It may seem counterintuitive, but I hate watching sports in a sports bar. Sports bars are where other sportsball fans go, and generally speaking, I'm not really into sportsball fans, especially not a roomful of drunk and angry ones. I like going to places that I would normally hang out at that have a few TVs and happen to be showing the game where I can yell like a crazy person. (Hey, looking at you, Poquitos [1000 E Pike St]. Smooch!)

What could be more depressing than spending Thanksgiving Day afternoon watching a bunch of teams you don't give a shit about in a sports bar? On Thanksgiving Day, the games are Vikings versus Lions, Cowboys versus Redskins, and Steelers versus Colts. None of them are the Seahawks. This is a shitty football day.

The Yelp reviews for Joe's Bar & Grill (500 S King St) alone are amazing: "Pretty sketchy clientele, 8 out of 10 of the people there were completely hammered. There were discarded pull tabs everywhere and it smelled like rotting Blackberry Brandy—I loved it!" wrote Melinda.

"Terrifying. Cash only. I love it. A shot and beer back is $4.75. I'm pretty sure I've seen patrons cash their paychecks here. Dirty crowd, most people are cut off by 7 pm... I'm literally creating a Yelp count just to write this review. Bring hand sanitizer," wrote Katrina K.

Indeed, Joe's is a classic dive that is reminiscent of the bar in the Accused—wood-paneled walls, TV screens in every room, a pool table, and a jukebox blaring Led Zeppelin, Johnny Cash, and Stevie Ray Vaughan. They sell "mystery shots" and pull tabs. The clientele is as advertised—rode hard and put away wet. But I'll say this for them: It's the most racially diverse crowd in Seattle. Love of alcohol is color-blind.

Read the full feature How to Have the Worst Thanksgiving Ever (On Purpose)