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This (sadly) isn't a question about sex but since it's about genitals, I thought I'd send it to you anyway since I can't find the answer. About 2-3 times per year, I get a cold sore (on my mouth lips) and because life is cruel, these often coincide with having my period. I am vigilant about washing my hands before and after changing my tampon and I try never to touch the cold sore but I'm wondering about the possibility of inadvertently giving myself genital herpes. I have been accidentally celibate for about five years and have this horror that I'll end up with a non-sexual STI. Could life be that unfair? Or can I let this fear go?

Cunt Or Lip Dilemma

Let it go, COLD.

Take it away, Dr. Sara Pentlicky of Planned Parenthood...

The short answer is no. It is almost impossible (if not entirely impossible) for you to transmit HSV-1 (the herpes that causes oral cold sores) from your mouth to your genitals. This is true for two reasons. First, because you have cold sores you have antibodies to HSV-1 that will fight any new exposure, making it unlikely for you to ever develop genital HSV-1. Second, herpes doesn’t live on dry skin surfaces (hence herpes blisters don’t form on fingers). Therefore, it is even less likely that touching a cold sore and then removing a tampon would transmit HSV-1. However, everyone should wash their hands often and definitely after touching herpes blisters. Herpes transmission happens during skin to skin contact with skin that is susceptible to infection: i.e. genital to genital, mouth to mouth, or mouth to genital. Thus, it is almost impossible for you contract genital HSV-1 from your cold sores.

Throw this fear away, COLD. Never think about again. Bury “this horror” along with all the other things that aren’t possible in 2017, like affordable health care, a free press, and a sane lady president. (Just kidding, kinda—we can still fight for those things.)

And, hey! Isn’t it great to have Planned Parenthood around to answer our questions? Here’s my regular reminder to SUPPORT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. Donate to Planned Parenthood by following this link. Even a small, symbolic donations of five or ten bucks helps because the number of donors matters just as much as the amount of money Planned Parenthood raises.

Finally, COLD, people don’t have sex for plenty of reasons, from asexuality to grad school to busyness to health issues. I don’t know if you’re beating yourself up about being accidentally celibate for five years—but if you are: stop!

Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.