Salty sea, salty governor.
Salty sea, salty governor. Aeypix/Shutterstock.com

This is probably the most exciting thing to come out of Maine since the Zumba madam sex scandal of 2012, and even that we had to look up.

Maine governor Paul LePage left a profanity-laced voicemail for Democratic Rep. Drew Gattine Wednesday night, after an exchange with a reporter led LePage to believe Gattine had called him a racist.

In the voicemail, LePage lobs obscenities, calling Gattine a cocksucker, a son-of-a-bitch, and, worst of all, a socialist. He also baits the Dem to "prove I'm a racist" and challenges Gattine to "record [this message] and make it public."

Here it is, all 34 seconds of it, in glorious Technicolor:

In case you thought this was a one-shot deal, LePage doubled down yesterday, inviting a reporter from the Portland Press Herald, as well as a two-person ABC affiliate crew, to Blaine House so he could sort-of challenge Gattine to a duel:

“When a snot-nosed little guy from Westbrook calls me a racist, now I’d like him to come up here because, tell you right now, I wish it were 1825,” LePage said. “And we would have a duel, that’s how angry I am, and I would not put my gun in the air, I guarantee you, I would not be (Alexander) Hamilton. I would point it right between his eyes, because he is a snot-nosed little runt and he has not done a damn thing since he’s been in this Legislature to help move the state forward.”

LePage has a history of making racially-charged statements around Maine's growing heroin epidemic. For example, at a town hall in January, LePage said, “These are guys with the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty…these types of guys, they come from Connecticut and New York, they come up here, they sell their heroin, they go back home.’’

Here he Wednesday at another town hall:

Gattine was vocally critical of the comments to a reporter, calling them "not at all helpful" in tackling the state's drug issues. LePage was set off when the reporter asked him about it, LePage demanded names and then stormed off like the leader he is to verbally-abused Gattine's voicemail inbox.

If you're wondering how this guy got elected, John Oliver has already tackled this very question: