Then Cheeto Hitler it is.

Dorito Voldemort is also a good option.

Cheese Nip-oleon.

"Your latest podcast (at least the piss stuff) was literally the stupidest, most pointless thing I've ever listened to. To put in perspective, I have an undergrad degree in journalism. I've heard the worst of the worst. Another victory for 4chan I suppose."

If you're going to try to show off your degree, why not put some more effort into sounding erudite?

Nobody gives a shit about false "authority", guy who graduated from college with a degree in journalism but is not working in journalism.

Agree with LW#1 re: the term 'kiddie porn'. I'm a nearly-60yo woman who experienced sexual assault repeatedly from early childhood through adolescence. 'Kiddie Porn' completely diminishes the reality of the experience and subsequent fallout many of us experience(d). It sounds like a carnival ride or a circus sideshow.

I get it that users of child pornography call it ‘kiddie porn’ (I’ve known plenty of people who purchase and view it). The phrase makes it sound so harmless and consensual, and perhaps enhances their denial that it's harmful. But it’s not harmless for most (if not all) of us who were used for sex as children.

Mainstream media outlets are unlikely - ever - to use language that conjures up what actually takes place when an infant/child is sexually assaulted (i.e., "child sexual abuse images" or "child rape images” and the like), but less mainstream / more progressive media sources like SavageLove might be willing to be more creative AND more realistic when the topic is discussed.

At least the media now acknowledges both the existence of - and in some cases, the prevalence of - child pornography and child sexual assault. For those of us who were told time and again that our experience couldn't have happened, this is tremendous progress.

Even better will be when people reading, watching, or listening to the news no longer have the opportunity to gloss over the reality that children are sexually assaulted, sometimes tortured and killed, on film or off, every minute of every day. That’s the reality. The phrase 'Kiddie Porn’ helps people deny that reality, in my opinion. YMMV.

Are my wife, my girlfriend, and I the only ones calling it a hoo-haw?

@6 in your apparently polyamorous case, a double-hoo-haw (or a treble-hoo-haw if you're female bodied).

So long as you don't discuss Mee-Maw's Hoo-Hah.

#cheetobenito

@9
Uh, that's for Trompe, not for pussy

"Grabbing a cold Schlitz" was never so problematic.

This is why the instructions for collecting a urine sample at the doctor's office (when looking for infection) include cleaning the urethral opening first and collecting the urine mid-steam. These two steps prevent the urine sample from being contaminated with bacteria from the urethral opening or skin/surface.

Huh? When I had to provide a urine sample for STD testing I was specifically told that they wanted the first part of the urine stream. This makes a lot more sense than what this LW is saying. They want to test for bacteria in your urine, so they want the part with the most bacteria and not the part where all bacteria are flushed away and "and the urine coming out is once again sterile."

@12 urine samples for STI testing are collected using a different method than urine samples for UTI testing. The former doesn't involve a culture but rather a polymerase chain reaction test looking for evidence of chlamydia and gonorrhea (the swabs of your anus, urethra or cervix are for culture, however.)

When looking for STIs, any evidence of those organisms rules it in. When looking for UTIs, you want to make sure you're culturing what's in the bladder on up, not whatever benign skin bacteria are amassed as the pee exits the body.

@13, thanks, that makes sense.

"Wank" is unisex and also rhymes with "bank." WANK BANK. Import it from Britain. (But for your own sakes, don't take Nigel Farage.)

My sincerest sympathies to those who were exploited as children so that sick individuals could get their rocks off. :(

And more terms from soon-to-be-No-Longer-Great Britain:
Cunt (stop flinching, Yanks)
Vag
Vajayjay
Lady garden
Muff
Lady cave
I have indeed heard hooha, but I think it's just as un-sexy as calling a penis a peepee.

To help the offense taking pussy, I suggest Twitler. Love the other suggestions so far!

Why do we need a feminine form of "spank bank?" You realize there aren't any men out there literally spanking their dicks, right?

You did it! You took Nigel Farage! What did I tell you?? *sigh*

Just chiming in here: the Dutch LW is correct, and the German LW is wrong -- I suspect because he doesn't quite get the way that "pussy" is used in English. The German word "Fotze" is considered so totally offensive that you can live in Germany for years without ever hearing it (depending on the people you associate with); it has basically the same meaning and emotional impact as "cunt" in the United States. "Muschi" is playfully pornographic. Don't use the word "Fotze."

I've been reading entirely too many medieval (or pseudo-medieval) fantasy novels lately, and I'm quite taken by coyne (as a synonym for pussy).

As far as the goblin goes, I love all the suggestions, but for now I'm sticking with Prince Trumperdinck.

I saw a funny internet meme showing a cat with a pizza slice around its head. The Caption: "I know what Trump grabs, I am a pizza." I now refer to my cats as Pizzas, better to avoid any issues with Moron in Chief.

@16 ~ Thanks, BiDanFan, that's kind of you. It's misuse of power, generally speaking, more than it is about getting one's rocks off (and yes, that happens too). Adults have inherent power over kids (and pets, for that matter), and many take advantage of that power by harming children (and pets) in a variety of ways, including sexual assault. I'm not referring here to truly consensual sexual acts between adolescents and adults (see Campsite Rule). YMMV.