I’ve been married forever (over 40 years) and am still sexually active. Our sex life has mostly consisted of oral sex—his choice. Personally, I prefer penetration, which we have for 30 seconds or less (every once in a while) but have gone along with his choice of oral sex. Needless to say, we are both VERY good at what we do after all this time. I gave more than I got as I aged—again my choice. Except I am now almost 70 and he is 72 and I am bored with giving blow jobs. He gets sulky when I try to tell him that I am tired not of sex but of giving blowjobs. Of course, at his age penetration is a little more of a challenge but not impossible. But to him it seems like more work. Well, giving blow jobs is a lot of work, too!

He feels he gives me a good life (of course I give him a good life too) and he gives me what I want, which is telling me a story a few times a month before I fall asleep. I get it. But the idea that I am trading blow jobs for lightweight bedtime stories strikes me as low-grade prostitution.

He doesn’t fight well. Instead, he gets depressed and/or sulks and makes the whole thing a big deal. This current round of him sulking and making this a huge deal is going on for 24 hours with many more hours or maybe days to go. Which I guess is how we got to 40+ years and not resolving this. I guess at this point I am not going to insist on intercourse nor am I once again going to have an affair (which I have done every once in a while to get a good fuck) but, jeez, do I have to keep giving blowjobs forever?

Bored With Blowjobs

You don't have to keep giving blowjobs forever, BWB. You could quit today, you could quit tomorrow, you could jump in the time machine I wish I had and quit 40+ years ago.

My dispassionate, third-party perspective: Your husband has received a lifetime of sex—in the style he prefers—and in exchange he's told you a handful of bedtime stories. I'm assuming he's been telling you dirty stories, BWB, and I'm furthermore assuming you furiously masturbate while he tells you those dirty stories, and my final assumption is that the you get off on his stories. Still, lots-of-head-for-occasional-dirty-story seems like a shitty deal.

But rather than focus on the entire history of your relationship and your husband's boring obsession with a standard, run-of-the-mill blowjob, let's focus on his sulking fit and your future. You voiced your displeasure with Suck Only and asked for the odd Good Fuck. Your husband responded by moping. We can roll our eyes and dismiss the sulking—it can be a manipulative strategy meant to shut down partner's reasonable complaint(s)—but your husband may have aged into a legit justification for preferring blowjobs and being sulky about it. Penetration, like you said, may be difficult for him now, at his age; in the past he was a lazy and selfish lover, now he may be an old man with erectile issues and insecurities about those issues that he may be too ashamed to discuss directly (so, sulking).

Now for the good news, BWB: You don't need his dick to get a good fuck—and you don't need to cheat on him either. Dicks can have erectile issues but quality dildos don't. Order yourself some brand new toys, set them on the nightstand, and make a new deal with your husband: you'll give him one good blowjob for each good fuck he gives you—dick or dildo, whichever he prefers.