fire in a park and died. It was kind of sad. That's drama.
She went out with a bang.
BOND: Well, with a big pfffff, kind of. That wouldn't make a bang. But it made the papers. I think no matter how you die it should always make the papers.
MELLMAN: Here's the thing. Being a 35-year-old man falling down a well? They'd just be like, "Fucking idiot!" You have to be a little girl if you want to fall in a well.... When I was 14 or 15 I read this story in a gay short-story collection about this guy who gets drugged and wakes up like a week later in a dungeon with an egg beater shoved up his ass. And ever since then I have this morbid fear that that's how I'm going to end up. But I figure that I'm old enough now that no one would really want to do that to me. I'll have to find some other new way to die.
You can read the whole interview here.
And by the way, may I also recommend their Christmas album? It's perfect for Christmas, but it's also ideal for summer, spring, and fall.
Is there any chance they'll ever reunite and tour to Seattle again? Probably not. But hope springs eternal. They recently reunited for eleven shows in New York City that sold out in three minutes.
Mx Justin Vivian Bond tweeted this morning about being "moved to tears" by Mellman's piece. Re! U! Nite! Re! U! Nite! Re! U! Nite!
