Thirty-two-year old, married straight male. I have a problem that I don't know how to deal with. I'm an alcoholic, and my wife is too. We met 5 years ago at the beach. I had never drank more than three or four drinks in a day, and never before 5 o'clock, but I was crazy about her and had a blast day-drinking. We hit it off and are now married.

When we started dating we lived in separate cities about two hrs away, so we would spend every weekend together. Drinking. A lot. After we moved in together I've had a spate of jobs, but nothing that would be called a career. Now I'm a certifiable alcoholic, I wake up to a beer three days of the week. She has a great job, but she still comes home and drinks until bed. I don't know how she does it. This kind of substance abuse is hurting our relationship, I don't have her tolerance, and I cannot be productive in any way, shape, or form the day after drinking.

What do I do? She's not going to stop drinking, but I can't live a normal life drinking like this. I don't have the willpower to not drink when she does it too. I've talked to her about it, I've even been in rehab for a week, but the minute I slipped she happily had a beer right beside me. She's a superhero when it comes to alcohol, but I'm not. It's ruining my life. Any advice?

Don't Really Understand Nasty Knelling Sound

DTMFA.

It's been a kinda week here at Savage Love, Inc.

I promise to dig through the mail next week, dear readers, and find some LWs whose relationships might be salvageable—with a little of my advice, and some of yours. But some weeks there's nothing in the mailbag but DTMFA situations and this has been one of those weeks.

Anyway, DRUNKS, the bell knells for thine marriage presently—but it's gonna be knelling for thee soon, if thee don't get out of there. Your wife may be a lovely person, but you're going to die of alcoholism, alcohol poisoning, and/or the enabling of one alcoholic by another if you don't pack up your liver and leave.

You know what you need to do—it's clear in your letter that you do—and now you have my permission to do it. That is what you wanted, right? I thought so. Let's hope it's enough to get you out of there.

Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.